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The way Asher gazed at me this evening had never changed. He always looked at me as if I was a goddess. It was addicting.
Intoxicating.
Frightening as hell, especially considering everything I wasn’t telling him.
“We have those.” Asher smiled and turned away, but I laid a hand on his arm to make him face me.
“I want to sleep with you. I do.”
He frowned. “Sounds like there is a but coming. Message received. I know the job thing makes it awkward. I can’t decide if I’m grateful to Gran for bringing you back into my life or mad at her for making it so I can’t be with you.” His frown eased into a smile, as his expressions so often did. That his smile made the worry lines around his eyes turn into sexy crinkles was just a bonus. “Nah, that’s a lie. I’m grateful. I’d given up hope of ever finding you again.”
My heart started beating way too fast. “Did you try?”
“No.” His eyes darkened until I couldn’t see where his pupils ended and his irises began. “We made an agreement. I’m in no place for a relationship. As you indicated you weren’t.”
“Did I say that?”
If I had, I was a moron.
I was so used to being alone now that I was too wary to risk caring about someone, only to lose them again. As much as I claimed I wanted freedom, the biggest box I’d ever been trapped in had no sides.
Loneliness was endless and vast, with no date of reprieve.
Asher chuckled. “More or less.”
“You said it first.”
Maybe. I wasn’t even sure. I’d been in hardcore defense mode.
So determined to lose my virginit
y and learn all the secrets of the world. But I wouldn’t fall in love and get my heart broken. I would leave before that happened.
So much for that.
He chuckled again. “I don’t remember that part.”
“Me either. My memories are centered on other things that happened that night.”
“Me too.” He was back staring at my mouth again, and the wild heartbeat in my chest was now also beating between my thighs. “That was the other reason I never looked for you. I knew if I found you, I wouldn’t be able to let you go this time.”
I had to tell him. It wasn’t fair to keep such important things secret.
Two important things. My guilty conscience was about to explode.
“I know Lily isn’t your daughter,” I blurted, shutting my eyes while the words echoed in my head.
That was how I told him? Really?
He didn’t move back. Nor did he look away once I dared to open my eyes again. “I wondered if you might know. Or had figured it out.”
“Why?”
“It’s common enough knowledge. Billy’s accident was big news for a while.” He dipped his hands in his pockets. “I’m sure you figured something was up when you saw how fucking clueless I am when it comes to taking care of her.”
“No. I assumed you were the typical workaholic rich guy who couldn’t wait to pass her off on someone.”
His jaw locked. “And now?”
