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“Look, I’m not going to sit here and say my goodbyes. I’m confident enough that it won’t come to that, but at the same time, what happens if something does go wrong and I leave things unsaid?” He gave a hollow laugh. “I could probably write a pretty fucking good song right about now. But I’ve been sitting here thinking about Mack. His girlfriend was working an extra shift the night of the crash. That means he didn’t call her the day he died. He hadn’t talked to his parents for a few days, and he’d had some stupid argument with his brother that he hadn’t sorted out yet. And now he can’t fix it. Now there is a bunch of people he knew who missed out on hearing his voice telling them the things he needed to tell them. People who didn’t get a chance to remind him that they loved him.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat as his words sank in to my brain, my heart aching for Mack’s family, especially his brother who I knew he loved very much.
“I know where this conversation is going, Drew,” I whispered. “I’ll fix it, I promise.”
He shook his head. “Listen. Ellie was wrong. We were both wrong. I was so close to calling you and telling you to come back on the tour because Jason was missing you, although right now, I am so damn pleased I didn’t. Luce, this thing with you and Jason. Go with it. Do what you want to do. I’m sorry we weren’t more supportive. It made sense to us at the time to try to protect you, but right now, all I want to do is tell you to forget about what everyone is saying and just… be happy. Be with Jason and be happy.”
Tears fell down my cheeks, and instead of speaking, I sat back down on the bed and wrapped my arms around him, sobbing into his chest. Drew gently stroked my hair and I clung to him, relieved, scared, happy, heartbroken. So many things on my mind that I couldn’t begin to voice them. This man – my future brother-in-law – had always been one of the kindest men I knew. Sure, he looked intimidating with his ridiculous height and chunky build, but he really was a teddy bear. The idea of him not being around was unfathomable.
But he would be okay. He would.
The sound of the door opening made me sit up and wipe my eyes, and Jason peered around the door. He glanced from me to Drew then back again, his own eyes filling up a little at the scene he’d walked in on. Then he gave his trademark grin. “Making my girlfriend cry? You should be bloody ashamed of yourself. ”
Even Drew gave into a laugh as Jason entered the room, and I rose from the bed to allow him to sit beside his brother. I sat in the chair beside the bed. After a moment, Drew and Jason hugged each other, and I had to try hard to stop myself crying again.
“How are you feeling?” Jason asked as they let go of each other.
Drew blew out a breath. “I feel as okay as I can under the circumstances, I think. You?”
He shrugged then reached over to hold my hand, giving me a smile, the kind of smile I felt in every part of me. “You know me… I’m just taking everything a step at a time.”
“Have you been in touch with Alex?”
“Not yet. I don’t feel like I need to at the moment. I’ll call him if I need to. I feel a lot better now you’re awake, and now Lucy’s here.”
He squeezed my hand, and as he did so, the door opened again. Ellie stood in the doorway, her hair a huge tangle of curls, her face still ghostly white with shadows beneath her eyes. Jason let go of my hand and shuffled back a little, putting some distance between us. He sat up straighter, bracing himself for more harsh words. Ellie walked into the room and stood in front of me. She stared at me for a moment than grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet, crushing me against her.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered as she clung to me. “I’m so sorry.”
She placed her hands on my shoulders and gently moved me back slightly so she could look at me. Again, she stared, as if she was seeing me for the first time in forever. “Since you left the hospital, I couldn’t stop thinking about what you said. About how… how you could have been on the bus too. How we could have lost you, and you wouldn’t have known how much I love you.”
I shook my head. “I never doubted that, Ellie. I understood why you acted the way you did, I just didn’t like the way you went about it.”
“I’m done, Luce. I don’t think I’ll ever stop worrying, but I promise I won’t interfere, or make you think I’m not here for you.” She let go of me and turned to Jason. For a second, it was like time stood still as they surveyed each other. I held my breath, waiting for one of them to speak. Ellie took a small step towards him but Jason didn’t move. His posture was still rigid, because even though she’d apologised to me, it wasn’t clear whether we truly had her blessing.
“Jase.” Ellie took a deep breath and lowered her head for a second. “As crappy as I’ve been as a sister, I think I’ve been an even worse friend. I’ve been no better than the damn press with the way I’ve acted towards you. I wasn’t fair to you, and I have no excuse for that. Being worried about Lucy is not a good enough reason for freaking out as much as I did. I’m just hoping we’ve been friends for long enough that we can…” She stopped and a tear dripped down her cheek.
That was all Jason needed.
He stood up and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on the top of her head. “I get it, Ellie. I know who I am, and I know the things I’ve been capable of in the past. I’ve had more than enough second chances, and I’ve blown almost all of them. For the last year, I’ve worked so hard to get
where I am now, and I’m not giving that up. Not for anything. But you also have to understand that I’m not giving Lucy up, either. I want a chance with her, and that’s not up for debate. I would really like it if you’d give us a chance too.”
Again, the room fell silent as we waited for Ellie’s answer. She didn’t speak for a while, but she didn’t let go of Jason either. She held him tightly; her best friend in the whole world. I understood all the reasons this was hard for her, and I understood that the two of them would always have a bond I would never be a part of, or even remotely comprehend. Maybe I should have been a little jealous of that the way Drew used to be. How could I be jealous of something so special, though? Their closeness had no bearing on the way he and I felt about each other, and as I held my breath again, I hoped Ellie would come through for us. Tell us what we both needed to hear.
“I can do that,” she said, softly, so quietly I almost didn’t hear her.
Jason placed a kiss on her cheek. “Thank you.”
Releasing the breath I’d held, I stood up and hugged Ellie again, thanking her without words. Jason sat down in the chair I’d vacated then pulled me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me, as Ellie sat on the bed beside Drew. The heaviness in Jason’s eyes had almost completely lifted, and I was sure my own reflected his. I flicked my gaze towards Drew and Ellie, and Drew looked equally as relieved that one of his concerns had been eased. We all had a long way to go until everything was right in our world, but we’d taken the first step.
We’d taken it together.
Epilogue
“Well, well, well,” Jason snaked his arms around me on the dance floor. “I don’t think today could have gone any better.”
I reached up, wrapping my arms around his neck, smiling. “I think you’re right.”
