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A sense of freedom overcomes me as the fresh air hits my face. Thank goodness I’m away from him. That’s the worst night that I’ve had in a very long time. Especially the end.
Thomas leans out from his window and yells something at me, but I miss exactly what it is because his car’s tires are screeching too hard on the ground. Thank goodness then he drives away at the speed of light, leaving me alone. I grab out my cell phone quickly and block him from the dating app, so he can never contact me again.
This is why I never give out my personal details. It’s just so much better.
With a deep sigh, I stare at the building in front of me. The office, where everything between Carter and me has happened. I suppose it hasn’t exactly been the greatest love affair in the world, it’s been more of just a hook up th
ing. I don’t really know anything about him, we haven’t dated or had anything romantic. It’s just been a thing. Yet… through all of that, I like him. I like him far more than Thomas, far more than any man who’s ever come before him. I like him way more than I should do.
“What am I going to do?” I mutter to myself. “What can I do with any of this?”
I could tell him that I like him, I suppose. I could be honest and be truthful. I could do the terrifying thing of laying my heart out on the line and see how he feels too. Yes, it might be awkward and make things uncomfortable, but I suppose it will all just be out there in the open.
Or, I could keep my feelings a secret and we could just continue to hook up every so often. That could be fun, if not very confusing. That would be the coward’s way out, but it might be the one that I take. I feel a bit burned at the moment, burned out with love, with lust, with all of it. Staying away from guys was easier.
17
Carter
I don’t want to go to work, not like this. I have giant bags under my eyes from the lack of sleep, I have stress lines all over my face, my suit doesn’t look right, I can still smell booze all over me… nothing is right, and it’s all because of Raelyn. Raelyn and her fucking fancy man that she’s chosen over me. Much as I understand it, the hangover isn’t helping me to be charitable today. I’m just in a shitty mood.
No, I didn’t manage to find anyone to take my mind off from her last night either. Every woman that I even looked at just reminded me of her, which is too damn painful for words. The drunker I got, the more they morphed into her which has pretty much left me with nothing. I’m all empty and hollow, yet full of rage too.
Ring, ring…
“Oh, fuck off,” I mutter. “I don’t want to talk to anyone right now.
Ring, ring… Ring, ring…
“Leave me alone. Whoever the fuck you are, I’m not in the mood.”
Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…
But the phone continues to ring. It isn’t going anywhere. The only thing I can do is answer it to shut it up.
“Hello?” I answer gruffly without even looking to see who it is. “Carter Lace speaking.”
“What are you talking about, Carter? I know who you are, I called you.”
“Mom.” Perfect, I do not need this right now. “What’s going on? I’m about to go to work.”
“I know, that’s why I called you. This is the best chance I have that you will actually answer. Any other time and you’ll ignore me. You know you do, before you deny it.” I roll my eyes but remain silent. “What’s wrong with you anyway? You sound sick. Is something going on that I need to know about?”
“I’m not sick, Mom. Just tired.” I won’t tell her that I’m hungover. She’ll just freak out. Not that having a drink is wild, but she’ll start to attach all kinds of meanings to it. Meanings that might be close to the truth.
“Right, sure. I don’t believe you, but if that’s what you want to tell me…”
“Is this important, Mom? I have a lot going on at the moment…”
“You always have a lot going on. That doesn’t change anything. You can still talk to me.”
I groan loudly. “Fine, Mom. What would you like to talk about? I’ll get dressed as we talk.”
“I want to talk to you about Raelyn. We didn’t get much of a chance to discuss her before, did we?”
I cannot fucking believe this. Is she serious? This is the absolute worst time for this call to come. Although I suppose it’s probably a good thing that I didn’t talk to her yesterday, when I was all full of love for the woman. I might have given Mom the wrong impression and then she would have been utterly feral about it.
“We said all that we need to say. I have nothing else to discuss about that woman.”
