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“No,” I said, scrambling. I wished that I was a much better liar than I really was, for probably the thousandth time over the last couple of days. “Just a cut on my hand that salt didn’t help with at all. Also, can I get you something? Another cup of coffee?”
“Nope, I already had my coffee for today.”
“Something else then?” I asked. “Are you still a Dr. Pepper fan?”
“I am, but I don’t want one of those, either.”
“All right, but we’re reaching the end of the things I know for a fact you like. Maybe it would be easier if you just told me what you’d like?”
“I came here for you, actually,” he said.
“For me? I don’t get it.”
“You told me last night that if I wanted to see more of you, I knew where to find you. You did say that, right? Please tell me I didn’t hallucinate that because that would be so embarrassing.”
“No,
you didn’t. I just, I guess I didn’t expect you to show up here.”
“That’s fair,” he said. “Is it that you didn’t want me to show up? You can tell me if that’s it. I’m a big boy, I can handle it.”
It was such a shockingly honest question that it caught me completely off guard. The Neil I had known before he’d left Ashville for good had always had his eyes forward. He’d always been looking to move forward. It was the thing that had made him almost frighteningly ambitious, but it had also made him sort of blind to the way the things he did affected other people.
I didn’t have time to sit down and think it all through with him sitting there and looking at me. It didn’t help that Courtney was staring me down from behind. But I was pretty sure there had never been a time that Neil had asked me anything that pointed to any level of introspection. I didn’t think that he had ever asked me something as simple as whether I wanted him around or not. It wasn’t a bad question to be asked, but I also had no idea how I was supposed to answer it. I was so thrown off that I was actually grateful when Courtney spoke up for me.
“Nope, not to worry, Neil. There’s no issue there.”
“You sure about that?” he asked Courtney, laughing like it was no big deal but not quite able to get rid of the weird little shake his voice had taken on. “I can’t say this is how people usually act when they’re happy to see me.”
“Well, she’s not your average girl, now is she? You’ve known her for as long as I have, buddy. You should know that full well.”
“You’re right about that,” he said. “She’s certainly not average.”
Even though we were smack dab in the middle of Alaska, I felt myself growing hot all over. The way he talked about me gave me goosebumps. And those eyes. It felt like his eyes were reading everything about me, and I was sure he hadn’t blinked once since this strange conversation began. I’d told him to come and find me if he wanted to see more of me, not to try and take me home from some bar. Now that he’d actually done it, I had no idea what I was supposed to do. You would have thought he was a total stranger, and in a lot of ways, he kind of was. I had no idea what I was supposed to say, stranger or not. I wasn’t even sure what he wanted. So far, he hadn’t told me anything aside from the fact that he’d come there to see me and only for that. Once he made it clear that he didn’t even want something as simple as a Dr. Pepper, I was pretty much at a loss as to what I was supposed to do.
“So are you going to ask her out or what?” Courtney asked.
“Courtney!” I practically shrieked, totally mortified that she would come right out and ask a question like that.
She was talking like I wasn’t even there in the same room, which made me feel like a total idiot. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Apparently, whatever was going on here didn’t even need to involve me. I was almost afraid to look at Neil. I didn’t want to see what his face must look like with Courtney talking to him like that. When he spoke, I was about ready to go back to hiding behind the countertop, just so that I didn’t have to be a part of whatever awful thing was about to happen.
Neil grinned. “You know? That’s what I was trying to get to, but I guess I can see your point. I wasn’t doing a very good job, was I?”
“I don’t know,” Courtney answered in that sly, falsely innocent voice she had, that always made me think she was up to no good. “That sort of depends on how many months you were planning on taking to do it. If you were trying to really draw it out, then you’re right on track.”
“All right, all right. I see what you’re saying. Do I have your permission then? To take her out?”
“My permission?” Courtney asked gleefully. “Oh man, I like the sound of that. I wish more people would ask me that kind of thing.”
“Um, guys?” I interjected. “You know I’m standing right here, don’t you?”
Courtney only laughed again, which was good for lightening the mood. But it also kind of made me want to kill her. Neil had the good grace to flush a little, which made me feel better for some weird reason. If I was going to be uncomfortable, it only seemed fair that somebody else had to be also. He cleared his throat and looked at me again, this time with his eyes that were serious enough to bring my goosebumps back.
“I’m sorry, Fay. I’m not doing a very good job of this. If you want to know the truth, I don’t spend much time asking women out.”
“Ha!” Courtney snorted from behind us, making her opinion on the truthfulness of that statement easily known.
I thought Neil might look away from me and go back to bantering back and forth with my friend, but this time, her words didn’t even faze him. As far as he was concerned, she might not even have existed. Nobody did, aside from me, which was a pretty weird feeling when I reminded myself that this was Neil Driscoll I was talking to.
