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Every time I look on the Net or step out on the street, I see her fucking name in lights. Where my name used to be. I’m not making that mistake again. Never.
Not if my fucking life depends on it. And it does at this rate, because if this movie doesn’t work out, then I know that I’ll be out of a job. Not only will I be out of work, but I’ll be kicked out of my house and broke, just like my parents used to be before I got into the movie business.
That ain’t fucking happening.
Never again.
Chapter Twelve
Valentina
I’ve been in Hollywood for over a year, and so far I’m living the dream. The one that everyone back home told me that I wouldn’t be able to do. They said that I was too short, too thin, too pale. There was nothing about me that was special, and girls like me only had one fate. There was only one thing that could make us special, and it had nothing to do with our talent on the screen.
I went to high school to get a diploma and then I set my eyes on the big screen. I’ve always wanted to be an actress ever since I had my first solo in the production of Beauty and the Beast. There was something about being the star on the stage that started hunger deep down inside of me. I had to get out of my small town. If I didn’t then, I would end up like every girl there and I wanted more than that. I deserve it. Everyone deserves a second chance in life, and I knew that from the moment I left home.
My mom shouted, “Once you leave Valentina don’t come back.”
I slammed the door shut knowing that I had no choice, she wouldn’t let me go back home. I had to know what it was like outside of Minnesota. I’d never been on a bus, let alone a plane and I needed to see what was out there. My dad didn’t even bother to say goodbye. He’d called me a disgrace and a whore the moment I told them that I wanted to be an actress.
I’d been brought up in a strict Catholic household; my parents had already decided who I was going to marry from the time I hit fifteen.
The wedding was planned for my twenty-first birthday. A surprise my dad liked to call it. He had no idea that he was the one that was going to get the surprise when I decided to call off the wedding. I went to see Ross. He was pretty much like me. He’d been brought up to take over the family car showroom business. I would be his wife, and our lives were pretty much planned by everyone, but not us.
There was no love between us; mom had reassured me that it would take time. I knew that if I’d gone down the aisle, I’d regret it for the rest of my life. I went to see Ross, I told him that I had dreams, ‘You’re a fool, Valentina White. Not worthy of being my wife.’
With those words, I knew that I had to get out of there. I had a little money from the odd jobs that I’d done at some of the neighbor's houses. Such as babysitting, baking and even cleaning at times. I never told my parents that sometimes the neighbors gave me money. That was my little secret. I knew that the time would come when the money would come in handy, and it did the moment I walked through the door.
I look in the mirror one more time before I go downstairs to get in the car that the agency said would pick me up to take me to the airport. I can’t believe that my dream’s finally coming true. I didn’t think that it would do because everyone in Hollywood wants to be a star. It’s so disheartening to find out that what I thought would be so easy, is turning out to be a lot harder than I expected it would be. I shake my head at my father’s words as I left the house, “All those women are whores, do you think that they get the jobs based on their talent?”
I knew what he was referring to, sleeping with producers. I’m a good girl; I have no intention of getting fame and fortune just to forsake the one thing that I’ve been holding on to so dearly. The car comes to pick me up to go to the airport. I know very little about who I’m staring with in the movie seeing as I have the leading role. I still can't believe that I've not only got a part, but the leading one. I just hope that he’s not too big a star and can support me as much as possible.
No mind turns to Eric. The one that spent the whole night and morning with me and then treated me as if I was an inconvenience to him. I know that our paths will cross again. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, but if this movie’s going to be as big as they say that it’s going to be then, I’ll see him.
Maybe, I’ll be the one calling him a taxi at the end of the night. If he did ask me to fuck him again. Would I say no?
Never.
Because, as much as I try and think of him as being a jerk. I’ve been in love with him for too long as his number one fan. Maybe Harper’s right and I need to get rid of my infatuation. The problem is as much as I try and dismiss it, I’ve had it for most of my life, and that’s not something that you get over in a heartbeat.
“Ms. White?”
The driver asks as he steps out of the l
imo. I’ve been sitting outside a different apartment building for the last ten minutes. I felt too embarrassed to have him come inside, and I certainly didn’t want him to know where I lived, not that it would make a different to him. This part could be the start of change. Something new. Something good.
I nod, “Yes. I’m Valentina White. Please call me, Valentina. Ms. White reminds me of my mom,” I smile at him, but he doesn’t realize that it’s a really bad thing to be thought of us her. The one that slapped me and called me a whore when I said that I didn’t want to marry Ross. She told me not to come back; she’ll see that I’m a star and what’s she got to say about it then?
Nothing.
He smiles as he takes off his hat and bows, I notice that he’s a lot younger than I expected him to be. I just think of drivers as being old men, maybe I’ve watched one too many movies.
“Is that it?”
He points to my small case. I’m going to be onset for four weeks, but I came to the city with dresses like the one that I’m wearing now. I can’t afford anything else in the city. Everything’s too expensive. I have a couple of jeans and a few shirts that’ll have to do while I’m on location. I only have one set of boots, and that prompted my first question about going away for a while. I was relieved when I was told that my wardrobe would be provided for the set. I gathered that it would work out that way, but apart from the big script that I have to study and only came to the bar yesterday. I don’t know how this thing works. I know that I just have to be patient.
I lost my job at the bar. As soon as I told Janice that I’d be gone for four weeks, she said coldly, “You’ll be replaced you know that. And when you come back. Because you will come back and I won’t be able to help you.”
Harper said that she would help me. She was so damn proud, just as I am right now going on this trip. My first time on a plane. This whole journey’s going to be wild. I wonder if I should have gone to Eric’s house and asked him for some tips.
