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‘But you don’t need me. Practice nurses are two a penny, Mark.’ She pinned her gaze on a small passenger ferry rather than look at him. ‘You’ll find someone else.’
‘I don’t want to find anyone else.’ Suddenly he sounded incredibly tired and she wondered why having to find a new practice nurse should bother him so much. It didn’t make sense.
‘I can’t stay,’ she said finally, moistening dry lips with the tip of her tongue. His recruitment problems weren’t her concern. ‘It’s out of the question. You must know that.’
There was a long silence and with a low curse he closed the distance between them, putting his hands on her arms and turning her to face him. ‘Because of the night we spent together?’
She swallowed and looked away, blinking back tears. So, did she tell him the truth or not? Did she take this opportunity to open her heart to him for the last time, or did she hold back her feelings?
‘No,’ she said finally, ‘not just because of that.’
His fingers tightened on her arms. ‘Why, then?’
‘Because things have totally changed between us and I can’t bear it!’ She lifted her hands helplessly and gritted her teeth. She wasn’t going to cry. She wasn’t. ‘We’ve been friends for so many years, Mark, and suddenly you can’t even bear to be in the same room as me.’
His hands dropped to his sides and his eyes were wary. ‘That’s not true—’
‘It is true!’ She turned on her heel and walked away from him, wrapping her arms round her body in a protective gesture. ‘I walk into a room, you leave it. You stay late in the surgery. You sail whenever you have a spare five minutes. We never go out together. You name it, we don’t do it any more. I can’t carry on like this.’
There was a long silence and she could sense his gaze on her as she waited for his reaction.
‘So what happens to our friendship?’ His voice was hoarse and she turned to face him, her green eyes full of sadness.
‘I don’t know. I thought that what we had would last for ever. I thought that nothing could ever damage our friendship.’ She forced the words past the enormous lump in her throat. ‘But I was wrong.’
He exhaled sharply. ‘Holly—’
‘Answer me one question Mark.’ She lifted her chin bravely and stared him straight in the eye. ‘Why did one night of sex kill a lifetime of friendship? I’ve asked myself the question over and over again and I can’t come up with a reasonable answer.’
His flinched visibly and when he spoke his voice was rough. ‘Sex always changes things, Holly.’
‘No.’ She shook her head vigorously. ‘I know that’s not true. You’ve slept with plenty of women and stayed friends with them.’
The skin darkened over his angular cheekbones. ‘Holly, for goodness’ sake...’
‘Well, it’s true,’ she said awkwardly, blushing furiously. ‘And you’ve definitely been to bed with women you haven’t been in
love with because you’ve told me so.’
‘I obviously talk too much,’ Mark muttered, raking long fingers through his dark hair and looking decidedly uncomfortable. ‘Is there a point to this character assassination?’
‘It isn’t a character assassination.’ She swallowed hard, thoroughly embarrassed. ‘I just thought that men were supposed to be different from women. I thought that men could have sex without emotional involvement. I thought they could separate the physical from the emotional.’
Mark took a deep breath. ‘Well, I suppose that’s true sometimes, but I don’t see—’
‘So why did one night of sex ruin our friendship?’ Holly took a deep breath and faced him bravely. ‘Why weren’t you able to just treat it as a one off physical experience? Was it because I was the one who seduced you? Were you angry because you didn’t really want to—’
His hand dropped to his side and he stared at her in stunned amazement. ‘You seduced me?’ He looked dazed and shook his head slightly. ‘You think you seduced me?’
She bit her lip, her cheeks scarlet as she remembered her own behaviour. How she’d touched him, reached for him, tempted him when he’d hesitated... ‘Of course I seduced you. I was the one who kissed you.’
‘Only after I’d kissed you a hundred times first,’ Mark muttered, his breathing slightly uneven.
‘That was different,’ she said quietly. ‘You were kissing me because we had an audience.’
‘Like hell I was.’ There was a long pause and he took a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly. When he opened them his expression was calm and resigned. ‘I didn’t kiss you because we had an audience, Holly. I kissed you because I was dying to kiss you. I kissed you because I couldn’t stop myself.’
She stared at him, her eyes wide, her heart suddenly pounding wildly in her chest.
