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“Sweetheart, I know losing your baby was devastating. It’s not something I’ve experienced, but I know it hurt you deeply. I could see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice when you talked about it. And I can imagine how horrible it was. But it doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t carry a baby full term. Miscarriages can happen for a variety of reasons. Just because it happens once, doesn’t mean it’ll happen again. But we don’t have to ever try for a baby if you don’t want to.”
She was quiet for a long time, and he worried this was a topic she couldn’t get into, something he should have just let go. He was just opening his mouth to reassure her again when she spoke. “Maybe you’re right. I’ve always felt like it was my failure. All of it. Going so long without conceiving, and then losing the baby when I finally did. I thought it was all on me, but maybe you have valid points with everything you just said. But how do I know? How do I try again, knowing my body could fail me again?”
“It’s like I said when I told you I was going to fight for you. There are no guarantees in this life, Holly. None. Everything is a risk in one way or the other. What you have to decide is whether the reward is worth the risk. And you do what you can to minimize the risk. You can go get checked out. Make sure everything is working the way it should, see if there really is a valid reason you can’t carry a baby to term.” Putting his fingers under her chin, he encouraged her to look at him, waiting until their eyes were locked before speaking. “And you do this for you, sweetheart. Not me. Never me. I’d love to grow a family with you, to add to our little family. But, baby, I am so completely happy with just you and Shelby. You’re both my world, and I can’t ask for more than that. If we never have a baby together, if you’re told you can’t, or you decide it’s not worth the risk—I’m okay with that. I honestly am, and that will never change. You and Shelby are all I need.”
She searched his gaze, her chin trembling and beautiful blue-green eyes filling with tears. Blowing out a breath, she looked away, laughing. Glancing back, she said, “God, you talk so good, Ian. I don’t know how, because these insecurities and beliefs of mine run deep, but I believe you. All this talk of falling in love with me, of being your world—I’m starting to believe it. Keep talking like that and you’ll never be able to shake me.”
“Good,” he replied, staring intently into her eyes. “I never want to shake you. I’d probably be one hundred percent okay with you living in my pocket, if you were that kind of woman. And everything I said is the truth, sweetheart. I’m falling in love with you, and you’ve quickly become my world. You and Shelby, you’re everything to me, and I don’t
know what I’d do without you. I know to a hu—you, a woman, it probably seems fast, maybe too fast. But it doesn’t to me. It feels like I’ve been waiting my entire life to find you, and everything feels so natural to me.”
He stared into her eyes, trying to read her thoughts, but they were shadowed. He thought for a moment he’d pushed too much, too fast. But a smile slowly curled her lips, reaching her eyes, and in them he saw awe, along with everything he was feeling.
“It is fast,” she acknowledged. “Crazy fast, and it’s hard for me to comprehend how quickly it all happened, and how fast I changed my beliefs about never doing this again. But it would do me no good to stay in denial about how I feel. I already loved Shelby. I’ve loved her from the first day she showed up in my class, it seems like. And it didn’t take long after meeting you to start falling for you. What you feel, I do, as well. I’m falling in love with you too, and you and Shelby mean more to me than I imagined someone could again.”
Relief washed over him, that he hadn’t pushed too much, and that she felt the same way. And the fact that she loved Shelby meant everything to him. Mate or not, he couldn’t be with someone who didn’t love his daughter. Leaning in, he gave her a kiss that was meant to be chaste but quickly turned heated. It last for several long, glorious moments before Holly pulled back with a laugh.
“If we don’t stop and try to cool off, we’re going to be going at each other again,” she said with a laugh.
Smirking, he replied, “Is that a bad thing?”
“Not necessarily, but maybe I should try to regain my strength first. I’m not a fighter, I don’t train every day. I’m not very physical at all, really, because of my leg. I don’t think I can go all night just yet, but you better believe I’m going to be working on my stamina.”
Throwing his head back with a laugh, he said, “There’s no way I’m going to argue with that. And I’m down for anytime you want to build up your stamina.”
“I’m sure you are,” she replied with a teasing smile that turned into a grimace as she stretched.
“What is it? Is it your leg?” he asked in concern.
“Yeah,” she replied with a long exhale. “It does this sometimes, gets sore and cramps up on me. It’ll work itself out eventually.”
“Would a massage help?” he asked, hating the thought of her in pain. Snapping his fingers, he eased her off his chest and sat up. “I know. I have a huge tub. It’s the whirlpool kind with jets and shit. I’ll draw you a hot bath, and you can sit in it and relax your leg. And when you’re done, I’ll give it a massage. I think that will help.”
Eager to do something, anything, to help her and ease the pain, he hopped out of the bed and strode to the bathroom without waiting on a reply. His tiger was shredding him inside, begging him to fix Holly, make her better, but he couldn’t. This was something that was out of his hands, and he loathed that fact. He wanted to take care of her, take all her worries, pain, insecurities, all of it, away. He wanted her to feel nothing but happiness. A lot of those were things he couldn’t do, but it was in his power to make her happy, and he was going to devote himself to doing just that. By the time he was done, she’d be so happy, all that other stuff was hardly register.
Twisting the faucets, he tested the temperature before looking around, hunting up something he could use as bubble bath. Sometimes Shelby used his tub, and she’d leave her stuff in here. Spotting some bottles on the counter, he gave a mental fist pump when he found some lavender scented bubble bath. Score.
He’d just finished pouring it in the bath water and recapping the bottle when he froze, a thought hitting him with the force of a wrecking ball. Shit, why didn’t he think of this sooner?
There was a way he could help Holly one day, down the road, if she agreed to it. Some shifter species could turn humans, give them animals. And tigers were one. If he claimed her, which he was longing to do already, he’d do it with a bite. And his bite would give her a tiger, make her a shifter.
Shifters had accelerated healing. If they were hurt, they could heal in hours. Even a broken arm would be healed in a day or two, although it needed to be set properly so it healed right. But it worked in reverse, as well. If a human was turned with an existing ailment, it would heal them in the process.
It could even heal Holly’s leg. He knew from when Chase’s mate, Hannah, turned, it might not be pleasant. Hannah had a bad ankle as a human, with screws holding it together. When she turned, her new wolf healed the ankle, but it saw the screws as foreign objects and pushed them out of her body.
Suppressing a shudder at the visual, he reached down and checked to make sure the water was still warm. No, the healing process after being turned wouldn’t be pleasant at all, especially considering the extensive damage Holly had to her leg. But it would work. Hannah’s ankle was good as new now. She was a dancer before she injured it, and she was again now, owning her own dance studio here in town.
And if a new tiger could heal her leg, it would certainly cure the PCOS she had.
Breathing deeply through his tightened chest, he envisioned Holly, belly swollen with his baby, Shelby at her feet while she read a story, and tears stung his eyes. That vision was his every fantasy come true, and he’d love nothing more for it to happen.
But he’d also been telling the truth when he said he’d be ecstatically happy if it were only ever him, Holly, and Shelby. Another kid would be amazing, but it was in no way a make or break kind of deal. He’d be beyond happy with just what he had now.
Being turned, being healed, gave Holly options. For himself, as much as he’d love another child, he didn’t need the option. Just Holly, and Shelby of course, were more than enough for him. But for Holly, it would open up doors she thought were closed. It would give her the chance to make the dream, the yearning he saw in her eyes, a reality. And that, he would do absolutely anything for.
One day soon, when he told her what he was, when he told her she was his mate and what that meant, he’d tell her she could become a shifter. And what turning would mean for her. But whether she agreed or not, he couldn’t be happier or more content than he was right now. He didn’t need her to be a shifter—human or tiger, it didn’t matter to him one bit.
“You put bubbles in it.”
