AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Me: I’m on my way.
Big guy: I’m here waiting, I’ll always wait for you.
“What’s the plan today little lady?” Sawyer asks, a smirk pulling at his lips.
“Well, I’m going to see Eli and you’re going to be watching, that makes you sound like a peeping tom or something,” I reply, staring out of the window and watching the people, cars and the whole world go right on by.
“I know it can’t be a lot of fun, having me cramping your style but it isn’t forever,” is he trying to convince me or himself.
“I’m fine, it’s you I feel sorry for,” I say, my voice trailing off. I wouldn’t even be able to convince a two-year-old with my performance.
“How’s the guitar going?”
“Real subtle Sawyer,” I roll my eyes before taking a deep breath, “I can strum with my right hand, I just need to learn to play the chords with my left. It’s hard but I don’t want to give in now. Perseverance and all that bollocks, one thing’s for sure though, I haven’t broken any more windows,” we’re both cracking up at that part. Not because it’s funny as such, more because of how true that statement is. Fucking irony.
We’re pulling up to the park and my hands are already feeling clammy, it’ll be okay it’s just Eli. The one guy who can aggravate me to no end, it’ll make things easier. I think.
“I’ll be within viewing distance and close enough that I can get to you should anything happen,” I can’t help but look at the hand he’s placed on my shoulder, I’m not looking for another brother, but I’m not going to say that to him.
He’s a good guy and I know he’s trying to make an awkward situation easier, the thing is the only solution to that is to get rid of the danger. Easier said than done when no one can find him.
“I know the drill, have no fear. I won’t try to lose you or anything,” why did I say that? It makes it sound like that’s what I’m planning to do. Reality check, I don’t want to die!
His reply is a soft smile and kind eyes, hey maybe this guy gets me.
I LIKE that Sawyer doesn’t stick to my side like glue, at least Eli and I will have a semblance of privacy whilst we’re in the park.
“Hen,” damn Eli and his sexy as sin voice, does he have to m
ake my heart race like this?
“Hey big guy,” I say with a small hand wave, do I have to sound so freaking shy? I am not a shy person and we both know it.
He stands up and walks closer to me but I don’t let him close the distance completely, not ready for that and I still don’t know how I want things to end with us.
“Do you want to sit down?” He asks awkwardly and all I can do is nod my head. Texting is so much easier, less real but at the same time I can be more real than I have felt in months.
“I’m glad you came,” his eyes are sad despite his words, this situation is so fucked up. Why don’t we just draw a line in the sand and say goodbye. Wouldn’t that be easier?
“Why are you here Elijah?” He flinches at my use of his full name or maybe it’s the distant tone I have to force myself to adopt.
“Because I miss you and I’m not willing to just walk away, I told you I won’t give up easily this time. Not unless you are telling me that you can never picture us being together again?” His eyes hold so much, more than I can put a name to but I can see the fear that today will be the day I turn away for good.
I should, I know it and I think he does too, I just don’t know if I can.
“I miss you too, but I’m not the same girl I was when we were in Padstow or when we were together for the last time in that hotel room. So much has changed, I’ve changed,” my words are so heavy, they could drown me in an instant, I wonder if Eli knows he’s my life raft right now?
“None of us are the same Hen, I won’t mention ‘him’ but everyone and everything is different now. The only thing that hasn’t changed is the way I feel about you, I don’t know if that will ever change or if we’re even compatible anymore but I’m willing to find out.” He’s pausing, is this some dramatic bullshit because it really isn’t needed. I don’t think that is the reason though, his face is filled with resolve as he holds his hand out to me and locks his gaze with mine. “The only real question is, are you?” His hand is shaking as we stare at one another, I want to break eye contact but I can’t.
Standing up, I can see the watery film covering his eyes. This is a rejection or at least, that’s what he thinks. Taking a deep breath, I need to know that I’m making the right choice but I’m not a coward and I won’t let fear rule me any longer. Am I turning into a parrot, how many times am I going to say the same thing before I start acting on my own words?
“I want to try,” I say as I lay my hand in his, a cold sweat is breaking out all over but I can handle it. I think.
“Where do we go from here?” He asks with the smile I’ve always loved, the one that lights up the entirety of his face.
“I think we need to start over, no rushing into anything and take things at a snail’s pace. It’s the only way I can do this, but I get it if it doesn’t appeal to you,” this isn’t a test but if he says no, then clearly we could never work.
“If it means I get a second chance with you... damn it Hen, I’ll do anything. I don’t think anything is too much for me right now, not if I get to be with you again someday. You are more than worth it,” his words warm and melt away some of the icy fear that still clutches around my heart.
