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“That would be nice,” my mouth said, while my heart was feeling all the feelings and crumbling. I couldn’t help but think he was running. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut yesterday. I had a habit of being too honest about my feelings. Yes, it was good to know we had different goals in mind, but I didn’t mean to push him away. Our son needed him to be here.
“Unfortunately, I won’t be able to come back until after the BAFTAs. Then I’m headed to Toronto.”
“It’s your job,” I said half-heartedly.
He stepped closer and brushed my bangs. “Come to the BAFTAs with me.”
Being in London with Drake sounded wonderful but . . . “I wish I could, but I can’t. It’s the same day as the Valentine’s Day ball, and I let my passport expire a couple of years ago.” I was too busy running after a toddler at the time, and since I wasn’t planning any exotic trips, it didn’t seem worth the hassle.
“Damn,” he breathed out. “Renew it and make sure to get Jameson one. You can both come to Toronto with me.”
“Okay. We’ll try and visit one weekend.”
His brow scrunched. “You can stay the entire time. I’ll get accommodations for us.”
“Jameson has school and I have to help Izzy get this place up and running.” I waved my hand around.
“I’ll hire a tutor and any contractor you want to finish this place.”
I took his hand. “Drake, as wonderful as that all sounds, we can’t just pull Jameson out of school. And Izzy has given up so much to help me make this place a reality. I can’t just up and leave for a couple of months. Besides, I love that I have to work for this place. It’s made it that much more special to me. It’s like making a dream come true.” I looked up at the ceiling. The empty space in the middle, meant for my chandelier, called to me. I knew Drake could easily pay for the beauty that was destined to hang there. Ten thousand dollars was nothing to him. But it didn’t feel right. I wanted to someday dance on the very floor where I stood and look up to see that chandelier, knowing Izzy and I had made it happen. “If I let you pay for my dreams then they can no longer come true.”
“Charlotte, that makes no sense. Will you please let me make some of your dreams come true?” His frustration was mounting.
“I would love nothing more than for you to make my biggest dream come true, but that requires the hardest work of all.”
His eyes widened, acknowledging that he knew exactly the dream I was speaking of. The trepidation clearly shone in his sea-green peepers.
I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “I love you, Drake Foster.” There I went again, blabbing my feelings. Honestly, though, it felt good to finally get that out, even knowing he might not feel the same way. Knowing for sure he wouldn’t reciprocate it, even if he did. We both had some things to work on. It was all part of the dream, though, as hard as it was. “I will wait for you, but not forever.”
He placed his hand on the cheek I had just kissed, staring at me in bewilderment.
“You heard me right. Now you get to decide what to do with that information.” In the meantime, I would be working on the dreams I could.
Chapter Twenty-Five
One of the hardest things I have ever had to do was watch my son say goodbye to his father. Thankfully, Izzy was there to hold my hand—even though I knew she was probably only there to make sure Drake left. That was her dream. I couldn’t say I blamed her. All she saw was a man running. And maybe she was right. Only time would tell. If she ended up being right, then I would let him go. That I knew. He was one dream I wouldn’t chase. That dream, of us being together, could only be worked on side by side.
I wrung the life out of Izzy’s hand in the early-morning light while tears streamed down my face watching Drake kneel near the front door, his luggage by his side, hugging a crying Jameson.
“Why do you have to go?” Jameson cried. His trusty sidekick, Fiona, tried to butt her nose in, anxious that her boy was upset.
I wanted to take away his pain, too, but couldn’t, and that hurt in ways there were no words for. Add that on top of the fact my own heart was having palpitations, knowing Drake was leaving and perhaps this would be it for us. At least on the couple front. We were co-parents now, so we would always have to be in each other’s lives.
