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“That was me.” Suzanne forced the words past dry lips. She knew the increase in her pulse rate had nothing to do with her illness. “I was the only survivor. I was the one they were interested in. I knew about you, but I didn’t know your name. I asked about you. I asked Trudy, but—”
She was suddenly drenched in sweat and she knew it had nothing to do with the flu.
She could still hear Trudy Whittaker’s voice as she’d hurled grief-laden accusations at Suzanne.
How were you the only one left alive? How did you manage to save yourself and not my sister?
She’d asked the same questions of herself, but that didn’t make them easier to hear.
It was clear from the look in Luke’s eyes that he knew the details. “Trudy died a couple of years ago.”
Suzanne took a breath. “She blamed me. She thought it was my fault.”
“Which it wasn’t.” Stewart shifted closer and put his arm round her. “You know it wasn’t.”
“My aunt knew that, too.” Luke was calm. “For years afterward, she’d talk about it. How she’d been so torn apart with grief that she’d taken it all out on you. She’d wanted someone to blame, and you were the only one left alive.”
“If there was blame,” Stewart said, “it should have been laid squarely at Rob’s door.”
Luke nodded. “I know.”
That wasn’t the reaction Suzanne had been expecting. “How can you know?”
“Because over the years I’ve talked to people. Done some research. There are people out there that knew him. Climbed with him. Rob had a reputation for pushing it further than was safe. He wasn’t just daring, he was reckless. He took risks. There were plenty who wouldn’t climb with him.”
Stewart pushed his plate away. “Suzanne wouldn’t have climbed with him, either, if it hadn’t been for Cheryl.”
“So basically you’re saying that our dad killed your dad,” Beth said in a small voice. The fierceness had been replaced by uncertainty.
“Enough.” Suzanne pulled away from Stewart. She had to deal with this. She had to handle it. “Rob was their father. We shouldn’t be talking about this.”
“I’d like to talk about it.” Posy’s cheeks were as white as the snow that lay beyond the window. “Is it true?”
“It’s true.” This time it was Hannah who spoke and they all turned to look at her. “I used to hear them talking. Mom used to say, I want you to promise me you’ll turn back, Rob, if the weather turns, and he’d shrug her off and refuse to promise anything of the sort. She’d say, You’re a father now, and he’d say, I’m the man you married.”
And that, Suzanne thought, sounded exactly like Rob.
“So Beth is right. He killed them all,” Posy said flatly, and Suzanne leaned forward.
“No, honey. The truth is sometimes these things just happen. There weren’t any red flags that day. If there had been, I would have turned back. There were niggles, that’s all. Things that didn’t feel right, but to be honest that was probably more about the way we were all feeling. There were tensions in the group, but I don’t believe those tensions played a part in the accident. In the end we were in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“But you wouldn’t have been in the wrong place at the wrong time if it hadn’t been for my father.”
Hannah straightened her shoulders. “Ninety percent of avalanches are a result of human triggers.”
The fact that Hannah knew that statistic even though she had no interest in mountains said a lot about the trauma she’d suffered.
Beth turned to Luke. “I’m sorry you lost your parents. But why would you come here and not say who you were? Why not just be straight from the beginning?”
“I wasn’t sure how to approach it. It’s the reason I contacted you first, and not Suzanne. I wanted to talk to you about the right way to do it. That accident traumatized a lot of people, my aunt included. She behaved badly. She hurt you, and I didn’t want to waltz in here and add to that hurt.” He look
ed at Suzanne. “I know this apology comes decades too late, but she was ashamed of the way she spoke to you that day. She wanted to reach out herself and apologize, but she didn’t know how. She knew she’d caused you a great deal of anguish and she thought by getting in touch she might reopen the wound and make it worse. And that’s the reason I didn’t want to show up here without warning. I wanted to take my time and work out how much damage I’d do by suddenly appearing after all these years. I arrived here, expecting to stay a week at the most, but I fell in love with the barn, the place and—” he paused “—the life you have here.”
Suzanne had a feeling he’d been about to say I fell in love with Posy.
It seemed like hours ago that she’d been wondering about their relationship, not minutes.
She glanced down at the food congealing on her plate.
