Page 6 of Give Love a Chance


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“So what was the point of this talk, then?” she repeated, not wanting to get sidetracked.

“I want us to try again. I am not leaving,” he stated with an easy grin, as if all of the past had just disappeared in a puff of smoke. If only it was that easy. “I retired from the military. I am ready to settle down with you. I have a steady job in Cole County with the SWAT team. Isn’t that what you always wanted?”

She blinked several times. Was she hearing him right? Now, when it was too late, he was ready to settle down? “Yes, but you said your military career was the most important thing in your life.”

He shook his head. “At one time it was. I achieved a lot, but I am tired of the back and forth, traveling to countries filled with war and death. I am ready for something new. I want you to be part of my life. I spent the last six months thinking about this.”

“Just like that I am supposed to forget these last miserable months? I want to move on with a clean slate, not go backwards, Chance. I wasn’t important enough to you last year to stick around, so why am I now?” she said scornfully. She heard the bitterness in her voice, but she couldn’t hold it in and hide it. One small conversation was not going to fix that.

“I regret the fact that I didn’t do more to show you how much I do care for you. Maybe I was unsure about giving up the only career I have known. I am not anymore. I missed you. I ached for you. These last months apart showed me how much I do want a life with you,” he insisted, sounding sincere. She was tempted to throw herself in his arms and say oh yes, but that would be unrealistic. There was so much he didn’t know. She wasn’t brave enough to tell him yet. She would have to soon, but not today.

“Have your feelings for me died completely?” he asked, looking vulnerable. She wasn’t sure how to respond. Had her love for him been so obvious all along? Probably. She never tried to hide how deeply she felt for him. She may not have been brave enough to say the words out loud, but the feeling had been there from day one.

She bit her lip. She couldn’t lie. It might have been easier to fib, but she couldn’t. Not to him. “No, Chance. Unfortunately love does not die so easily. My parents never loved me, but I loved them. I kept hoping for a change of heart until the day they died. The moment you almost ran into me with your motorcycle I looked into your eyes and I fell hard, literally and figuratively. I didn’t say the words out loud because I was scared of your rejection. I showed you by allowing you in to my already battered heart, and by trusting you. The feelings are still there, but I can’t allow you to hurt me again.”

He gave her a sad look, remembering their first meeting more than a year ago. “I picked you up off the ground intending to give you a stern lecture about not daydreaming when crossing the street. I looked into your hazel eyes and took care of you instead. I knew I was a goner then. I knew I had deep feelings for you, Noelle, but I wouldn’t allow myself to say it. I pushed it away and made excuses. Like you said, that would make everything more serious. But months apart showed me that I want you in my life forever, Noelle. There has to be a way to work this out.”

Noelle blinked back tears and leaned

her head back against his seat for a second. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could give him a partial truth for now. The baby was too painful of a subject to bring up right now. “Chance, after you left when Carly was walking around town telling everyone her lies I fell apart. I refused to go anywhere besides work. I was practically a prisoner in my own home. It was an ugly mess. I couldn’t function. I am just now learning to put one foot in front of the other. I can’t allow you to hurt me like that again. I can’t do it.”

“I will not hurt you again, Noelle,” he swore, looking pale at what she was saying. “I have changed. I have realized what is important to me. A life with you and our future children.”

“I just can’t take a risk like that,” she apologized, feeling bad. The word children made her heart stop for a second. She thought she was done grieving. Now she felt like she was back to square one. Months of separation filled her with fear. She felt like he was asking her to jump off a plane with no parachute. She shivered at the thought of feeling that intense pain that had become part of her everyday life.

He sighed with frustration. “Maybe I am expecting too much. You know how I am. I make a plan, and I want it to fall in place.”

Noelle shook her head, looking out the window. The park was mostly empty, and she was glad for that. A few joggers ran past, but no one paid them any attention. “If only life were that easy, Chance.”

“Can we start off being friends? I just don’t want you to ignore me or run away every time you see me. I don’t want to be your enemy, Noelle, no matter how much I deserve it,” he begged. “I start my new job in Cole County tomorrow morning. I know I’ll need time to learn the ropes. Can we meet for lunch next week and just talk? No pressure about getting back together. Just don’t avoid me.”

Noelle looked at the face of the man she loved. He had more lines around his eyes and a new scar above his eyebrow. She knew these last months apart had been no walk in the park for either of them. She could be bitchy and refuse to forgive him knowing they both had made mistakes. She had nagged a lot, always wanting her way, and he had gotten angry and walked away instead of staying and working things out.

She didn’t want to just fall in line with his plans either and pretend the last year, the pain, the agony hadn’t happened. He couldn’t waltz into town with a pretty apology and just pick up their relationship as if nothing happened.

“Okay. I can handle being friends I suppose.” She hoped she was telling the truth. She didn’t want to be his enemy, but at the same time, she didn’t just want to fall back where they left off either. He let out his breath as if he had been holding it. He kissed her knuckles and started his truck to take her back to her car. Noelle didn’t notice the scenery. She was lost in her thoughts. Even allowing him in a little was a dangerous path. Yet, she couldn’t deny the excitement that bubbled deep in her belly. Was she an addict? Even knowing the pain he brought, she still ached to be around him. She hoped this wasn’t a mistake.

* * * *

After she got home that evening, she decided to get her mind off things by doing some gardening. The smell of the roses and all the pretty colors of the wild flowers soothed her troubled thoughts. The activity always left her feeling calm. Her garden had become like an oasis to her. She spent many hours back here in the last few weeks. It was a quiet and peaceful place. Her colorful sanctuary. She had even bought a bench to sit on.

The large three-bedroom house was filled with good and bad memories, but it was all she knew, so it also gave her security. She had gotten rid of some of the old furniture throughout the years and put her own stamp to the house. She had been shocked to find her parents had insurance and left the house and money to her. She had used the money to open her store.

As she was digging up some weeds, she felt the hair on the back of her neck stick up. She looked around her yard and saw no one. The tall wooden fence didn’t allow her to see into her neighbor’s yard, but she still felt spooked. It was quiet, too quiet. This was the second time she felt this. Was she just being paranoid? The last couple of days had been a strain on her physically. Maybe that was all it was.

She stood up and took off her gardening gloves. Leaving everything there for tomorrow, she went inside to shower.

First, she made sure her doors and windows were locked. Hopefully she was just feeling unsettled because Chance was back and she had been in such an emotional turmoil in the last week. Willow Springs was a safe town. Nothing much ever happened here.

She went upstairs and got in the shower. Thoughts of Chance with her in the past invaded her mind despite her best efforts to not think of him. Her breasts felt swollen as she thought of the many times he had soaped his hands and washed every square inch of her body, starting with her breasts. Her nipples hardened into pointy tips, and she moaned as the soapy washcloth touched them. It would be so much better if Chance’s hands were caressing her. He was such an amazing lover, putting her pleasure first.

She loved getting on her knees and pleasuring him until he came in her mouth. Now her pussy felt achy and needy, too. His cock was thick and long, and she loved tasting him and loved having him inside of her body. It was pure heaven, and being without him was pure hell. Frustration built up inside her until she wanted to sob and pound her fists on the shower walls. She wanted to pick up the phone and ask if this new friendship came with benefits.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Noelle,” she muttered. “You don’t want him back. Remember he betrayed you.”

Her body just didn’t care. It wanted relief. And only one man could give it to her. The one man who had the power to destroy her soul. She went back down to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine. Hopefully it would relax her enough to fall asleep. Thinking of Chance was just too overwhelming and confusing.

She could handle his friendship without falling for his seductive charms again. She hoped she wasn’t lying about how confident she felt.

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