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After taking a nap for a couple of hours, I forced myself to take a shower, and attempted to make myself look presentable. Where was Bree when I needed her? Even before she studied to be a make-up artist, she could easily have hidden the dark circles under my eyes, but after training, she could probably have made me look like Keira Knightley. I made a mental note to ask her for some tips next time I saw her then set about attempting to cover the darkness myself.
I arrived at the club, reminding myself of all the reasons I was there. I hadn’t done the clubbing thing for a while, and not without Will, but being out in a social situation felt somehow easier than being at work. Maybe because I knew my pay check didn’t depend on me staying.
The first person I spotted was Miguel; his crazy afro always made him easy to find in a crowd. I walked in the direction of his fuzzy hair, the bass pounding through me with each step, and saw Bree, Jude, Bryce and Jesse sitting at the table with him.
Bryce hopped up to greet me. He gave me a hug which I returned, then he took my jacket and hung it on the back of the free chair. “Glad you came,” he said, smiling.
I wasn’t quite ready to say I was glad too, but I returned his smile and we both sat down as we all chorused our hellos.
“Can I get you a drink?” Jude asked.
I paused for a second, contemplating just how bad the day had been. It wasn’t that I hadn’t had a drink over the last few months, just that during my worst moments, I refused to reach for the bottle as a way to numb out the pain. I refused to become the person who drowned her heart in alcohol to stop it hurting. I’d found myself clinging onto some measures of control to stop me spiralling any farther, and for all my disappointment in myself for wallowing for so long, I was proud I’d at least managed not to go down that road, however tempted I might have been sometimes.
“A white wine spritzer, please.” Two glasses, no more.
“How’d work go today, babe?” Bree shuffled her chair towards mine so we could hear each other better.
“Better, but not good.”
“Jude said you met Ethan.”
Her gaze held mine, sympathy heavy in her green eyes. Maybe that was part of the problem. I knew I was still fragile but with everyone continuing to treat me like I might fall apart at any second it was harder to move on. My friends’ pity was a constant reminder, and although well-meaning and appreciated – I knew I was lucky to have such amazing people in my life – it wasn’t helping me to push through.
“Yeah, I did. He seems like a good guy.”
Bree nodded slowly, still with that same expression on her face. “Must have been weird though.”
“A little, but it’s done now and I’m sure he’ll be great to work with. You know, if I can stop being a total wimp every time I get to the training ground.”
“It’s to be expected. Just… promise me you’ll keep talking to us if you need to, okay?”
I smiled. Bree had grown up a whole lot recently. She’d never been immature exactly, but her bouncy, bubbly nature gave people a certain impression: that she was an airhead. She and Jude had been through a rough patch in their marriage right before Will died, and although nobody had completely filled me in on what happened, she’d definitely changed because of it. I’d learned a lot about Bree’s past every time it was her turn to check on me. That girl knew a thing or two about grieving herself, and she’d helped me in ways I’d never be able to thank her for.
“Enough about me,” I said, straightening up. “What’s new with you guys?”
My friends exchanged glances, as if they weren’t sure whether to tell, and I sighed. “Guys, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, and how patient you’ve been. We all know I’m not really okay and I won’t be for a while but I need you to help me. Even though you’ve been here for me, I’ve missed you. I’ve missed out on bits of your lives and I want to catch up a little. You can still talk to me, you know?”
Bree’s lips curved into a grin and her eyes sparkled proudly. “I’ll go first,” she said, bouncing up and down in her seat, making us laugh.
“Shoot.”
“Okay, so, I’ve been working hard, studying make-up artistry, and it’s so, so cool, you guys! I mean, I thought I knew a lot about make-up but…”
Ah-ha. There was the Bree I knew and loved. She’d grown up, but when she was excited, she was still… Bree. We listened to her happy chatter, and while she spoke, Jude came back with my drink. He beamed with pride listening to his wife, proving they were well and truly back on track.
“Will you do my make-up sometime?” I asked her.
“Hell yeah!”
“Mine too?” Bryce asked, making us laugh again.
She reached over and playfully touched his cheek. “You got it, beautiful.”
“How about you, Jesse?” I asked, turning to him. He’d been a little out of the loop too since he was out of action for the season. The good news was, his knee was healing well and wouldn’t cause any long term issues, but he’d really missed playing and training. Soccer came as naturally to him as breathing, and being without it had been a struggle for him. Unlike me, he happily sat at the training ground, watching everyone as they worked. Being at the edge of everything, not in the cen
tre with his buddies wasn’t the same, but it was better than not being there at all.
“I have good news.” Jesse grinned.
