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While their drinks were brewing, he cut doorstep slices from a loaf of multigrain bread and toasted them, then added slices of cheese and put them under the grill until it bubbled.
‘One latte,’ he said, handing her a mug of coffee made just the way she liked it, ‘and cheese on toast. And we’re going to eat on the sofa.’ He smiled at her. ‘It’s the best comfort food I know, apart from Eleni’s chicken soup.’
‘Thanks. That was fabulous,’ she said when she’d finished a little later.
‘It was common-or-garden cheese on toast,’ he replied with a wry smile. ‘Nothing special.’
‘But I didn’t have to make it. Which means it tasted even better.’
‘Thank you. I think.’ He took her plate and empty mug.
‘Theo, you don’t have to wait on me.’ She followed him out to the kitchen. ‘And as you cooked, I’ll do the washing-up. It’ll stop me feeling guilty,’ she said, pre-empting the protest she sensed he was about to make.
He shrugged. ‘If you insist.’
‘I do.’
Except when she was drying up one of the mugs, it slipped from her fingers. And as soon as it hit the ceramic-tiled floor, it smashed into tiny shards.
‘Oh, no. I’m sorry. I…’
‘It was an accident, Maddie,’ he said gently, touching her cheek with the backs of his fingers. ‘Don’t worry. It’s not a problem. I’ll sort it out.’
Within seconds, it seemed, he had the shards swept up, wrapped in newspaper and deposited in the bin.
‘I’m so sorry, Theo.’
‘Stop apologising. It’s all right.’ He took her hands and drew her out of the kitchen, then slid his arms round her. ‘We’ve both had one of those days when everything feels out of kilter—and right now I think you could do with a hug.’
She could see the bleakness in his eyes; she had a feeling that he was voicing his own needs, too. So she slid her arms round him, rested her cheek against his chest and held him close. For a moment he seemed to freeze, and then he rested his cheek against the top of her head, letting her comfort him as he was comforting her.
Madison had no idea how long they stayed like that, just holding each other and drawing strength from each other’s nearness. And it felt so good.
Though, at the same time, she knew she was just compounding her errors. The longer she remained in his arms, the harder it would be to leave them.
‘I ought to go.’
‘No.’ He rested his cheek against his hair. ‘I’ve missed you this last week.’
Had she heard that right? ‘You missed me?’
He nodded. ‘I’ve missed chatting to you over lunch. I’ve missed playing tourist with you.’
He meant as friends, she knew. She dragged in a breath. ‘Theo. About this friendship thing. I’m not sure I can do it any more.’
‘Neither can I.’
She pulled back slightly so she could look him in the eye. ‘So what are you suggesting, exactly?’
He surprised her by admitting, ‘I’ve told myself for years that I don’t want marriage and children. I don’t want to take the risk of losing someone I love, the way my father lost my mother.’
‘Even though your dad was brave enough to take that risk with your stepmum?’ she asked softly.
He inclined his head. ‘I guess I’m a coward.’
‘No. Just blaming yourself for something that wasn’t your fault.’ She reached up to stroke his face. ‘Plus there’s the fact that medicine’s always advancing. We can do things now that we couldn’t do five years ago, let alone thirty-five. Maybe if you’d been born now, the obstetrician could’ve made a difference for your mum.’
‘Maybe.’ He dragged in a breath. ‘I’ve really missed you, Maddie. This last week, being without you…I’ve hated it.’
‘You said you could only offer me friendship,’ she reminded him.
‘I was trying to be unselfish. Giving you the chance to find someone who could offer you everything you want—everything you deserved but which I couldn’t give you.’ He looked rueful. ‘But I think I’ve learned that I’m not always right. That sometimes I can be very stupid.’
‘So where does that leave us now?’
‘I want you, Maddie,’ he said simply. ‘And you’re the only woman I’ve ever met who’s made me want to break my personal rule.’ He raised her hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss against the palm. ‘You know that phone call I made?’
She nodded.
‘It was to a florist’s—I’d ordered some flowers this morning. For you. But after the day we’ve had, it didn’t seem the right moment to give them to you, so I put them on hold until tomorrow. And I was planning to make you a special dinner to apologise. All puddings. Strawberry soup as a starter, pilaf with almonds and cinnamon and apricots for the main course—Oh, and crème brûlée.’ His eyes crinkled at the corners. ‘Though, given that you order backwards, I should’ve said that all the other way round.’
