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I frowned. “That’s nuts. You’re great.”

“Huh.” He sounded surprised. “Well. Thanks.” He rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. “So, nightmare? Wanna share?”

I shuddered, holding my arms even tighter. “No. Definitely not.”

Though I had to say, being out here with him was a better distraction than I could have hoped to find. I was finally calming down and the shaking had almost stopped.

Reece nodded.

I looked at the cigarette, which I guess could more accurately be called a blunt, that he’d tucked behind his ear. Then I asked, completely on a reckless impulse, “Could I have a hit?”

His eyebrows went up but he nodded. “Sure. Sorry, it was rude of me not to offer.”

Reece lit up the joint again, sucking in and hollowing out his cheeks. Then he passed it to me.

I put my lips around it, acutely conscious that his lips had just been in the exact same spot. Then I sucked and breathed in at the same time.

And coughed so hard I almost doubled over.

“Shit,” Reece said, reaching for me but pulling back at the last second like he wasn’t sure I wanted hands on me.

“I’m fine,” I coughed out, laughing at the same time. Tears from the smoke pricked at my eyes but before I could think better of it or Reece could try to take it away, I sucked in another long inhale.

And coughed all over again.

“Jesus, woman,” Reece said, snatching for the joint.

But I danced back from him.

“Uh uh,” I said in between coughs. “You are not stealing my first,” cough, “weed experience from me,” cough cough cough.

“Oh shit, it’s your first time?” Reece’s eyes went wide. “Then no more. This shit’s the good stuff.”

I handed it back. I was already laughing, though I doubted the weed could hit that fast. It just felt… ridiculously good to do something reckless. It helped settle me back into this life and made the nightmare life feel worlds away. Where it belonged.

I was this new woman. I was Charlie.

I closed my eyes as my body started to feel a little lighter. I held out my arms and dropped my head back, opening my eyes and looking up at the star-filled sky.

“I’m so serious all the time.” I shook out my arms and then my whole body, then slowly started spinning. The sky above rotated as I spun. “The whole point of leaving was so I could start to live,” I murmured. My body started to relax, and it felt like relief. Relief to be rid of her.

“Looks like you’re doing a fine job of living to me,” Reece said and he sounded earnest, not like he was laughing at me or making fun.

I looked over at him and his head was leaned back, also looking up at the stars.

“I grew up in the city,” he said. “I didn’t know so many stars could even be real.”

“Shut the front door,” I said. “That’s just what I was thinking when I came out! Mind-reader.”

He smiled my way, that special smile I’d never seen him give to anyone else. “Nah, it’s just that great minds think alike.”

I grinned, and for the first time in forever, it felt easy. My facial features just sort of relaxed into it instead of having to force my lips to curve upwards. Could a person even go from devastation to smiling in such a short time, or was swinging that far on a pendulum just another indication of how fucked up I truly was?

God, in this second I didn’t care. I was just grateful for the relief, so I clung to it. The feeling was so foreign. Is this what… is this what being happy feels like?

Reece laughed. “I don’t know. Is this what being happy feels like? I sure hope so.”

Shit, did I say that out loud?

He laughed even harder. “Yep, you said it out loud.”

I clapped a hand over my mouth, but I was grinning too hard, so I dropped it. “Screw it. Is it really so bad to just say whatever’s on my mind?”

Reece shook his head. “I certainly hope not. I do it all the time.”

“Does it get you into trouble?”

He nodded. “Fuck yeah, it has.”

I laughed. And I mean laughed, like doubled over laughing, holding my gut.

“Okay, okay, why don’t we get you somewhere you can sit down. I think the weed’s hitting.”

He came over and put his hand at the small of my back. I leaned into his touch because it felt heavenly. I suddenly wished the robe I had on wasn’t so thick.

He led me forward, which meant he was close. I looked up at him. He was looking ahead so I could just stare at his strong jaw in the light from the moon and stars. Before I could fully think it through, my hand was up, and the tips of my fingers traced along his jawline. Stubbly and prickly.

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