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I’m not even sure what it is, but it smells great. Actually, as I sit there I recognize that scent. I’ve had it enough times to know that before he even lifts up the lid. I know that it’s McDonald’s.
I laugh as I see that it is McDonald’s.
“So, you have a sense of humor?”
He asks, “The question is, are a Big-Mac girl or a chicken nugget child?”
“Really so, women that eat chicken nuggets are considered kids?”
He smirks, “I knew that you were a chicken nuggets kind of girl.”
“How’s that possible?”
“You look like a picker, the type that would snack on everything including their meal and miss out their chance of having a real burger.”
I laugh as he puts the nuggets on my plate with the fries and then he pours us glasses of red wine and I take a sip. Before I entered the room, I was nervous but as we
talk, eat and drink. I see a different side of him. Maybe, because we’re no longer in the room. No longer thinking about fucking each other’s brains out.
“We only have one fucking weekend, we should make the most of it.”
He waves his finger at me, as he smiles, “You’re quoting my words at me. Touché.” Then he lifts his glass up and toasts to me.
“Okay, seeing as you’ve had a bit too much wine. There’s something that I really need to know.”
“Why I have a playroom?”
I shake my head.
“Why I put myself for sale on the auction?”
I frown because that had crossed my mind once, but then it feels irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.
“Nope.”
“Okay, I give up. What’s been going through your pretty little head?”
As he pops the last fry into his mouth. I blurt out, “Okay so please explain to me why there are no pictures anywhere in this house.”
He makes that face again, the same one that he made when I was trying to talk to him on a personal level before when I entered the dining room.
“Because some things are too painful to face.”
“What do you mean?”
“My mom died of cancer and my dad hung himself.”
I’m expecting him to say something more, but he doesn’t the conversation ends like that and part of me is searching for a way to make it up to him. To make him see that it’s the past and this is the future, but it dawns on me once again.
We may have had sex, but it doesn’t mean that we know each other.
“I shouldn’t have asked and I’m sorry for doing so,” a line has been drawn between us and I question if I should leave now. I never know what to do in the best of times. Especially when it comes to the darkness that’s buried inside of Joshua. He confirmed it by the way he spoke about his parents. I want to ask about other family members, even crack a joke about how mine are alive and they know nothing about me.
They don’t know that I’m homeless and living with my bestie. I’m twenty-five, unemployed, overweight and I have no future.
“You see me and think that I have it all?” He's striking me as a man that loves to judge. He probably sees me as the rich, spoiled little girl. I start to get angry thinking that he doesn't know me at all.
He shakes his head, “No one has it all. It doesn’t exist.”
