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“God, sweetheart, that was… I don’t even have words for it. I never imagined…”
He trailed off again and she caressed his chest, turning her head to press a kiss to it. “You don’t have to say anything else. I understand completely.”
And she truly did. For the first time in her life, she let loose with curses in her head. That had been the fucking best, most amazing experience of her life. And she couldn’t wait to do it again.
IAN REACHED DOWN TO PULL UP THE THROW BLANKET he kept at the foot of the bed, bringing it over his and Holly’s rapidly cooli
ng bodies. He thought maybe they should get up and take a shower or something, because they’d worked up quite a sweat during that mind-blowing lovemaking session, but he honestly couldn’t find the energy. Or the desire to let go of Holly, for even a moment.
That had been—shaking his head, he acknowledged wryly that he still didn’t have the words to describe that experience with Holly, even in his head. It was like nothing he’d experienced before, or ever thought he’d experience. All those mated pairs who told him how amazing sex was with their mates had been telling the truth, one hundred percent. Hell, maybe they hadn’t even told the whole truth about how crazy intense and good it was.
Pressing a kiss to the top of her head where it rested on his chest, he amended that thought. What he and Holly just did wasn’t sex. It was lovemaking, it was a melding of their hearts and souls on a level he hadn’t thought possible.
“How are you doing?” he asked, breaking the silence.
“I’m doing freakin’ amazing,” she said with a satisfied sigh.
Eyebrows raising at the pseudo-curse, he glanced down at the top of her head, lips curling. That was probably the best possible endorsement of the time spent in his bed that he could think of.
“I’m so glad you’re not resisting this anymore,” he said softly, rubbing his hand slowly over her back. “I was prepared to fight to the death, but I’m happy that wasn’t necessary.”
“Yeah, well, you’re pretty irresistible,” she replied, cheek moving against his chest like she was smiling. “It didn’t take me long to figure out that trying to fight this was pointless. It still scares me. Taking the risk, I mean. If I lost you, or Shelby, that’d be it. I know for a fact I couldn’t survive it. And someone trying to kill you ups that risk factor. But you’re worth it. Shelby’s worth it. This is what I want, to be with you and have Shelby in my life.”
Unable to contain his grin, the happiness he felt overflowing and bursting free, he swore he felt his heart flutter like a damn teenage girl at her words. There he was, this big, tough fighter who kicked ass in and out of the ring, and he was feeling things no grown man would admit to.
But maybe that’s what happened when a man fell in love.
Stilling as he realized what he’d just thought, he rolled it over his mind, trying to decide how he felt about it. But his conclusion was inevitable. Of course he was falling in love with her. He started falling the moment he walked into her classroom and she started giving him hell for how he was raising Shelby. Smile curving his lips, he resumed slowly stroking her back, content down to his bones.
Took you long enough to figure it out, his tiger said, contentment dripping from his voice. Ian rolled his eyes. Know it all tiger, that one was, but maybe he was right. He’d resisted her too much in the beginning. If he’d just went with his feelings, he might have had her in his arms sooner.
“I’ll give everything I am to make you happy,” he told her, infusing all the conviction he could in his tone. He wanted her to feel how much he meant what he was telling her. “You’ll never want for anything. I’ll take care of you. And before you tell me you can take care of yourself—I know that. I respect that. But I still want to. I still want to give you everything. Whatever you want, whatever you desire—it’s yours.”
Tilting her head up, she placed a gentle peck on his lips. “What I want is you. You, Shelby, and our life together. That’s all I want.”
Squeezing her tighter as she laid her head back down, he said, “I don’t know what exactly the future holds for us, but I do know it’s going to be amazing. You and me together, with Shelby by our sides. And whoever else might come along. It’ll be incredible.”
Stiffening against him, she went quiet for a moment before glancing up at him, eyes troubled. “Ian… the probability of that happening is slim.”
“What? Being happy?” He frowned.
Giving a quick shake of her head, she replied, “No. I know we can be happy. So happy. I mean, adding to our family. If that’s something you want, something you need, maybe we need to end this now, before either of us gets hurt worse when it happens down the line.”
His tiger let out a pissed off growl. “That’s not happening, Holly. Never in a million years would I give you up.”
“Did you just growl?” she asked, looking distracted, brow furrowed.
Shit. He hadn’t even thought to try to disguise it. He’d been too focused on what she said. “Just a normal reaction when the woman I’m falling in love with tells me we should end what we’re building.”
“You’re falling in love with me?” she asked, eyes surprised, then turning dreamy.
“Holly,” he gritted out, trying to get her to focus.
Eyes dimming, she looked down and hesitated before speaking. “I have something called PCOS, and it causes infertility. I tried for years before I got pregnant, Ian, and then I lost the baby. Babies aren’t in my future. So if that’s something you want badly, something you need, we need to end this now. As much as I’d love to, it’s not something I can give you.”
Understanding dawned, and he frowned thoughtfully. “But you did get pregnant. So it’s not impossible.”
“I did, yes, but you’re forgetting the miscarriage. I couldn’t even carry my baby past the thirteenth week. And I’m not willing to lose baby after baby in my quest to try to have one. That would break me completely.”
