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I needed was to re-injure it when I was making so much progress.
Although, it felt good to be up and walking around, my body ached, from the disuse and then the abundance of movement. Between the exertion of lovemaking and putting pressure on it to walk across the kitchen had tested the limits. However, it was eventually able to settle into the ability to be mobile without all that much pain.
Soon after I woke up, I saw a mound in the blankets on the bed rise, before a big, black snout shoved its way to freedom from the covers. I watched the nose sniff in the air, nostrils flaring, trying not to laugh.
Eventually, the rest of his head poked out.
“Don’t worry, boy. I’m still here,” I told him as he wrestled with the blanket to throw it off him.
When he saw me, his tail started to wag excitedly, and he leapt off the bed, nearly instantly arriving at my side.
“Good boy,” I told him, petting his head, and looking around for something to give him. I found a jar, which was filled with large treats. I grabbed a few and gave them to him, while Jake bounced up and down excitedly. His movements seemed to make the whole cabin quake.
When my tea was finished, I sauntered over to the chair, not wanting to return to the bed, but wanting to get off my feet.
I settled in, noticing that this was extremely relaxing. I closed my eyes but didn’t sleep. Instead, I thought about everything that had happened this morning and wondered what that meant.
Also, I wondered if it should mean anything. After all, we were both in a stressful situation, which could evoke reactions that weren’t exactly the normal responses that either of us would make if we weren’t in such a situation.
Still, there was a large part of me that didn’t want such a scenario to be the case.
Johnathan, even with his callous nature and strange behavior, made me feel a sense of excitement and need that I had never experienced before.
Johnathan wasn’t my first, but he was undoubtedly my best. I had never experienced such a fulfilling sexual encounter in all my life. I couldn’t wait to do it again. He was so exciting and mysterious, but strangely, it wasn’t those qualities that intrigued me during sex.
While we were making love, I felt as though I was actually experiencing Johnathan, the real, unbridled Johnathan, for the first time.
I felt as though for the first time, probably in a long time, but certainly since we met, he actually allowed himself some freedom.
I knew that it couldn’t be easy for him to continuously be that person, who hides everything and shoves everyone away, all the time. I knew there must be a reason, but even with such a staunch commitment, it couldn’t be easy to continue to be someone he wasn’t.
Making love to him had shown me what he was really capable of. He was sweet, considerate, and caring, without sacrificing his masculinity.
He was the full, sexy, dreamy package, wrapped into one extremely shielded person.
However, I was convinced that even with the small, but powerful introduction, I had become enamored with the man behind his façade.
I wondered how to get Johnathan to trust me enough to show me that man again, preferably in a situation where it was more appropriate for us to talk.
I wanted to get to know more about that Johnathan; the man that didn’t feel he needed to hide.
However, when Johnathan returned, despite how happy I was to see him, I could immediately tell that he wasn’t happy to see me.
While having the conversation about the tea and his chair, for a moment, I held out hope that I was wrong.
Yet, when he made no effort to continue the conversation, my original thoughts were confirmed.
“What’s wrong, Johnathan?” I asked, hoping that he would find it appropriate to speak to me, instead of blowing me off, as he often did.
“Listen, Carrie, I just want you to know that what happened before will not happen again, okay?”
“Um, okay…” I replied, unable to hide the fact that I was intensely hurt by his gruffness. “Why? What changed?”
“You’ve had your experience, fucking a mountain man, so you should leave it at that,” he retorted in an ire-stricken voice.
I could tell that he was hurt, though I didn’t understand why. I felt hot tears burn the corners of my eyes. I was angry and hurt. I immediately felt used and disrespected.
“What?” I exclaimed, getting to my feet, and rushing over to him. “Johnathan, please, I wasn’t looking for any kind of experience. I wasn’t trying to use you. I wanted you…I still want you…” When I poke, my voice sounded nearly as desperate as I felt.
