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She takes the flask away from me; I’d stopped and started more times than I cared to remember. When they took the car and my bike, I started once again, but then I stopped when I had another audition. Another wait. Another chance of not getting the job, I started again.
“Jesus! I didn’t even hear you creeping up behind me. Don’t fucking do that.”
“Don’t get drunk!” Her rouge lipstick flashes in front of me.
“I need this to work and so do you. No one’s knocking at your door. No one! You’re nearly dead in this industry, and this one movie could be the one that brings your name back into the spotlight.”
“Not my fault that people are so touchy.”
She came back towards me, “I’ve worked with you when you were a kid. A spoiled brat that thought that his big blue eyes and dark hair could keep him in work for life. But this industry isn’t like that. Do you know a number of wannabe actors there are out there?”
I nod my head, thinking that I’ve heard this speech so many fucking times that it’s giving me a headache. One caused by her shouting and my desperate need to finish off my gin in the flask.
“If you know then why did you do it?”
I feel like a kid in the principal’s office being told off for not doing his homework.
“Seemed like a good idea at the time. I needed to celebrate. Fuck, I thought that I wasn’t going to get the role. My bank account’s nearly zero; everything feels as if it’s on a downward spiral and for once I’ve been giving a fucking ray of sunshine. I had to do what I know how to do best. Drink!”
I had another choice of going to the bar that Valentina works out and seeing if she’s still there. I was kind of curious about whether she got the role or not? She was talking about an audition she had; maybe she got the role. I went past the bar a couple of times, but like a coward I never went in. Especially when it seems like the bartender has a thing for us. That guy must work every fucking day of the week. He’s always there.
“You’re twenty-three, when are you going to grow up? I stood by you when no one else wanted to work with you. I mean did you think that no one would find out?”
I shake my head, as she adjusts her pink wig and sighs as she takes the flask out of my hand.
“You can’t think that you’re a golden star and jump ship when it suits you.”
“It wasn’t like that. Acting’s fu
cking painful at times. Sometimes it works, and other times it’s hard to connect especially when the scripts so fucking shit.”
“Eric, that’s not your fucking problem. Your only concern is to star in the role. No fucking around and coming out with some lie. You’ll get caught. Get it!”
She’s pointing her finger at me, making it known that she’s not messing with me this time. She’s said that she’ll dump me before, but back then the money was so good that I knew that she'd stay with me. Right now, I know that she’ll leave. And if she does that then no one will work with me. That part I know for sure.
“It was stupid and the arrogant Eric, the one that thought he could do whatever he wanted is a thing of the past.”
I try and reassure her, tell her that I’ve learned my lesson. Having your cars seized, cards canceled and the possibility of a notice on your house puts everything into perspective, and I’m not going to let her down. Not again. She nods as her dark eyes look at me, “Look I get it. Since you were five, you were in the spotlight. Everyone wanted to work with you. It must be hard for you to be…”
I know she was trying to give me a pep talk. The one that my mom would give me if she were still around.
“Ever since your mom died…”
I hold out my hand, “Don’t go there. I just need this one break; it’ll work out.”
I feel as if they’re false words. I’m so fucking nervous as if my lifeline’s riding on this job and I’m suffocating at the idea that it’ll either completely break me or make me. I should go and just ask for Valentina. No one has made me feel that in tune with myself ever since that night. Just one night and fucking morning, yet I still can’t get her off my mind.
“Eric, you know if there’s anything that you need then don’t hesitate to ask. I’m here for you. Okay?”
I nod my head, “Sure.”
She waves the flask in front of me and says, “I told you if you’re nervous on a flight. Just sleep,” then takes my flask as she starts strutting back through my bedroom door.I know that she’s right, but I hate flying, and I need it. Like a newborn baby needs a bottle of milk. I want to go into the living room and get a bottle from behind the bar. But, no doubt she’s already made sure that there are no goodies behind there.
I get up from the chair at my dresser thinking that I’ll just keep my fucking shades on. They’ll hide the bags under my eyes. Last night after our celebrations at getting the job. Thank you, Chris Hemsworth, for getting injured while training out a little too much. If it weren't for him, then I wouldn’t be in this job.
I’ve spent four weeks on the sideline. I’ve done two readings in the space of the last couple of months. How things change in such a short space of time. Last year, they were all knocking at my door. Begging me to play a part in their movie. Not just any part, but the leading role.
One wannabe star was telling me that we should get away from it all. She led me astray, and I had a warning back then. She got me in trouble, and I’ve been on the sideline since then even though I had years of being on top. I won’t make that mistake again, no leading lady’s getting me in trouble. Especially the new ones. The ones that are just starting out.
