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Where is she? My brain starts imaging her gone with this mystery man already. No, no, no.
“Alistair?” She finds me before I find her. “What the hell are you doing here?”
I spin and relief floods me as I spot her all too familiar red hair. She looks nice, lovely actually in her tight black dress with her hair styled in waves, I want to hold her in my arms and never let her go. I can sense a man behind her but I don’t even see him. He’s nothing compared to her. Just a figment, a symbol that I might lose this woman. I cannot lose her. That’s even more evident now I’m standing in front of her.
“I… I…” Shit, where are my words. “I came her to speak to you.”
“Why?” She folds her arms across her chest. “Why the hell have you come here?”
“I…” Finally, I brave darting my eyes behind her. The man is nondescript. He’s nothing. I’m sure she could like him if I let her but I have absolutely no intension of allowing that to happen. It’s time to let her know. “I don’t want you out with him,” I growl. “Not when you belong to me. No way.”
“I belong to you?” Fury bubbles inside of her which brings a playful smile to my lips. I can’t stop myself, I love winding her up. “I belong to no one, thank you very much. How dare you say that?”
“I say it, because it’s true. You know it’s true. Stop trying to hide. Come with me right now.”
“I’m moving on.” She’s growing desperate now. “We aren’t going to make it happen, you’ve made that perfectly clear. So, why should I stick around and wait for nothing to happen? That’s crazy?”
“So, it isn’t that you don’t want me then? You admit that you would like to be with me if you could?”
She opens and closes her mouth a couple of times but says nothing. I do feel a little bad about the guy standing behind her, but to be fair, I would rathe know sooner rather than later. This is to help him.
“Right, so if you want to be with me then what are you doing messing around?”
“Messing around.” Her teeth grit together. “Fuck you, Alistair. You have no idea.”
“You tell me right now that you don’t want to be with me and I’ll go. I’ll leave you to your date.”
She darts her eyes backwards, looking between me and her date. The guy who is ‘perfect on paper’ and me. The one who might not be able to give her any of the ideals that she wants - although I probably could given half the chance - but that she feels that magnetic powerful pull with. Maybe it doesn’t seem like I should have a chance, but I’m quietly confident that I do. I know how good it feels when we’re together.
“It’s too…” She looks sad now, that isn’t what I want. “It’s too much, Alistair, you can’t just.”
“Okay.” I hole my hands up in the air in a defeated gesture. “I’ll go. I don’t want to put you on the spot. I just want you to realize that you can’t hide from this anymore. This is it, your chance to be with me.?
??
“You haven’t made any indication that you want anything like that from me. What am I supposed to think?”
“I’m standing here right now telling you. What more could you want?”
With that I turn on my heels and I go. I leave the restaurant not really sure what will happen. I clearly know what Katherine wants but whether she’s brave enough to take a chance on that I’m not sure. All I know is I can’t stick around forever. If she isn’t interested now then it’s time for both of us to move on. We can’t go back and forth forever. This has been occurring for over a year. One way or another we need to make a choice.
I rock on my heels as I stare up into the night sky. Today seemed like such an ordinary nothing kind of day. I didn’t expect anything to happen at all. I certainly didn’t think it’s be the day I declared my feelings for Katherine to everyone. I don’t know how anyone will take it, least of all her.
She’s not coming, my brain unhelpfully tells me. I’ve lost out on the best woman I ever could have had.
It’s sad because she truly could have been the one to tame me. She’s got under my skin like no one else ever will. The temptation to go back in there and demand some more is almost overwhelming, but it won’t work. It’s up to her now to decide if she wants to take the plunge or not.
I’ll wait five more minutes, then I’ll leave. I’ll give up then.
No one will be able to say that I didn’t try!
My heart thunders, my whole body pounds, but I don’t let that show. I’m a swan, all calm on the surface and flapping underneath. Time ticks by, much too fast for me, those five minutes melt into nothingness. Then my pride takes action and I have to go, I can’t even take one glance back. It’s sad, but what choice do I have now? No way Alistair Chance waits around to be rejected. I lift my foot, and I step with a deep sadness consuming me as I go. It’s over now. After all this time, it’s done.
6
Katherine
“Alistair!” I call out to him just as it looks like it’s going to go. “Alistair, wait.”
