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She gave a watery smile. ‘You think that if I tell you the whole sordid story then I’ll feel better?’
Joel shrugged helplessly. ‘I don’t know. Perhaps it’s worth a try.’
Lucy looked at him and then walked over to the window and stared out into the darkness, her eyes fixed on the lights of the fishing boats. ‘When we were children we were next-door neighbours. We played together all the time. I suppose you could say that we were inseparable.’
‘So he was the boy next door?’
‘Literally.’ Lucy nodded and hugged the dressing-gown closer. ‘Everyone assumed we’d marry and that’s exactly what we did. As soon as we both finished training.’
‘Training? What did he do?’
‘He was a nurse, too, but we weren’t at the same hospital.’ She sniffed quietly and rummaged in her pocket for a tissue. ‘So, anyway, we did as everyone expected and married, and then we had Sam almost straight away. And it was pretty hard because Tim didn’t earn enough on a nurse’s salary and I had to go back to work, too.’
‘Were you happy?’
She turned to look at him, her expression considering. ‘I thought I was, but now, looking back, I’m not so sure. I’d known Tim for so long that it was impossible to imagine life without him. When he left my whole world fell apart, especially when I saw what it did to Sam.’ She shook her head and looked at him blankly. ‘Why did he have to do it that way? Why couldn’t he just have sat me down in a civilised way and told me how he felt? At least then we could have prepared Sam together so that he didn’t feel so rejected.’
‘He seems like a pretty well-adjusted little boy to me,’ Joel said quietly. ‘I’d say you’ve done a damn good job bringing him up on your own. I didn’t realise that you married the first man you met. Was he really your only relationship?’
She nodded slowly. ‘Hard to believe, really, isn’t it? Shall I tell you something funny?’ She gave a short laugh and bit her lip. ‘I’ve only ever kissed one man in my life. Just Tim. I’ve never even kissed anyone else. Can you imagine that?’
‘Not really.’ He shook his head and gave a faint smile. ‘Weren’t you ever curious as to how it would be with someone else?’
There was a long silence and he felt his pulse rate increase as her eyes locked with his.
‘No…’
Something in her eyes told him that she was lying.
And suddenly he couldn’t help himself. He walked across the room towards her, his eyes never leaving hers for a moment.
‘You’ve never once wondered what it would feel like to be kissed by another man?’
Her lips parted and he saw her breathing quicken.
‘Never, Lucy?’
He cupped her face in his hands, his eyes dropping to her soft, pink mouth. He’d wanted to kiss her for so long, the tension was almost unbearable.
He lowered his head, waiting for her to pull away,
but she didn’t. She didn’t speak at all. She just stood, immobile, her small hands clenched by her sides, her eyes trapped by his.
And then, incredibly gently, his mouth found hers.
Forcing himself to exercise restraint, he kept the strength of his desire firmly reined in, concentrating instead on exploring every millimetre of her mouth.
With a thrill of triumph he felt her hands creep slowly up to his chest and then slide tentatively around the back of his neck.
Still keeping one hand behind her head, he slid the other one down her back, pulling her gently against him, letting her feel what she did to him. He felt a shiver run through her body and knew that, whatever he was feeling, she was feeling it, too.
His hand slid over the full curve of her bottom and he deepened the kiss, knowing that he was fighting a losing battle with his will-power. He was fast discovering that he didn’t want to hold back. He wanted to discover more of Lucy. He wanted everything she had to give.
But it was too soon, of course.
Realising that if he didn’t stop torturing them both he’d be in trouble, Joel summoned up his flagging will-power and lifted his head.
Immediately her eyes opened and she dipped her head, her forehead resting gently on his chest.
