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“Of course, you c
an.” He brushed a kiss over her forehead, then leaned forward to the driver. “Do you know somewhere close by where we can have a little privacy?”
The bored cabbie gave him a look in the rearview. “Rainin’.”
“I’m aware.” Simon dug a few crumpled bills out of his pocket and held up two. “Does that buy us anything?”
The guy snatched the bills. “There’s a children’s carousel nearby.” He shrugged. “It’s covered. Old, but you can…” He paused as if he were searching for words. His accent was French and thick. “There’s privacy, yeah?”
Margo laughed.
Simon sat back with a frown marring his brow. “Sounds like the lady is happy with that.”
She wrapped her fingers around Simon’s clenched fist. Was she really going to do this? Finally? Her stomach twisted and for the first time, she wondered if she really was going to throw up. But as they drove toward the rundown little park, a peace stole over her.
The cabbie pulled up beside the warped gate. The ground was chewed up with ancient cobblestones poking between bits of pavement. It reminded her of one of the rides on the boardwalk across from their condo. Kind of perfect.
Simon flashed him another bill. “If you’re still here when we’re done, this is for you.”
“Sounds good to me, crazy American.” The cabbie turned off his light, leaned his seat back a few clicks, and pulled his hat down over his eyes.
“I guess that’s that,” Simon said and opened the door, helping her out into the drizzling rain.
She tipped her head up, letting the wetness coat her cheeks and wash away the tears that had made her face feel tight and dirty. Who knew if she was just one big smear of raccoon eyes at this point, but the rain felt good.
Almost cleansing.
Simon hustled her between the iron gates that were haphazardly guarding the ancient children’s park. There wasn’t much more than a carousel and ticket booth, but it looked well-loved. It was near one of the many bus stops that made up a large part of London’s commuter traffic. She liked to think there were women meeting their husbands or boyfriends after work with the kids and this was the perfect place for a touch of peace in the busy hub of this metropolitan city.
Simon climbed up on the dark carousel, his boots echoing on the warped and rusty metal. He held out a hand to her, pulling her into his arms for a moment. She wasn’t quite ready for that. If he held her, she’d lose her nerve.
Instead, she slipped away and dragged her fingertips over the bridle of the nearest horse. There was just enough light to see thanks to the street lamps and refracted mist of the rain. She smiled. A unicorn. She traced the pads of her finger over the little bit of worn sparkle on the horn, down to the chipped rainbow mane, and calmed for the first time in days.
The horses were a little beaten, the gold scraped from the rope-like poles connecting each horse to the motor. She moved on to the next one. A chocolate one with its feet raised in mid-kick, then another that reminded her of a palomino from her childhood days in the stables.
Another life, one she’d walked away from without a second thought. And hadn’t she ended up right where she needed to be?
Simon followed her. Worry furrowed his forehead and darkened his eyes, but he showed a patience she wasn’t aware he possessed.
“I know this is freaking you out. It’s freaking me out. I’ve gone over this again and again, trying to figure out a way to tell you.”
“Just tell me. You’re scaring the hell out of me. You’re not sick, are you?”
She let him get close enough for her to touch his hand before she backed away again. “No. Nothing like that.”
His jaw did that muscle clench thing that made her insides flutter for unknown reasons. She’d never been the kind of woman who followed the baser instincts of attraction. At least not until Simon.
Which was probably one of the main reasons she was in her current state. Her husband was a strong, virile man. Evidently way more virile than she’d even thought was possible if he managed to sneak by her birth control and plant a little miracle inside of her.
For the first time, it actually felt like a good thing. Maybe it was just the mania of too many babies around her. Or maybe it was her own emotions finally allowing her to bond with the idea of something growing inside her that would forever link her with Simon.
A year ago, the idea of that kind of forever would have driven her to the nearest clinic. But after the conversation with her sister today, it seemed even more important and profound that she’d ended up with this unplanned life change.
She only hoped Simon would feel the same.
Finally, she stopped walking in the circle of crazy doubts with a slightly disturbing bunch of plastic and metal horses staring back at her. She walked toward her husband with his billowing black leather jacket that danced along his thighs in the breeze. She reached back and tugged the band out of her hair so her hair was just as free as his was right then.
The lights from a passing car glowed on his starkly beautiful face. His slivery-blue eyes were pinched with concern and frustration.
