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“I don’t think so. I love sex but imagine the clients.” I laughed as Luke chuckled with me. We kept drinking and moved onto lighter subjects and I avoided the crowd. I didn’t expect Rosie to be here and if she was, she probably wouldn’t talk to me to begin with. I didn’t want to hook up with any other girls either.
27
Rosalind
I dragged through the first week back at school. I hated walking away from Sterling that day, but it had to end somehow. We couldn’t keep on sleeping with each other. We were graduating and moving on soon. I didn’t know where I was headed, and I needed a clean slate.
I noticed Sterling around campus, looking a little scruffy. He probably had a few worries of his own, knowing his family. I tried to focus on classes and grades. I needed them to be good in case I chose to move on in school. I didn’t need to think about how good he made me feel.
Violet kept me social and out amongst the general population. She started dating a basketball player and introduced me to his best friend. Kyle was cute enough, but he didn’t make me feel weak in the knees. We just had fun, and I kissed him, not letting him get any further. I wasn’t ready yet.
I didn’t have to be home for a few weeks and enjoyed that. I still got shit from my family and considered not sending them tickets to my graduation. They weren’t eager for me to live here and work and I didn’t dare mention the idea of moving to Texas with Violet. She had an apartment set up already there with two bedrooms and a job working in a physical therapy clinic. I could take some time to find the right job and be okay.
It was just so far away.
I went to classes, studied, and took tests. I saw Kyle on double dates with Violet and Drake and we laughed and had fun. I tried not to worry about Sterling when I saw him or think about how much I missed him. I realized that Kyle wanted to go further with me then we had over the last two months, but I couldn’t. I heard Violet and Drake in her room getting along just fine. They’d stay all night together while I asked a frustrated Kyle to leave. It was great.
I started feeling sick around the two-month mark but there was a virus going around. I took some time to rest, still going to classes with the little energy that I had. Violet took care of me by bringing me vitamins and soup, but I had trouble keeping anything down. It lasted a week, creeping into the next. I barely made it to classes after that, still managing because I needed the grades. Violet came into my room one night as I struggled to study, feeling particularly nauseous.
“Kyle says hi. He wants you to get better, so we can all go out soon.” She told me as she sat on the edge of the bed.
“Hopefully soon. This suck,” I told her as I dropped my head back to the pillow.
“I saw Sterling too. He stopped me to ask why you look like shit these days. What happened with you two?” Violet asked as I groaned. I was keeping what happened with him from her, but I was too weak tonight to keep the lie going.
“We had a fight or whatever over break. He was being an ass, and I came back here deciding to focus on classes. Nothing big.” I replied as I accepted the Vitamin Water that she offered.
“Didn’t you say that you were getting it on in the park? What was the fight about?” I shrugged, and her eyes lit up with an idea. “Rosie, that was about two months ago. Right?”
“Yeah,” I nodded slowly before staring at her. “Oh, God.”
“Were you guys careful?” Violet asked as I felt panic setting in.
“I am on the pill. That was enough,” I told myself as much as I did her. “I take it every day. This can’t be anything other than a flu, right?”
“Are you late?” Violet asked as I blinked. My head was throbbing with the idea of considering this. I never paid attention to the dates. I wasn’t having regular sex with condoms before Sterling. They were already short to begin with, so I didn’t do the math.
“Maybe?” I asked as I flashed through the days. Yep. It was over two months ago since I had any semblance of a period.
“Rosie, shit. You might be pregnant.” I closed my eyes and let out a soft cry at the words. “I don’t believe that he didn’t use something with you. Is he even clean?”
“We talked about that and it started out as only one time. I didn’t think… didn’t expect anything like this. What am I going to do?” I asked Violet as she licked her lips.
“I am going to buy a test. There’s no need to freak out if you’re not pregnant. You probably aren’t. The pill is good, and you’ve been so stressed out. I’ll go to the store and we can deal with this properly.” Violet slipped on a hoodie and slipped out of the dorm as I dropped my head on the pillow.
I was nauseous on and off all day.
Most food repulsed me. I didn’t want to go eat with Violet in the cafeteria anymore and merely snacked.
Parts of my body ached that never had before.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Violet was gone for about twenty minutes before she hurried through the door. She dropped a bag on my bed and took a few deep breaths.
“Sterling was there with a friend. I had to practically run to the registers to get out of there before he saw me.” I looked at her with horror in my eyes. “I got away. It’s fine. I picked up three different kinds of tests just to be sure. They look so complex.”
I took them into the bathroom and read the directions, which was basically peeing on a stick. Easy enough. I did that and set them gently on the bathroom counter as I let myself have a panic attack. There is no way that I was pregnant. I’d been so careful about taking my pills every day since Sterling and I decided not to use condoms anymore. It wasn’t like I had a long sexual history, but I wasn’t a virgin. Nothing happened before this.
