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If I was, my parents would be through with me. This wasn’t part of their future plan, at least not yet. Not with Sterling. If I was, I couldn’t tell him. He was struggling with his own future just like I was. I had a few months to hide this and make a decision, but I wouldn’t have to.
I wasn’t pregnant. It wasn’t an issue.
Violet came into the bathroom when she heard me crying. She glanced down at the tests that nearly screamed that I was fucked and dropped to the floor, pulling me into her arms.
“We’ve got this. We do,” she assured me as I cried against her shoulder.
We made our way to my bed, and I dropped down in shock. I touched my flat stomach in complete disbelief that a baby was in there.
“Have you been with anyone other than Sterling?” Violet asked as I shot her a glare. “I’m just asking. I doubted that you had but we need the facts here, Rosie.” She ran a hand through her hair, cursing softly. “Do you know what you want to do?”
“I just found out. Right now, I want to leave the planet. I can’t even bear with this.” I knew it was rude, but I was too overwhelmed to deal with any of this right now.
“Fair enough,” Violet said softly as she rested on the pillow beside me. “I think we should get you to a doctor. You have that insurance through your dad.”
“I am not risking them finding out. I’ll go somewhere else and pay cash.” I changed the idea, and she wrapped her arm around me. Violet nodded, and we fell quiet.
I managed to discover that orange Vitamin Water made my stomach feel better and bought a case. If I drank it while I was in class, I kept things together pretty well. I was still hell bent on finishing school on a good note despite this horrible change in my life.
I ran into Sterling when I was trying to get some food in the cafeteria one day and stopped as he stared at me.
“Are you okay?” He asked as I licked my lips. It was two weeks after I got the news and it was still painful to think about.
“I’m fine. Just busy with school,” I told him shortly as he frowned. I knew that I wasn’t looking like a supermodel these days, but I never had. “I just need to get some food.”
“I haven’t talked to you in a long time. Is everything all right with you?” He fell into step with me as I held in a groan. I walked by some of the offerings, trying to decide what my stomach would allow right now as I looked everything over. Salad. I paused and ordered a small chicken salad with a cup of fresh fruit as my stomach growled. I reached into my bag for some cash, but Sterling surprised me by paying for it. “Let me.”
“You didn’t have to do that,” I chastised him as I took the bag tha
t she offered me. I glanced around the large room to find a seat, angry when he started to follow me. “What do you want?”
I faced Sterling as he stared at me in shock.
“What’s wrong with you? I thought we were friends.” His voice reflected his shock.
“Are we now?” I asked as he scratched his head.
“We never stopped being friends.” Sterling looked down and then at the door. “I just wanted to talk. I’m sorry.” He turned and left the building as I watched, regret filling my body.
28
Sterling
I didn’t know what was going on with Rosie. She didn’t look healthy the last few times I saw her. I understood that we were busy with classes, but she looked tired. More than tired. I gave up trying to talk to her that one day in the cafeteria but kept an eye on her. Violet wasn’t helpful at all. She just assured me that Rosie was fine, but I could see that there was more to it in her face.
I’d heard that she was seeing one of the basketball players through word of mouth but never saw her walking the campus with him. I did see Violet with another guy from the team a lot, so I wondered if the story about Rosie was just a rumor. I was pissed when I heard Grace talking about it at the party. I was jealous. I was feeling several emotions that were new territory for me. I wanted to get to the bottom of things, but she shut me the hell down.
It seemed like we weren’t even friends now.
I settled for seeing Holland, a new girl from one of my classes. She was an artist and quirky. She made me laugh and didn’t demand a relationship. Every time I was with her, I missed Rosie even more. I slept with a lot of girls, but I never had the connection that I’d had with Rosie. Maybe it was because we were friends beforehand or that we were so taboo in the eyes with our family. That was hot when we were sneaking away during the break to feel each other. I came harder than ever at those times, hating myself for having second thoughts while we were still back home. I could still have her in my bed and life had I kept my mouth shut.
My parents called me home one weekend to talk. I made the drive when I was finished with my day on Friday with some clothes to stay a night or two. Mom reheated dinner for me when I arrived, telling me that Dad was at a meeting.
“I could have shown up tomorrow, Mom. You made it sound like it was a critical emergency.” I looked at the plate of meatloaf and vegetables that she placed on the breakfast bar before I stared at her.
“I didn’t know that he’d be gone until after you’d left. Besides, I’ve missed you since you left last time.” She told me as I slipped into the seat and sipped the soda in front of me.
“Is everything okay?” I asked as she poured some wine. The house was quiet, and I assumed that we were alone.
