AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Thinking about what she said I realized how true it was. I had said little about Kerry or my feelings for him. I had kept my feelings for her dad private locked away in my heart. They weren’t for sharing with anyone else especially not our daughter. Keegan needed to have a positive image of him so I left it to Esther who had done a good job of bringing Kerry to life for her. Saying too much would have confused her because I wouldn’t have been able to hide my feelings from her. This way, Keegan knew only that I harbored no bad feelings towards her father.
“Mom, what attracted you to Dad?” Keegan asked bringing my focus back on her.
“I’ve known him my entire life Keegan,” I began. “He knew me when I was fat and thin. Kerry never judged me for how I looked. We were friends from the time we met in Kindergarten and he was in first grade. He always seemed to be looking out for me when the boys were making fun of me. I think I loved him a little even then.” I smiled a sad little smile thinking of the unruly boy from the wrong side of the tracks who melted my little heart with his smile which at the time was missing several teeth.
“My freshman year he started to pay more attention to me even though I was still overweight. At the end of sophomore year he asked me out on a date. I was so insecure because of my weight but he always made me feel better about myself.”
“Why so long?”
“Because he was shy. Kerry was so soft spoken. I loved listening to him speak and could he sing,” it was a statement not a question. “Did Grandma ever tell you that?” I asked dreamily thinking about Kerry sitting in the back of his pick-up truck with a guitar and a beer serenading me under many a moonlit sky in an open field on my grandfather’s farm near the creek. You could hear the water rushing after the spring rains were heavy in April and May.
“She told me he had a nice voice.”
“I loved his eyes too. Every feeling Kerry McCoy ever had is revealed in his eyes. He wouldn’t make a good poker player.”
“Do you think he has changed?” My daughter asked.
Seriously I considered her question then I replied without a doubt in my mind, “No. Keegan, he isn’t a bad person. Never was. He made mistakes.”
Granted he was more mature than I remembered but Kerry McCoy still had an old soul. He was still compassionate and kind. He still had a great voice, eyes that could pierce your heart and soul and the best ass I’ve ever had the pleasure of viewing and I still loved the man. Dammit! The thought brought a nervous beat to my heart and my stomach tingled with anticipation. There was just one problem. I was married to James Ellerton.
“Keegan, I think he’s the same man he was then…honorable.” I wanted my daughter to understand her father. He felt he had no choice. We had put him in that position. I wasn’t excusing him but I wanted her to understand him. Yancy had let him know he was from the wrong side of the tracks once too often for that I had a lot of resentment.
“He is trying to do the right thing now. Hearing about you and not being able to see you except for your pictures has been hard on him too.”
“I know,” Keegan replied staring out the window once again, “but he should have tried to see me.”
Glancing quickly at my daughter I felt her pain but I knew that she needed to understand, “Kat, try to forgive him and move on as soon as you can. You have a chance to make something with him now. We all make mistakes. God knows I’ve made a few.”
“A few?”
“Thanks Keegan. Give him a chance to make it up to you Kitty Kat. I don’t think you will be sorry.”
Keegan smiled at me but didn’t respond. She went back to staring out the window watching the landscape pass by.
#
I turned the SUV into my driveway and pulled along the side the farmhouse, which was dark in front and could only mean that James was in his study at the back of the house as his Lexus was parked in the driveway. I knew that he was home. He knew we were going to be here tonight so he would be nowhere but here. He was petty. He was a mean spirited man. James would want to make me as miserable as possible tonight for hanging up on him.
Kat and I retrieved our bags from the car. I unlocked the heavy oak front door and went inside shutting it behind me wishing that I were glad to be home. Tiredness from driving was overwhelming so I was relieved to be home but not happy about it. James had to have heard us moving about downstairs as some of the floorboards creaked with our weight as we made our way up the stairs to the second floor.
Keegan kissed me on the cheek at her bedroom door. Then I waited for her to go in her room before continuing down the hardwood-floored hallway to my own room. The house was open and airy with the hardwood floors and no colored walls. The house was beautiful and old but I would have decorated the place more had James been more cooperative. I just didn’t love being here with him. I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach waiting for him.
In my bedroom I closed the door behind me and laid the suitcase on the bed. I was hanging up clothes when James entered the room. He was silent as he passed by with his head held high and his eyes blocks of cold ice. He was going to give me the silent treatment, which wasn’t always a bad thing but this behavior made Kat uncomfortable. She felt as if we were walking on eggshells when James was silent. We were always waiting for the ensuing explosion, which never failed to occur.
“Hello James,” I said deciding not to be ignored.
He ignored me anyway. Continuing to unpack my clothing I decided to tell him that I would be returning to Hell for my mother’s surgery. This statement would loosen his tongue I was sure. He wouldn’t be happy about me leaving him again so soon.
“My mother will be having surgery the week after Thanksgiving, I will be returning to Hell with Kat,” I informed him.
“I think with three sisters locally one of them could be with your mother,” he spoke up unable to keep his mouth shut as I had expected. James was predictable if nothing else.
I hung the clothes I was holding in the closet smoothing between them to avoid wrinkles. Luckily, we had two walk in closets in the master suite so that James and I could have separate closets.
“They will be there too…once she tells them. If your mother had breast cancer you would be there for her.”
“Do whatever you like Gabrielle. I couldn’t stop you anyway,” he said in a defeated tone used to make me feel guilty.
