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“Chillin’; thinking about you.”
I smile. “That’s sweet of you.”
“What you got planned for the day? I was hoping we could catch a movie and grab a bite to eat later on.”
I blink. Outside of meeting him a few times at the Sheraton, going out in public isn’t something we’ve done thus far. Fucking him behind closed doors is how I’ve wanted to keep things between us—for now. At least, until I can figure out what I want. However, I thought keeping this thing between us under wraps is what we both agreed on. “I can’t,” I tell him. “How about we meet up at your place later on tonight instead?”
He sighs. “Yo, c’mon, Porsha. How long we gonna sneak around? It’s been weeks. Don’t you think it’s time we step this up a notch?”
“Em, you told me we could move at my pace. That you wouldn’t pressure me. You do remember saying that, no?”
“Yeah, I said it. But, damn...”
“Look, if you’re having second thoughts, then maybe we should stop now before things get too serious.”
“Is that what you want?” he asks, sounding frustrated. Truth is, I don’t know what I want. The more time I spend with Emerson, the more attracted I am to him. He’s a damn good man. Yeah, and he’s fucked my sisters and me. “Look,” he says, not waiting for me to answer the question. “I wanna spend time with you out and about during the day. Not holed up in a hotel or my spot, ordering take out all the time. And not at night. You’re a beautiful woman. And I wanna do things with you. Go out. Take day trips into the city, or weekend drives down to the Baltimore Harbor. I wanna chill with you. Damn, is that too much to ask?”
“No,” I state, turning into my development.
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I’m not ready. I’m still trying to figure things out. Still trying to come to terms with potentially getting involved with a man I’ve shared with my sisters.”
“I told you, I’m cool with it. I mean, it’s nothing we can do about it now. It happened. If you’re worried that I might wanna get it in with ’em again, don’t be. The only woman I’m interested in is you.”
I pull into my driveway and park behind Persia’s car, turning my engine off. “That’s not what I’m worried about.”
“Then what is it? Persia? You think she’s gonna be pissed that you’re giving into your own feelings for a change, and doing something you want to do for yourself?”
I frown. “How dare you? I’ll have you know, I run my own life. Persia doesn’t control shit, I do.” But she tries, I think, looking up at the second floor of our home. Persia’s curtain moves. She’s stepped away from the window. “I’m my own woman. The fact is, Em, I’m not ready; period. Now if that’s too much for you to deal with, then let’s end this now.” I’m not sure if it’s the fact that he knows I’m concerned about how Persia’s going to react to the news that has me so pissed at him right now, or if it’s the fact that I am letting her control aspects of my life, indirectly.
“C’mon, Porsha, let’s not do this. I don’t wanna turn this into a fight. All I’m sayin’ is sometimes you gotta take some risks. I know what I want. I just want you to know what it is you want, too. All I’m askin’ is for you to give us a chance. That’s all.”
I glance back up at Persia’s bedroom window. I see her shadow again. I sigh. “I don’t wanna fight with you, either.”
“Cool. I tell you what. How ’bout we do this: I have a timeshare I need to use the last week in June. How about you fly out to Curacao with me? Let’s spend the week together. And see how things go. If you’re still not sure about what you wanna do, I’ll bow out gracefully and let you do you.”
“Em—”
“Before you say no, think about it. In the meantime, I wanna see you tonight. Sounds like you could use a nice, relaxing, full-body massage. Come through and let my hands make love to your body.”
I smile. “I’ll be there at eight.”
“Aiight, see you then.”
I disconnect the call, then step out of the car, shutting the door behind me. I activate the alarm, making my way inside the house. As soon as I reach for the handle, the door swings open.
“Girl, I didn’t know what was going on. You were sitting out in that car for a long-ass time. Is everything alright? I thought I was going to have to call nine-one-one.”
Persia steps back, lets me in. “Everything’s fine. I was finishing up a phone call.”
“Well,” she says, following me up the stairs. “It must’ve been some call for you to stay out in the car all that time.”
“It was,” I say, walking into my bedroom, then stepping out of my sneakers.
I feel her eyes burning a hole through me. I turn to face her. Tilt my head. “What?”
She narrows her eyes. “Anything you wanna talk about?”
