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Molly paused, tempted. “Okay, but maybe we should—”
“—and marshmallows, with a chocolate flake.”
That did it. Molly sped up the lawn toward the house and Izzy followed.
Flora watched them go, part of her wishing she could join them. Her skin was stinging from the cold water and her heart was racing. She felt bedraggled but euphoric.
She’d swum. She’d done it. It was amazing what it had done to her confidence and belief in herself. Right now she felt invincible.
“I couldn’t believe it when I saw you in the lake.” Jack wrapped a towel round her and rubbed her arms. “I can’t remember when I last panicked like that.”
“It was a few hours ago, when you discovered Izzy had gone to the station.”
He gave a laugh. “It’s been a day of drama, that’s for sure.”
“I’m assuming your conversation went well, as you all arrived together.”
“Yes. We talked about a lot of things. Things we should have talked about a long time ago. And I did the same thing with Clare.” He took her hand and tugged her down onto one of the sunloungers. “The only person I haven’t been honest with is you. I don’t mean about the whole Izzy thing—I was being truthful when I told you it’s something I simply don’t think about. But Becca—I didn’t tell you about her, and I owe you an explanation for that. You deserve to know it all.”
“Jack—”
“All I ask is that you listen to what I have to say before you speak, and if at the end of it you decide this isn’t for you then that’s fine. Well, it’s not fine, but I’ll try hard to accept your decision and not pester you to change your mind.” He tugged the towel more firmly around her. “I met Becca in an airport. We were both waiting to board the same flight. We dated for a month before she told me she was pregnant.”
“She pretended it was yours?” No matter what he said, she wasn’t going to be shocked or overreact.
“No.” He shook his head. “Becca was always straight. I think she expected me to walk out. Almost everyone she’d encountered in her life up until that point had walked out at some point or another. She didn’t know consistency or security. She hadn’t known love.”
Flora felt a flash of sympathy. Her childhood had been different, of course. In many ways she’d been lucky, certainly luckier than Becca. But that didn’t change the fact that she understood how it felt to know you were on your own, with no one in your corner.
“She had you.”
“Yes, and I had no intention of walking out. But I’m not sure she ever felt entirely sure of me. She never found it easy living as part of a family. She kept expecting it to fall apart, and when it didn’t she was ready to sabotage it herself.”
Flora listened as he talked, and hiding her shock became more of a challenge when he told her that Becca had left him when Izzy was only three months old. It was hard not to judge, even though she tried not to.
Maybe Becca hadn’t been loved as a child, but she’d been loved as an adult. You could have a bad childhood and still make a good life. Choice came into it.
And that was true for her, too, of course. She could walk away from this, or she could choose to stay.
She carried on listening as Jack told her about the most recent affair.
It was the last thing she would have imagined of the perfect Becca. Except that she hadn’t been perfect, had she? She’d been human, as flawed and individual as every other person.
“She was going to leave me. Us. All of us.”
Flora put her hand on his. “Oh, Jack—” No wonder he’d struggled to talk about it. Who would want to?
But he was talking about it now, and he told her everything, outlined every painful detail of those last months and days, and she listened without interrupting, knowing that there would be time to ask questions later, time to tell him her thoughts and hear his.
“The kids didn’t know—at least I didn’t think they knew, but it turned out that Izzy had overheard her talking on the phone. I had no idea. She didn’t say anything and it didn’t occur to me. She planned to confront her mother about it, but Becca went out that night and never came back. Izzy was left in a horrible position. She assumed I didn’t know and she didn’t want to be the one to tell me. There seemed no point, as Becca was gone anyway.”
“So she’s been carrying this huge secret.” Flora’s heart ached for her.
“Yes.”
The final pieces of the puzzle slotted into place. “She knew her mother was leaving you, and she thought that would have been the end of your relationship, too.”
“Her thinking wasn’t as clear as that initially. She was in shock, devastated by the loss but angry with her mother. And it ate away at her feelings of security. She started to feel guilty, as if she was somehow responsible for her mother’s actions. She thought that I would no longer want her.”
