AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Yeah, but he ain’t got no dental insurance,” she says, soundin’ all pitiful.
I cut my eyes over at her. “That niggah stays robbin’ niggahs. He should be takin’ some of that money he gets for sellin’ that stolen shit and invest it in shavin’ down them damn horse teeth instead of trickin’ it up on drinks and smoke.”
“He don’t be trickin’ all of it up. He buys groceries and pays the cable bill too, ho. Don’t get it twisted.”
So this is what it’s all come down to. Having a niggah to buy your groceries and pay your cable bill. And a bitch is cool with just that. I sigh. Shit, I know I’m ghetto. But at least I’m classy-ghetto with mine. But this ho right here, she’s straight gutter-trash with hers. And you damn sure can’t take her ass anywhere outside of the damn hood unless you wanna get embarrassed. And that’s exactly why I only hang with her ass down at the Crack House. She could never roll with me up to any exclusive-type shit.
I reach over and pat her hand. “Girl, what can I say? You definitely snagged the door prize.”
“I know, girl. I mean, don’t get me wrong. Knutz does some fucked up thangs sometimes. But y’all don’t know him like I know him. I wish you’d get to know him a little better and you’d see. He’s really a good man, Cassie.”
Yeah, and he beats your ass. And is in and outta jail. Oh, and he robs niggahs. Yup, that niggah’s real special. I yawn. “Okay, boo-boo. If you say so.”
“Ohmygod, it feels like the truck’s spinnin’. Can you slow the hell down?”
“Bitch, I’m at a light. That’s your head spinnin’. Your ass is fucked up, ho.”
She hangs her head all the way out of the window and throws up. When the light changes, I pull over to the side of the road and let her get herself together. “Bitch, you better not have gotten any of that nasty shit on the side of my damn truck or I’ma bang you in your motherfuckin’ head. I told your dumb ass to not suck down all those Bloody Tampons.”
She sucks her teeth. “Ho, shut up. I ain’t get nothin’ on your precious truck.”
“Better not. That’s what your drunk-ass gets for being so damn hard-headed. I told your ass them things were gonna sneak up on you. That’s why I don’t drink ’em.”
She groans. “I can’t wait to get in the house. Everything’s goin’ around and around. I feel like I’m on a merry-go-round. I need to lie down. Ohmygod . . . I’ma have’ta give Knutz some pussy; otherwise he’s gonna think I’ve been out somewhere fuckin’. I hope I don’t throw up while he’s on top of me.”
Ain’t no one tryna hear that dumb shit. I roll my eyes up in my head, turning the music up.
“Ohmygod, can you turn that fuckin’ music down? My head is poundin’.”
“Uh-huh. That’s not the only thing that’s gonna be poundin’ when you walk through that door. Knutz is gonna punch your ass into a wall.”
I glance at the digital clock up on the dashboard. 9:10 P.M. It’s still early as hell. I shoulda put this ho in a taxi and stayed down at the bar a little longer. I was startin’ to have a good damn time talkin’ shit to Buddha’s fine ass. And after I tossed back my second Blow Job I was even poppin’ shit to that niggah AJ, who I’m even more sure I’ve seen him somewhere before. It’s gonna bother the shit outta me until I figure out how and where I know him. Anyway, I’m glad I slid Buddha my number on my way out the door. I told him he needed to call me before Jah got out of the county, then whispered in his ear, “I wanna fuck you.” I stepped off with his eyes glued to my ass, and him grinnin’.
I pull up in front of Dickalina’s buildin’. “Give me your phone so I can call one of your daughters to come down here and help you upstairs. I don’t want your ass breakin’ your neck tryna get up in the house.”
Her phone starts ringin’. She fumbles around in her bag for it. “Hello?”
“Yo, where da fuck you at?” It’s Knutz spazzin’ out like a damn maniac.
“I’m downstairs, Knutz. Damn.”
“Why da fuck you ain’t been pickin’ up your muthafuckin’ phone, huh? You was ’posed to have ya sneaky ass home two hours ago. You stay on that dumb shit, Lina. Then you wonder why I be wildin’ ’n shit. You gonna fuck around and lose a good man behind ya dumb shit.”
I shake my head. “Ho, you need to stop lettin’ that niggah talk to you any ole kinda way.”
She covers the mouthpiece, the shoots me a look. “Bitch, mind your business. And stay up outta mine.”
“Well, you can get the fuck up out my car with all that dumb shit y’all talkin’.”
“Yo, who da fuck is that in the background?” I can hear him ask. “How da fuck you gonna be talkin’ to someone else when I’m tryna have a civilized conversation with you, Lina?”
Civilized? Mmmph. Ain’t nothin’ civilized ’bout that coon.
“I know, baby,” she says, lowerin’ her voice. “I’m sorry. Let’s talk about this when I get upstairs. Can you come down and get me? I’m tore up, Knutz, baby. I need you to help me walk into the buildin’.”
The next thing I hear before the line goes silent is, “Hell no! You must be outta ya rabbit-ass head. I told you to bring ya black ass home two hours ago, and you said fuck me. So, fuck you and ya drunk ass. Crawl ya dumb-ass up to da muthafuckin’ buildin’.”
She stares at the phone. “Hello? Hello?” She grunts. “I’m so fuckin’ sick of his black ass. I’m good to that niggah, you know what I’m sayin’?
