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I was really happy to have Lindsey staying the night at my house. It had been ages since we had a sleepover, unless you counted the numerous times I passed out drunk on her couch after a night at the club. I had ordered take out for us to eat and got some sparkling cider to drink while she enjoyed champagne that her parents had brought over. She looked so peaceful and calm, and I wondered if the whole idea of cold feet was just something that someone made up to calm people’s nerves when they knew they were making a mistake. Either way, she didn’t have cold anything at that point.
The next day was the wedding, and we were excited that the day had finally come. Lindsey wanted to follow every wedding tradition down to the tee, including not seeing each other before the wedding. That was ultimately why she was staying at my house. Jordan had offered to rent her the penthouse at one of the hotels, but she said she wanted to feel at home and just be alone with her best friend. It made me feel good that I was still important to someone. Nathan had made me feel like I wasn’t worth anything, and that was a really hard feeling to shake away.
“You remember when we were kids, and we planned out our wedding days?” she asked.
“Yeah.” I laughed. “You were going to marry John Stamos.”
“He is still hot. I don’t care what anyone says.” She laughed. “You had decided you wanted to get married in the woods on a fall day with just me and your groom. You refused to name him because you thought it was bad luck.”
“Oh, yeah,” I said, laughing. “That still would be a great wedding and not stressful to plan at all.”
We sat laughing and talking, but I still wasn’t feeling like myself. My body felt tight and stressed, and the nausea came in waves that I couldn’t tell were coming until they were right on top of me. I tried to put that all in the back of my mind, though, and enjoy the night with my best friend. It would probably be the last time we did something like this.
“Nathan told Jordan on Wednesday that he would definitely be at the wedding,” Lindsey said, peering over at me from the top of her champagne glass. “I didn’t want to tell you then, so I waited until you couldn’t back out of being my Maid of Honor.”
“Don’t count your chickens,” I said, feeling my stomach drop. “There is still plenty of time for me to back out of this thing.”
“Oh, no you don’t,” she said. “Why do you think I am spending the night? I want to make sure you don’t run.”
“Isn’t that my job for you?”
“No, you are supposed to help me run if I choose to do it.” She laughed.
“I always get confused on that.” I smiled. “As far as Nathan is concerned, I don’t know what to say about it. I guess I should have known there was a chance he would be there. I mean, I’m not sure what I am supposed to do.”
I sat there moving the popcorn in my bowl around, thinking about the idea of actually seeing Nathan the next day. Lindsey was right. I wanted to run away, but I knew that I had to face this. If nothing else, I could find solace in knowing it was probably the last event I would have to face him at.
“You never know what will happen,” she said. “Maybe by now, he has calmed down and thought about what I told him. Maybe the two of you can sit down and talk about everything. It’s a safe space. If one of you gets mad, you can just walk away, and the mood will be positive going into it. Plus, my sister won’t be there to mess anything up.”
“I almost feel like
it would be better if she were there because I could call her out in front of him,” I said. “But I think you are crazy to think that he will talk to me at all. You weren’t here when he broke up with me. He was so mad, and he wouldn’t listen to any reason at all.”
“No, I wasn’t here, but I was in his office watching him wither away with a bottle of whiskey, trying to drink you away,” she said. “And from what Jordan says, he hasn’t achieved his goal yet. Maybe because he’s worn down from missing you, he will be able to open up and listen to what you have to say. And if not, you just dance your night away and eat a layer of my cake, and you will forget all about it.”
“I really want some of that wedding cake,” I said. “Thanks for putting that in my head. I’m going to orgasm in front of your grandma tomorrow when I take a bite of it.”
“Well, considering she died several years ago, that might be weird.” She giggled.
“Meh, I’ve seen crazier things,” I said, laughing.
“I like that even through all of this, sitting on the floor, pregnant, brokenhearted, and sipping sparkling grape juice, you still have a sense of humor,” she said, smiling. “I would be eating my weight in carbs and then crying myself into a food coma every night. It would be really ugly.”
“That would be terrible,” I said, wrinkling my nose. “I really don’t like bread right now.”
“Does Nathan know about the baby yet?”
“No,” I said. “No one but you and my doctor know that I am pregnant. I haven’t even told my father yet because I don’t want to tell him the father of the baby split. He will be so disappointed in me.”
“Tell him you don’t know who the father is.” Lindsey laughed. “Then stand back and watch his eyes pop out of his head.”
“Oh, God.” I cringed. “He would go super crazy on me, like worse than the time he caught me and Billy hiding out in the tree house. He walked right up when Billy scooped up my boob. It was mortifying, and I thought my father was going to stroke out right there.”
“Yuck,” Lindsey said. “I remember Billy. I saw him about two months ago. Time has not been kind to him or his hairline.”
“Oh, gross,” I said.
“As far as the baby is concerned, I really think that maybe you should tell him, whether he wants to listen to you or not,” she said. “I know this is all really hard for you, and you don’t know exactly what to do, but I can promise you that you will feel better having everything finalized and settled. You will have closure, and I think that is what you will need in order to move forward in your life.”
