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CHAPTER ONE
Macy
“Macy, hurry up and get ready. Our car will be here at any minute.”
I sigh as I stare at myself in the mirror.
I’m really not in the mood to be dragged around a bunch of bars tonight, but my friend, Tanya, isn’t giving me much choice in the matter. What she says goes, generally. I guess I could say no, but I’m kind of a people pleaser, especially when it comes to my best friend.
“You look amazing!” she says, coming up behind me in the mirror and staring at our reflections, though I get the feeling she’s looking at herself and not me.
Out of the two of us, she's the beauty. Tall, and slim.
Me? I’m short and stumpy, with curves in all the wrong places, and unruly brown curls that spill over my shoulders. Whenever I’m next to Tanya, it’s impossible to feel attractive.
I fiddle with my hair and inspect my makeup.
“I don’t think this is a good idea, Tanya. I’ve never been to a bar before,” I murmur.
I guess I’m also the goody two shoes out of the both of us. I’ve never been out drinking before, never let a drop of alcohol pass my lips either. But I’m twenty-one now, so Tanya is insisting that I grow up and go out with her. I know it’s mostly because her other friends are all in relationships now, and as the only single one, I can be a companion. But the problem is, Tanya is going to be snatched up in no time at all whether it’s a girls night out or night.
And then where does that leave me? But she wouldn’t leave me alone, right?
“You’ll learn how to act soon enough,” Tanya insists, waving me off. “You just need to chill, Macy. Guys don’t like uptight girls.”
I blush.
She knows how desperately I want to find someone. Not necessarily on this night out, but at some point soon. The only thing I’ve ever wanted in life is to be loved by the man of my dreams. And maybe I’m shallow, but when I picture him, he’s tall, dark, and handsome.
The kind of man that could sweep a big girl like me off my feet with ease.
The kind of guy who doesn’t make me feel ugly the way the rest of the world does, and someone who loves me wholly and completely.
I don’t think that’s a lot to ask for, but I guess the fact that I’ve never even been kissed says otherwise.
But then again, I’m not just looking for any man to settle down with. I want to be with the one, and until I find him, no one else will do. I’m not going to settle for a guy just because he happens to take an interest in me. There has to be that undeniable spark, that chemistry that can’t be calculated or forced. It has to be organic and it has to be special.
Okay, so maybe now I’m asking for way too much but it doesn't hurt to have some half-formed version of love in my mind right?
I just hope that when I find the man I want, he’ll understand what I’m after.
“Macy, let’s go!” Tanya says, grabbing my arm and pulling me up out of my chair.
I get a glimpse in the mirror of our bodies side by side and I wince.
How can I possibly leave the house with a girl half my width and expect a man to want me? Plus, Tanya has forced me into this tight black dress that pushes my boobs up and makes my ass look enormous, my hips bulging out of the fabric.
I feel grotesque.
I feel as though she’s drawn attention to all of my worst features, putting them on display like some kind of circus freak. It’s easy for her when she’s so gorgeous. She doesn’t understand. She’ll never understand…
But before I can protest any further, she’s dragging me out of her apartment and onto the street where our Uber awaits. I try not to look as miserable as I feel as we get into the car and we’re taken into the center of the city.
I’ve just got to survive a few hours before I can make some excuses and head home. Who knows maybe it won’t be as bad as I think. Maybe I’ll actually end up meeting a man that I like…
But when we pull up outside a noisy bar filled with neon lights, and a large crowd I feel sick. This kind of place is my worst nightmare. All hopes of actually being able to talk to someone leave me the longer I look. Guys will take one look at me and head straight for Tanya. She knows how to entice them with her swaying hips and her lustful smile. Meanwhile, I’ll be left alone with a drink I don’t even want, wondering what the hell I’m doing here in the first place.
