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“Lina, puhleeze. Grip a dick, bitch. Yeah, I know Day’Asia’s a lil’ ho-ish, but at least I admit it. You, on the other hand, wanna deny the facts that your daughters are sluts.”
She stops what she’s doin’, placin’ a wet hand up on her apron-covered hip. “Oh, you wait one damn minute now, bitch. You really done gone too far. I know Candy and Tina aren’t the most innocent girls out there, but they damn sure ain’t sluts, either. But, mighty funny Day’Asia was the one suckin’ a string of dicks in the stairwell. And we all know that’s why you rushed to move the hell up outta here, but I guess she ain’t no slut, now, right?”
“Yeah, Day’Asia was the one who got caught. But don’t get it twisted. Clitina was the head ho in charge of the dick suckin’ committee. But I ain’t one to gossip. Anyway, why is Candy’s grown ass home from school?”
She sucks her teeth. “Her ass done cursed out the principal. Now they want her to see a shrink when ain’t shit wrong with my baby.”
“What you mean ain’t shit wrong with your baby? Chile, face it. There are two things wrong with that lie. First is, Candy has a grown woman’s pussy with lots of cock mileage on it, so she definitely not a damn baby. She lost that title the first time she popped a dick in her mouth. And the second is, she’s eighteen still in tenth damn grade. Now either she’s borderline retarded or she’s just plain ole stupid, either way . . . I don’t mean no harm here but there’s somethin’ definitely wrong with that picture. And you need help ya damn self if you can’t see it.”
“Bitch, ain’t shit wrong with Candylicious. She’s lazy and don’t wanna do the damn work; that’s it. I keep tellin’ her ass if she’d just study harder she could pull those Eff’s up to Dees.”
“Girl, I done heard it all. What you have in here to drink?” I glance down at my watch to make sure it’s after twelve. I don’t like to toss a drink back before noon. “I think your ass needs to see—” I stop midsentence when my cell starts ringin’. It’s from one of the kids’ schools. I take a deep breath. Answer in my professional voice. “Hello?”
“Miss Simms?”
“Yes. Who’s speaking?”
“It’s Vice Principal Wiggins over at Eastside Charter Academy. I’m callin’ about your son, Isaiah . . . ”
“Yes. What about him?”
“We need you to come pick him up from school. He’s being suspended for the rest of the week.”
“Whaaaat? Suspended? What the fuck you mean he’s suspended for the rest of the week? What his black ass do this time?”
“Miss Simms, please calm down.”
“Calm down? Oh, I’m calm. I’m calm. I’m soooo fuckin’ calm. Now what the fuck he do ’cause you know I’ma turn that school out?”
“Please, Miss Simms. That’s what I’m hoping to avoid this time. I don’t want to have the police and DYFS called out here again. That kind of disruption is always upsetting to the students.”
“And gettin’ a call at”—I glance at the time—“twelve-thirty in the afternoon from you is upsettin’ to me. A bitch can’t even go out and have some chill time with her girl without some shit happenin’. I’ll be right there.” I get up from the table. “Isaiah done got his black ass suspended. Now I gotta go down to the school and act a damn fool. I’ll talk to you later, girl.”
Dickalina grunts as I walk outta the kitchen. “Mmmph. But my girls are the ones fucked up. Yeah, okay. Call me later and let me know what his bad ass did this time.”
“Kiss my ass, Dickalina,” I say, headin’ toward the door.
“I love you, too, bitch,” she says back, laughin’.
I smack Candy upside the head as I walk by. “Oww!” she yelps, jumpin’ up from the sofa. “Why the fuck you hit me?”
I swing open the door, then turn to face her. “For bein’ so goddamn ugly. Now buck, booga, so I can whoop the shit outta you.”
She rolls her eyes, suckin’ her teeth as I slam the door in her face.
Sixteen
I don’t even pull into the parkin’ space good or get outta my truck before I see Wiggins’ big-dick self racing out of the school’s doors toward me. I step outta the truck, frownin’ at his ass.
“Uh, when the fuck you start meetin’ me outside? This better be some new shit y’all doing down here with all the parents who have to pick up their kids ’cause if you only doing the shit to me, I’ma light your ass up, Wiggins. And you know I will.”
“Now, now, Miss Simms, there won’t be any need for all that. I just thought I’d remind you to please try to keep it together when you get inside. There’s a certain etiquette that we like to maintain at all times at the Academy and I’m hoping—”
“Wiggins, cut the shit, niggah. The only thing you need to be hoping is that I don’t tell your wife how many times I let you fuck me over the summer and how many times I might ride down on your cock this school year. I don’t need you to remind me of shit. What you tryna say? That I’m some hood-ghetto bitch or somethin’? I pay tuition here like every-goddamn-body else. Don’t have me drag your rusty ass into court for discrimination and sexual harassment, bitch.”
His eyes pop open. “Miss Simms, please. Lower your voice; all that is unnecessary. You gave me your word that our indiscretions from this past summer would never be spoken of out in public. So, please.” He looks around to make sure no one else is in earshot. “Let’s keep this strictly about Isaiah. We all know how passionate you can get when it comes to your children’s misbehaviors.”
“Passionate? Niggah, my pussy don’t get wet over no shit like that. You know I’m only passionate about good dick. I don’t know what kinda sick games you into, but you better watch your step. Or I’ma have your ass under investigation. Let me find out you up in there gettin’ passionate with one of these kids and I’ma have your goddamn head.”
