AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Thank you, Dr. Phil.” I laughed. “There is one serious problem with all of that.”
“What?”
“How am I supposed to tell him anything if I can’t get close enough to him to even talk to him? If he rejects my calls and ignores my texts, what makes you think that he will stand still long enough for me to tell him I’m having his baby?” I crossed my arms and sat back. “And who knows what he will do after I tell him? He might freak out and start yelling at me, calling me names and losing his mind in a whiskey-haze rage.”
“Then I would club him with a chair and toss his body in the coat room.” Lindsey chuckled. “There will be enough men there to lift his body. Then, I can let the hobo’s outside pick his pockets.”
“How did we go from telling him about the baby to assaulting him and handing him over to the homeless? I think you need to put down the champagne.” I laughed.
“I think that if he decided to drown himself in liquor and yell at a pregnant girl that he abandoned because he can’t think for himself, then he deserves the hobo treatment,” she said, nodding her head.
“You are so feisty tonight.” I laughed. “What has gotten into you?”
“I’m just tired of seeing you hurt,” she said. “I want to see you happy again, like you were a couple of months ago. That was the Amanda I remembered growing up. Not this sickly, depressed girl that needs pep talks. Not that I mind giving them.”
“I know,” I sighed. “You are totally right. I just don’t know how to pull myself out of this. I am miserable all the time, and I think about Nathan ninety percent of the day. I don’t know how I let a man get to me that badly.”
“Well, I think the first step is letting him know you are pregnant,” she said. “I know he has been a douche, but he still deserves to know you are bringing a child into this world with his DNA.”
I knew she was right. I knew that Nathan deserved to know about the baby. I wasn’t purposefully keeping it from him, but he wouldn’t take my calls or my texts. I was too afraid to go to his office and face him, so I sat back and stayed miserable. What he did to me hurt me so much, and I didn’t know if I could take letting him abandon me all over again, knowing he was abandoning his child, too. I didn’t know if I could handle being degraded over something that I never did and never had any intentions of doing. My hormones were so out of whack that there was even a possibility that I could blow up on him, or just burst into tears, losing my dignity in his office chair.
I still didn’t understand how a man that said he felt so strongly for me could believe the lies he was told so easily. He didn’t come to my house to talk to me about it, to try to see it from my point of view. He came there to break up with me. He didn’t listen to anything I said because he had already made up his mind. Sarah had poisoned John, and then John poisoned Nathan. It just kept going down the line until it landed on my damn doorstep.
I would have never reacted that way. I would have talked to him and given him a chance to explain everything. The damage had been done, and it wasn’t just a scrape or a bump. He had completely blown our relationship to smithereens. I had no idea how you could even fix things after he sat there and told me I was a gold digger. You can’t want to spend your life with someone one minute and then berate them and call them a liar the next. He was supposed to be my best friend, the person I walked through my life with, but he turned into my enemy at the drop of a hat. It was really unnerving and made me want to stay as far away from him at the wedding as possible.
After Lindsey had drank her last glass of champagne, we retired, wanting to get a good night’s sleep before the wedding. We had an early morning with hair, makeup, and a champagne breakfast before ever heading over to the event. Lindsey went to bed in my spare room, and I climbed into my bed, laying there staring out the window into the darkness. I must have laid there for hours before falling asleep, running through the different things I would say if I came face to face with Nathan. I tossed and turned all night long, getting barely any sleep at all. A beautiful event was now a place I didn’t want to be at all.
Chapter 24
Nathan
It never failed that every time there was something important going on in my life, I was more than fashionably late to it. Jordan’s wedding was probably already starting, and I was just pulling up and parking the car. I couldn’t seem to get my act together for even one day, and I knew it was all because I had to see Amanda that day. My nerves were through the roof, and my stomach was seasick from the alcohol I was trying to get out of my system.
I stood up out of the car and untucked my pant leg out of my sock, reaching in and grabbing my coffee. I downed it, trying to sober myself up as fast I possibly could. I tossed the empty cup in the back seat and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I was really glad that I had decided to shave, although my neck looked like I was attacked by a pack of wolves.
I didn’t drink that morning. Well, I didn’t drink much that morning, but mixed with what I drank the night before, I was having a hard time keeping myself upright and walking in a straight line. I knew it would be wrong to show up at the ceremony drunk, so I took two cold showers, ate a shit ton of fried food, and drank about six cups of coffee. I was definitely feeling soberer than earlier, and now, I was awake from the amount of caffeine pulsing through my veins.
I walked quickly across the parking lot, stopping and following the signs around to the entrance on the side. I didn’t want to make a grand entrance through the main doors, so I snuck in the side door and crept through the pews until I found a seat. Lindsey glanced over from the front and rolled her eyes at me, and I waved smiling. I scanned across the front, and there she was, standing next to Lindsey and Jordan. Amanda looked stunning, but she did everything she could to avoid direct eye contact with me.
The ceremony was a long, Catholic ceremony, and I sat there completely engrossed by the sight of Amanda. I stared at her the entire time, skimming my eyes over the curves she was showing in the tight, floor-length, rose-colored bridesmaid gown she was wearing. She kept her hands firmly in front of her body, clutching her bouquet of roses. I was as attracted to her now as I was when we were together. There was something about her that just absolutely glowed. Her skin looked rosy and shimmery, and her eyes glimmered in the lights over the front of the room. We weren’t in a church, but Lindsey had it decorated to look like one, including hanging a beautiful piece of stained glass from the ceiling.
Amanda smiled with every word that Lindsey and Jordan said to one another. She looked so happy that I wondered if she were happier without me in her life now. Maybe me being gone had brought something out in her that just made her radiant, or maybe that was how I always saw her and I just forgot in the haze of booze I had been in since I broke things off. I turned
my attention to the happy couple as they recited their vows.
“Lindsey,” Jordan said. “I promise to love you, cherish you, and watch over you all of the days of your life. I promise to be strong for you and be there when love is simple and when it is a challenge. I promise to hold you in my arms every night and thank God for the gracious gift he has given me.”
“Under the Grace of God and the Catholic Church, I now pronounce you husband and wife,” the priest announced. “You may kiss the bride.”
Everyone stood and clapped, watching the happy couple embrace. When the ceremony was complete, we made our way down the hall and into the elaborately decorated ballroom. As I walked in, I could see Amanda standing alone to the side, next to the door to the backroom. I knew it was now or never, so I approached her, hoping that she would be willing to talk to me.
“Can we talk?” I asked.
“Sure,” she said, pulling me into the room at the back that opened up to the lobby. “You’re an asshole.”
I looked around, but we were alone. I nodded in agreement but didn’t say anything. I could tell she had a lot of things to get off of her chest.
“How could you believe those lies about me, and never give me the chance to explain?” she asked. “They were blatant, hurtful lies, Nathan. I gave my heart and my trust to you, and you squashed it in an instant.”
