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“Your rashy, warty dick? Damn straight I don’t want to know about that.” She grabbed the diaper bag beside Rhiannon’s bed and slung it over her shoulder. “Thank you for watching your niece. Goodnight.”
“My dick is just fucking fine!” I insisted before Ivy quietly shut the door.
I dropped into my armchair. How much beer did I have? I was going to drink all of it. Right now.
Turned out I’d drank my last can. I rarely drank alcohol and therefore never kept much in the house.
Served me right.
I went to the window to see if Kinleigh’s truck was still in the driveway. Yes, indeed. Truth be told, I probably would’ve heard it if she’d left, although she never drove a stick with as little finesse as my baby sister. Not sure anyone did.
Grabbing my phone, I quickly texted Kinleigh.
What did you tell my sister about my dick?
Almost immediately, a flurry of bubbles appeared, indicating she was typing. And typing. And possibly erasing and typing some more. It lasted so long I nearly demanded she spit it out before her reply finally came through.
Huh?
That was an awful lot of typing for a three-word letter.
Sorry. Thumbs r broken. Texting iz hard.
Why?
Y you think? I had a couple. Mebbe 3. Or 4?
A couple what?
Just wine. But Ivy holding me in prison 2nite.
I still hadn’t gotten an answer to my dick question, but Kinleigh on the other side of the duplex held some very intriguing possibilities.
If only she hadn’t been drinking. We’d run that scene once before, and the next time we slept together, I intended for her faculties to be operating on all cylinders.
She texted me again before I’d decided how to respond.
I didn’t say anything about your penis to her. I swear. How awk would that b? Anyway, issa secret.
It was a secret we’d slept together, even if I would never truly understand why. We were all adults. There was no reason for this cloak and dagger stuff.
Not even to call it warty and rashy?
WHAT? God, no. Your specimen was practically perfect.
I grinned. I didn’t love the ‘practically’ part, but I supposed there was a margin for error.
My specimen? Weird, Kin, but thanks. Do I dare ask why she started the latex shit?
Not sure. You know how women r when they get 2gether.
Did I ever. Men too.
A moment later, she texted again.
Is it true? Did u have some kind of reaction from using a *eggplant emoji*?
I definitely hadn’t used an eggplant for any reason at all, but I assumed she was referring to what went on my eggplant. God save me.
