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She picks another melon from out of her glass and bites into it. “Mmm, this is good.” She dabs at the corners of her mouth with her napkin. “Not that I know of. And hopefully I’ll never have to. I mean, I can’t say what he will or won’t do ’cause shit happens.”
I toss back the rest of my drink, then sit my empty glass down on the table. “Girl, please. Shit does not just happen. It happens because we want it to, okay, whether it’s planned or unexpected.”
“Well, true,” Felecia agrees, holding her glass out for more wine when Porsha walks back into the room with a fresh pitcher full. “All I’m saying is a man’s gonna do what a man’s gonna do; especially if he thinks he can get away with it. I’d rather not find out about it.”
“Well, has he ever shared you with someone else?” Porsha asks, eyeing her, as she fills her glass.
I smile, watching as she guzzles down her drink. Now this is the lush we know and love. Yeah, boo, go on and get ya drink on so we can pump ya ass for dirt. She wipes the corner of her mouth with her thumb. “Are you asking me if I’ve ever cheated on him?”
What the fuck you think? I tilt my head. “Well, have you?”
“Ohmygod,” she says, covering her face. “I can’t believe I’m sitting here getting ready to tell y’all this…”
I suck my teeth. “Oh, girl, please. Your secret’s safe with us.”
“Oh, I know it is. So to answer your question, yes, I did. Only once, though.”
“Ooooh, girl, you nasty tramp,” Porsha teases. “How long ago was that?”
“It was like in the beginning of our relationship. You know, when I wasn’t sure where things were going with us.” Paris asks her if Andre knows about it. “Oh, helllll no. He would lose his damn mind if he found out about that shit. No, thank you. I’m taking that shit to my grave. He won’t ever beat my ass behind no shit like that.”
“So who was this man and where’d you fuck him?” I inquire.
“I met him in Jamaica, fucked him in Jamaica, and left him in Jamaica. Never to be seen again.” She tells us it was during one of her weekend getaways with Pasha. I ask her if she felt bad about cheating on her man. She shakes her head. “You know what. Not really. Like I said, it happened when Andre and I were still new into the relationship. But I definitely wouldn’t do that shit now.” She asks us if we’ve ever cheated in a relationship. Porsha and Paris tell her no.
I skirt around the question by saying, “All cheating ever does is hurt the ones being cheated on. And it requires too much work and telling too many lies.”
“Yes, it does,” Felecia says, tossing back the remainder of her drink. Porsha starts filling her glass before she gets a chance to sit it down on the coffee table good. I hold back a snicker. “Ooh, girl, thanks.” She takes another sip. “This is deeeelicious. This is my first time having the white sangria. Did you make this?”
Porsha shakes her head. “No, Persia did.”
“Girl, you did your thing,” Felecia says, lifting her glass toward me. “Cheers to you, boo.” I smile, raising my glass as well. “I could drink this all night.”
Yeah, ’cause ya ass is a lush. “Thanks. I’m glad you’re enjoying it. Drink up, we have plenty more.” Porsha and Paris smile, patiently waiting along with me for the drinks to finally kick in.
“So tell me,” Felecia says, gulping down the rest of her drink. Okay, this is glass number four; when the hell is she gonna get loose, I think, eyeing Paris on the sly. I mean really. It’s going on almost nine-thirty and this hooker is still talking like she’s been sipping on water all night. Yeah, Aunt Fanny was right. She’s definitely an alcoholic. “When’s the last time any of you had your own man? I mean, one none of you fucked together.” I silently inhale a deep breath. This is not what the hell we invited her ass here for. We tell her it’s been a long while.
“Speaking of Jamaica,” Porsha says, quickly changing the subject. “Did you hear Zane is having some kind of freak-fuck-fest there next week? Word has it she’s rented out a whole resort for the event. And Mr. Marcus himself is gonna be one of the featured guests.”
Felecia perks up in her seat excitedly. “Ohmygod, when?”
“I think it’s like May twelfth to the fifteenth or something like that.”
Felecia pulls out her BlackBerry and starts scrolling through it. “Shit, I musta missed that memo. And I’m usually up on all the happenings. Mmmph. I love me some damn Zane; the two of us are friends in my head.”
“She’s too over-the-top for me,” Paris says. “I mean, some of that stuff she writes about is soooo damn nasty.”
“Girl, please,” Felecia says, fanning herself. “The nastier the better. I’ve freaked Andre’s ass plenty of nights to some of her shit; especially after a night of watching her Zane’s Sex Chronicles on Cinemax. Whew, it was one sexy-ass show. I’m so mad she’s not doing another season. But, anyway…this Jamaica thing sounds like it’s gonna be off the damn hook. I swear I wish I could go. Anything that freaky-ass Zane does is gonna be top-notch.”
“Well, maybe you and Andre should go,” Porsha says. “From what I’ve heard, she still has a few rooms available.” She says Andre would never go for it. That he’s real reserved when it comes to stuff like that. “Well, then, you should take Pasha. It could be her last getaway as a single woman before she goes down the aisle in a few months.”
“I don’t know,” she says thoughtfully. “Pasha’s real different now that she’s had the baby and all. She’s not gonna want to leave him. And Jasper is definitely not gon
na let her ass go off to some Zane event. Not without him.”
I smile, glancing over at Porsha. I wink at her on the sly. “So, how is Pasha, really? We haven’t seen or spoke to her since she’s had the baby. And every time I come down to the shop she’s never there.”
Felecia twists in her seat. Porsha reaches over to fill her glass. Drink number five. “Girl, y’all know how to keep the drinks flowin’; just how I like it. Keep a bitch’s glass full, okay.” She takes a long sip. Finally, her eyes are starting to get that glassy look that lets us know she’s feeling nice. We laugh. “But, umm, Pasha’s good,” she continues, not sounding too convincing.
