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“Oh, she missed you.”
I made a noncommittal sound.
“She did. She was so used to being in all you kids’ business that she needed an outlet. So…orchids.”
I grunted. “What I said. In my head anyway.”
My aunt laughed. “Yeah, she needed something that wasn’t wrapped around her family. Just like you needed your art to make yourself feel complete.”
“I get that. Just wished I’d gotten a little more of a hug than a scowl.”
She dragged me closer and wrapped her arm around my hip again. “Sarah is always more grumbles.”
“Truth.” I leaned my head against her shoulder for a moment. “Being a grownup sucks. Can I go back to working behind the counter?”
“You know you have a spot in the store whenever you need one, but I don’t think that’s your answer.”
I sighed. “No. It’s not. It never was as much as my parents wish it were so.”
“If you wanted it, you’d be manager of that store. Or even running the lodge. As you well know, it’s becoming quite the busy offshoot of the orchard.”
“And that’s amazing. I just…” How did you tell someone you loved that their thing wasn’t your thing? I’d struggled to do it for most of my teen years.
“You just need more. Same as me when I was a young woman. My parents surely didn’t want me to marry a farmer. But working in an office as a secretary or doing someone’s books was never my ideal job. Then again, I did end up doing the books for a lot of years.” She laughed. “But it was for love. And this orchard was everything I ever wanted. Doesn’t mean it’s what you need.”
“Why are you the wise one?”
“I’m old.”
I laughed. “You are not.”
She tickled my cheek with the end of her white braid. “This says so.”
“Mine’s almost as white already.” I laughed and hugged her tighter. My relationship with my Aunt Laverne had always been less contentious than the one with my mother. I wouldn’t trade either of them away, but my aunt was definitely the less judgmental of the sisters.
“Was it worth it?”
My eyes stung. She always got right to the heart of a conversation. “He was always worth it. I just wish he believed me when I told him.”
“A good woman reminds her man again and again. You think your Uncle Fred doesn’t need a push sometimes?”
“Pushing Ian was never the problem. It was dragging him from the edge that was more our issue.”
“Ah. We all have our demons, Zoe.”
“His demons came with a little extra crazy. I just can’t be the one to save him.” In the end, that was the only thing I could do for him and for me. I’d had to walk away. I had to start over.
“I have to face my own damn demons.” It was the first time I’d said it aloud. The truth of it was achingly apparent. Neither of us had been ready for forever.
“Do you love him?”
“Too much.” I swallowed down the lump in my throat. “Loving him was always easy. Well, when I let it be easy.”
“I wouldn’t rule him out yet, sweetheart. But even if you guys don’t find your way back to one another, you’re better for having known him.”
The trees and leaves blurred as I turned my face into her shoulder. “Yeah, I think so. I just wish it didn’t hurt so much.”
“If it didn’t, it wouldn’t matter.”
