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Brigit leaned back in her chair and gave a sigh thick with regret. “I caused worse heartache by having things come out the way they did,” Brigit continued in a quieter tone. “I know that. I have to live with that—knowing I hurt you and Derry and Lincoln. I live with that every day, every hour. I’m not asking you to alleviate that pain, because no one can. That’s my burden to bear.”
“Lincoln forgave you,” Deidre blurted out, surprising herself.
Brigit nodded slowly.
“You knew?” Deidre whispered.
“He contacted me after you went to his house in South Lake and told him what Liam had discovered.”
“What did Lincoln say?”
“Just what you said. That he forgave me for what I’d done. And that...”
“What?” Deidre prompted when Brigit’s voice faded.
“That he wanted to see me again,” said Brigit, now staring out the breakfast nook windows toward the vast lake.
“Did you? See him again?” Deidre asked, dazed. Surely she would have known if her mother had come to The Pines while she was there.
Brigit blinked and met her stare. “I never spoke with Lincoln. Not once since I left him years ago in Lake Tahoe. I never broke that vow to myself. He left a message on my answering machine at the house a few months back. That’s how I knew he’d forgiven me.”
“You wanted to see him, didn’t you?”
“Of course I did,” Brigit replied with a sad smile.
“Why didn’t you go then?”
Brigit sighed, seeming to search for the words. It struck Deidre her mother was having difficulty expressing herself because she’d never spoken her feelings aloud.
How lonely she must be.
“Lincoln was my dear friend. He loved me unconditionally. I didn’t deserve that. Not after I refused to see him again and reconcil
ed with Derry. Not after I’d deprived him of you.”
Deidre stared. Her mother was saying she believed it was her punishment to be deprived of the unconditional love of a man who had always adored her. Part of Deidre agreed with Brigit’s self-imposed penance. Another part ached for her mother so much it nearly stole her breath.
Brigit touched her hand again. “Something Lincoln said in the message he left a few months back made me think he’d accepted you as his child.”
“He did,” Deidre whispered. “He’s made me his heir, to his fortune and to his company, along with Nick Malone.”
Brigit gasped.
“You truly loved Lincoln, didn’t you?” Deidre asked, reading the truth in her mother’s startled expression and haunted eyes.
Brigit gripped at her hand, and Deidre found herself clutching back this time. “I loved both Derry and Lincoln, but not in the same way. Derry was my soul mate, my only true love. But Lincoln was unwaveringly loyal, the dearest friend of my heart. He understood me, maybe better than Derry ever could. It would have been a comfort to bask in Lincoln’s love and forgiveness. But it just wasn’t meant to be.
“What’s between us is different, Deidre,” Brigit said after a tense silence.
“How so?”
“I could punish myself further by forsaking the incomparable treasure of a daughter. Maybe I would, if it weren’t for one thing. You need me. I can’t imagine how distraught you must be feeling following Lincoln’s death, and then to find out this huge thing—that he’s made you his heir. You must be overwhelmed,” Brigit said feelingly. “A mother is the thing that grounds us, reminds us of who we are. I know I haven’t been that for you for a long, long time, but I want to be that for you again, Deidre. I’ve never known a young woman who needed a loving mother more. And I do love you,” she said hoarsely, her gaze entreating. “Please know that. I feel like a part of myself was cut away when you left my life all those years ago.”
Emotion swelled in Deidre, clogging her throat. She stood abruptly, but Brigit tightened her hold on her hand, halting her.
“You returned to Harbor Town. Isn’t everything we had before all the tragedy enough for us to at least begin talking again? I know I’m far from perfect. I’ve made terrible mistakes. But you’re my daughter. I’m your mother. Can’t we try to start anew?”
The teakettle continued to wail. Deidre started and swiped her hand over a damp cheek. She broke contact with her mother and moved toward the stove.
