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His answer surprises me.
“Some people are happy in their lives. They…”
“Stand up!”
I shake my head because I like the fact that we're open and for the first time in my life, I want to share my nightmares. But, just like that he completely switches.
“We don’t need to do this; we can talk.”
“We did that, and now I want to fuck.”
I hate the way that he’s so crude, he lets down his guard for two minutes, and right then he switches the table. Can he just not talk? Have a conversation and then have sex? But then maybe sex is his means of expressing how he feels. Maybe that's how we bond together when he’s in between my legs and not just his cock.
“I’m not repeating myself again, Scarlett!”
He’s no longer smiling or exchanging words as he was a few minutes ago. Now, he’s commanding me and making me feel uncomfortable. I want to tell him that I’m sorry. That I shouldn’t have interfered. Before I even get the chance to do that like a panther, he kicks over the chair that I once sat on and he’s holding me. It’s as if time stands still as I freeze. I’m debating in my mind if I should just use the safe word.
Then again, curiosity gets the better of me once again, and I want to know how far he’ll go. Will I push him that he will become violent or will he awaken from the dark cloud and realize that the past in the past. That was what he said, but judging by the lack of photos and his dismissal of the subject I get the impression that they were empty words.
He drags my dress off my body.
“Ah!”
I shout out, thinking that I need to say, Elsa. I need to use my safe word now.
Then he tugs at my bra and pulls it apart. It snaps at my back. I’m acting as if I know him in the short time that we’ve been together. I was with Sam for five years, and if someone had told me that he'd do the things that he did, I would have laughed in his face.
I know that any moment now. Joshua will stop.
Then he bends down and rips my thongs like they’re a piece of string.
I’m standing naked, not facing him, but the door. The one that I can run to so quickly, and he couldn’t stop me. I wouldn’t even need a safe word, and he would never see me again.
Never.
“Open your legs wider!”
He moves away from me, and I know that this is my chance. The plates are still on the table. The bottle of wine that we were drinking is nearly empty, but our glasses are half full. There’s nothing to keep me here. I could run through the kitchen.
My heart’s beating out of control as I watch him pass me. His eyes are on me; there’s no trace of anger as he moves slowly to the door.
Once he closes it, he growls, “You’re so fucking beautiful.”
Hearing him say the words and knowing that he’s calmed down makes me open my legs wider and shut my eyes. I love the darkness and the surprise of his touch. The idea that he can just take me whenever he wants was something that I never thought about until earlier today. When he told me to close my eyes, that’s when I discovered that it’s the most erotic thing in the world.
Not knowing what he’s going to do next.
“You’re learning fast. You seem to surprise me more than I even surprise myself this weekend.”
“What does that mean?”
“It’s as if you calm me. Whenever I feel tension, I just turn to you, and it seems to go away. Something that’s never really happened to me before.”
I smile, “Does it scare you?”
He laughs, “No, because I know that it’s only a weekend and maybe, it’s your golden hair that seems to calm me. It makes you appear innocent, but then you're far from it when you're screaming like a ”
Joshua unties my bun, and I feel the loose strands drop over my naked body.
