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“I will, thank you,” I replied, turning and walking toward the lounge.
I knew that if I broke down right there, if I told this young girl the situation, she might go out of her way to make it happen. However, as I clutched my stomach, feeling a bit nauseated again, I knew there was no way that I could give her all that information. Hailey and I were the only ones that knew about the baby, and I wanted to keep it that way. I knew that if she knew, she might slip up and say something to Cameron, or even tell Brian.
I walked over to the doors and looked out the windows at the darkening sky. The ski slopes were busy still, the night skiers taking advantage of the good weather. It wasn’t quite as busy in Aspen as it had been around Christmas, but it was definitely still bumping. There was a strange feeling in my chest, like the feeling I had been having in my dreams of Cameron. It was like I could almost feel him thinking about me. I shook the thoughts from my head, knowing it was silly, and it had to be my hormones messing with me. Whatever the reason for my racing mind, I knew that finding Cameron would be the first step at stopping it. After that, it would all depend on how he reacted to the news that he was going to be a father.
As much as I wanted to run into him, I hadn’t even really thought about how I was going to deliver the news. I didn’t want to send him running off for the hills, but at the same time, I wanted to be upfront and honest with him. This was going to be a huge shock for him, probably even larger than the jolt it gave me. I was anxious about it, but it was a wasteful emotion since I wasn’t any closer to finding him than I was before. I shook my head and went into the guest bathroom to the right, peeing for the hundredth time that day and washing my face off with cool water.
I stared at my pale complexion in the mirror and hoped that the nausea I was feeling wasn’t going to come back full force. The last thing I wanted was to be stuck in a hotel in Aspen all weekend, puking my guts out. Everything had happened so fast and out of the blue that maybe taking a small weekend away from life wasn’t at all that bad of an idea. Hailey had been so worried about my mental state that she had barely left my side for the last week. I had taken some time away from work, not finding the ability to bring any creativity to the surface. Although having Hailey with me was a Godsend, I really did need some time alone to really think about everything and make a plan for the future. Whether I found Cameron or not, this baby was going to make its arrival in less than nine months. I had to start thinking about that and the fact that I needed to get prepared for it. Luckily, I wasn’t the girl that had to worry about where to live or financial stability. I had a great job and a beautiful home. Those things were just foundations, though, and there were a lot of factors that went into raising a child, one of which included having a father figure in the picture.
I pulled the paper towels from the dispenser and dried off my face, balling them up and tossing them in the trashcan. I walked back out of the bathroom and across the lobby toward the lounge. However, as I passed the receptionist, she called out for me.
“I think I might have something that can help you,” she whispered. “I can see it in your eyes that whatever reason you need to find them, it is really important to you. It won’t help you right this second, but Glen and Cameron are already booked for the same time next year. He will be back for Christmas and New Year’s.”
“Thank you,” I replied, not feeling any better. “I appreciate you going out on a limb and letting me know that. If I can’t find anything out from the bartender, then I will come and make reservations for next year.”
“Okay,” she said, smiling. “I’m glad I could help in some way.”
I took in a deep breath and walked toward the lounge, hoping it was Brian like I had expected. When I walked through the doorways, Brian looked up from the bar, a big smile crossing his lips. He wiped his hands and put the towel down, coming from behind the bar and hugging me tightly.
“Bea,” he said. “This is definitely a surprise. You look great. How are things?”
“They are interesting.” I laughed, walking with him toward the bar. “But my life seems to always fall under that category.”
“How is Hailey?”
“She’s good,” I said. “Getting back into the swing of working and taking care of my sporadic rear end.”
“You’ll have to tell her I said hi,” he replied.
“I’ll definitely do that.” I smiled. “Brian, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure, anything,” he said.
“You became friends with Cameron, right?”
“Yeah, I mean, as much as I could with a guy that pretty much stayed to himself.” He chuckled. “He was a different guy when he was around you.”
“How do you mean?”
“He was alive, happy, smiling,” he said. “I have seen him here four straight seasons in a row, and he has never laughed like he did when you were around.”
“That’s sweet,” I said, blushing. “Well, did you happen to get a numb
er for him? Or maybe a name that I could use to look him up?”
“No,” he said, making my heart sink. “Unfortunately, he left before I could connect with him again. I heard that he’s coming back next season, though.”
“Yeah, the receptionist told me that,” I said, sinking down on the stool.
“Do you want a drink? Maybe your normal?”
“No, no,” I said, breathing deeply. “Actually, could I have a big glass of ice water with lemon?”
“Sure,” he replied. “You know, when my sister was expecting, she used to chug down lemon water like it was the end of the world. Funny thing was, she never actually liked lemon until then.”
“Crazy.” I chuckled, wondering if he knew.
“You’re not pregnant, are you?” He laughed, not even waiting for an answer.
