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The frown on his face added another layer of guilt to my already highly stacked pile of remorse, and I tried to make my smile more genuine. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see him, I’d just been lost in my thoughts again.
“Are you okay?” he asked. “Can I get you anything?”
I shook my head then nodded in the direction of the bar. “Bryce is getting me some water. Thanks, though.”
Miguel followed my gaze to Bryce, who was walking towards us with our drinks. A brief flicker of something resembling disappointment crossed his face and I peered at him curiously.
“Do you wanna sit?” I asked as he swivelled his eyes back to mine.
“No, I’m good. I need to get warmed up, I just wanted to say hey and check you’re okay. I’ll see you later.”
He gave a cool guy wave to Bryce then headed towards the exit as Bryce placed our drinks on the table.
My eyebrows pulled together as Miguel’s retreating form disappeared through the swinging doors. Still not recovered from my mini meltdown, my mind reeled at Miguel’s unusual behaviour. It wasn’t like him to leave without chatting for at least a few minutes, especially when I wasn’t at my best. I wanted my friends to start treating me normally again, but him walking away so fast was not normal at all.
I didn’t get much of a chance to talk to Miguel for the rest of the day, and trying to decipher his actions kept my mind occupied. Of course, I had a few gut-twisting moments when I looked around for Will, only to remember he wasn’t there and I had to take a time out to pull myself together. My team mates were awesome for letting me do what I needed to do, and everyone, even Radleigh, checked on me throughout the day. Miguel hadn’t ignored me, but his distance was strange, especially since we’d talked things through the day before and, as far as I knew, we were cool. With him taking a step back, the weight of loss seemed heavier than ever. Selfish as it sounds, even when I’d avoided him, knowing Miguel was there was like having a safety net to fall into when I needed to crash. This was probably how he felt when you shut him out.
The echoes of the things he’d yelled at me rang in my ears, reminding me what a self-involved bitch I’d been.
“You okay over there?” Bryce asked, briefly turning his head in my direction before turning his attention back to the road. Since he’d been the one to drive me to work, he had to drive me home again too, and I’d been in a world of my own from the moment I sat in the passenger seat.
“Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.”
The corners of his lips curled upwards. “Liar. What’s up? You did good today. Really good.”
I nodded slowly. “I got through it. It should only get easier from now on, right?”
“Yup. For sure. So why are you so quiet?”
I shifted my gaze towards him for a second. “I slept with Miguel.”
For the second time, Bryce’s head turned to me, and I screamed at him as he drove too close to the car in front. Bryce slammed hard on the brakes, stopping the car just in time to prevent it re-arranging the back end of the car ahead of us.
“Jesus!” I placed my hand over my hammering heart. “That was close.”
“I’m sorry.” Bryce’s shoulders heaved from the near miss. “But don’t break news like that to me while I’m driving.”
I hadn’t meant to blurt it out, especially not so matter-of-factly. The words spilled from my lips as if they’d been waiting for a chance to escape. Maybe I’d been desperate to tell someone all day. I didn’t know if Bryce was the right person, but he could keep a secret.
Nothing more was said until Bryce parked outside my apartment. He turned the engine off, unclipped his seatbelt and turned around as far as he could to face me. “Do you want to run that by me again? Because I could have sworn you said you slept with Miguel.”
I unclipped my own seatbelt and nodded. “That’s what I said.”
“When?”
“Friday night.”
“So, I guess you sorted things out.”
I drew my eyebrows together. “How do you mean?”
“Come on, Freya. We’ve all noticed you’ve been avoiding him. Even when we’re all together you’ve kept as far away from him as possible.”
I hadn’t realised I’d made it so obvious which made me feel worse than I already did about the way I’d treated Miguel. When he’d yelled at me the night before, he’d crashed through all my barriers, tore away the protective layer I’d hidden behind, and pierced my heart with his cries. The memory of the moment he broke down sent a shiver through my body; a reminder of how broken we both were.
“We talked,” I said, simply.
“How did this happen?”
