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Not much, apparently. The distance between them was nearly palpable. Viv normally had this vibe of openness about her as if she’d never met a stranger and he could talk to her about anything. Which he had, many times. Since he’d laid down the law about what kind of marriage they could have in that desperate bid to stop the inevitable, there might as well have been an impenetrable steel wall between them.
Good. That was perfect. Exactly what he’d hoped for.
He hated it.
This purgatory was exactly what he deserved, though. If Viv wasn’t being her beautiful, kind, amazing self, there was no chance of his emotions engaging. Or rather, engaging further. He was pretty sure there was a little something already stirring around inside. Okay a lot of something, but if he could hold on to that last 50 percent, he could still look Warren and Hendrix in the eye next time they were in the same room.
If he could just cast aside his honor, all of this would be so much easier.
Seoul’s Incheon Airport spread out beneath them in all its dazzling silvery glory, welcoming him back to Korea. He appreciated the birthplace of his father and the homeland of his grandfather. Seoul was a vibrant city rich in history with friendly people who chattered in the streets as they passed. It was cosmopolitan in a way that Raleigh could never be, but Jonas preferred the more laid-back feel of his own homeland.
“It’s beautiful,” Viv commented quietly as the limo Grandfather had sent wound through the streets thronged with people and vehicles.
“I’ll take you a few places while we’re here,” he offered. “You shouldn’t miss Gyeongbokgung Palace.”
They could walk through Insa-dong, the historic neighborhood that sold art and food, then maybe breeze by the Seoul Tower. He could perfectly envision the delighted smile on her face as she discovered the treasures of the Eastern world that comprised a portion of his lineage. Maybe he’d even find an opportunity to take her hand as they strolled, and he could pretend everything was fine between them.
But Viv was already shaking her head. “You don’t have to do that. I don’t need souvenirs. You’re here for your grandfather and I’m here for you.”
That made him feel like crap. But it was an inescapable fact that she’d come because he needed her. Warmth crowded into his chest as he gazed at her, the beauty of Seoul rushing past the limousine window beyond the glass.
“Why?” he asked simply, too overcome to be more articulate.
Her gaze sought his, and for a brief moment, her normal expressiveness spilled onto her face. Just as quickly, she whisked it away. “No matter what, you’re still my friend.”
The sentiment caught in his throat. Her sacrifice and the unbelievable willingness to be there for him would have put him on his knees if he wasn’t already sitting down. Still might. It didn’t make any sense for her to be so unselfish with her time, her body, her cupcakes even without some gain other than the righteous promise of friendship. “I don’t believe that’s the whole reason.”
A tiny frown marred her gorgeous mouth and he wished he could kiss it away. But he didn’t move. This was something he should have questioned before they got on the plane.
“Is this another conversation about how you don’t trust me?” she asked in a small voice.
Deserved that. He shook his head. “This is not a trust issue. It’s that I don’t understand what you’re getting out of all of this. I’ve always wondered. I promised you that I would help you with your business since you claimed that as your passion. Then you politely declined all the success my efforts have produced. I give you the option to leave and you don’t take it. Friendship doesn’t seem like enough of a motivator.”
Guilt crowded through her gaze. What was that all about? But she looked away before he got confirmation that it was indeed guilt, and he had a burning need to understand all at once.
The vows he’d taken with Warren and Hendrix after Marcus’s death seemed like a pinky swear on the playground in comparison to Viv’s friendship standards, yet he’d based his adult life on that vow. If there was something to learn from her about the bonds of friendship, he’d be an instant student.
Hooking her chin with his finger, he guided her face back toward his, feathering a thumb across her cheek before he’d barely gotten purchase. God, she felt so good. It was all he could do to keep from spreading his entire palm across her cheek, lifting her lips into a kiss that would resolve nothing other than the constant ache under his skin.
He’d enjoy every minute of the forbidden, though.
Since she still hadn’t answered, he prompted her. “What’s your real reason, Viv? Tell me why you’d do this for me after all I’ve said and done.”
She blinked. “I agreed to this deal. You of all people should know that keeping your word is a choice. Anyone can break a promise but mine to you means something.”
That wasn’t it, or rather it wasn’t the full extent. He could tell. While he appreciated her conviction, she was hedging. He hadn’t expanded Kim Electronics into the American market and grown profits into the ten-figure range by missing signs that the person on the other side of the table wasn’t being entirely forthcoming. But she wasn’t a factory owner looking to make an extra million or two or a parts distributor with shady sources.
She was his wife. Why couldn’t he take what she said at face value and leave it at that?
Because she hadn’t told him about wanting a real marriage, that was why. It stuck under his rib cage, begging him to do something with that knowledge, and the answer wasn’t pulling her into his arms like he wanted to. He should be cutting her free by his choice, not hers.
Yet Viv was quietly showing him how to be a real friend regardless of the cost. It was humbling, and as the limo snaked through the crowded streets of Seoul toward his grandfather’s house, his chest got so tight and full of that constant ache he got whenever he looked at Viv that he could hardly breathe.
Caught in the trap of his own making, he let his hand drop away from her face. He had a wife he couldn’t let himself love and two friends he couldn’t let himself disappoint. At what point did Jonas get what he wanted? And when had his desire for something more shifted so far away from what he had?
There was no good answer to that. The limo paused by his grandfather’s gates as they opened and then the driver pulled onto the hushed property draped with trees and beautiful gardens. The ancestral home that Grandfather had given Jonas and Viv lay a kilometer down the road up on a hill. Both properties were palatial, befitting a businessman who entertained people from all over the world, as Jung-Su did. As Jonas would be expected to do when he stepped into Grandfather’s shoes. He’d need a wife to help navigate the social aspects of being the CEO of a global company.
But the painful truth was that he couldn’t imagine anyone other than Viv by hi
