AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Nice try James I thought to myself. He was a master at manipulating my emotions. Already I felt the guilt creeping up inside me. I pushed it out of my mind. When my mother needs my sisters and me at this time in her life I will make her my priority. I will not feel guilty because of you.
“Do you think it wise for Keegan to be out of school again so soon?” He asked as if he were really concerned.
You don’t think I would leave her with you? I thought to myself but I said, “Wise or not she is going with me.”
“I assume she will be seeing McCoy again?”
“Actually she will be seeing him frequently and he will be calling her.”
“It is a shame that she wouldn’t allow me to be a father to her so that she wouldn’t need him. He is unneeded stress in our marriage.”
His ridiculous notion that Kat wouldn’t allow him to be a father made me want to laugh out loud.
Incredulously I replied, “I don’t think a father would call his daughter some of wonderful names that you’ve called Kat over the years so I don’t think you can entirely blame my child for her not liking you.”
He glared at me. “And I’m sure she loved McCoy right off the bat didn’t she?” He asked in a sneering manner, which only infuriated me. He took a few steps closer to me.
James knew what buttons he could use to light my fuse and he was close to lighting it tonight. Then he would go to bed and leave me to stew while he snored softly deep asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
“Actually James. They have a long road ahead to build a solid relationship but they’ve made a good start which is what my daughter needs at this time of her life. Keegan has some hurt to get over before she will completely trust in him. Hurt, which you in part have caused her with your snide comments and poor behavior towards her. She’s not very trusting of men.”
“You mean he’s not Saint McCoy yet in the kid’s eyes?” James asked sarcastically ignoring my slur against him.
A few steps closer. I found myself backing away.
“No he isn’t and in her eyes you aren’t Satan either but you’re damn close,” I responded with equal sarcasm.
“I came in here quietly so you and I wouldn’t argue and look what you’ve done,” he declared vehemently.
His eyes flashed with anger bordering on wild. “You’ve started another argument.”
He was close. In my face close. I pushed his buttons daring him to lay a finger on me. He hadn’t. Would he? I didn’t know if he could be pushed that far not that I wanted him to hurt me. I had never thought about physical pain with James only the emotional abuse he had heaped on me. Now I was a little scared.
Standing so close, I could see in his hard, emotionless eyes that he actually believed that I was the root of all our problems. He saw no blame within his own actions. I refused to back down. I pushed the fear back and stepped closer to him shoving him away out of my space with my hand. I could see the redness of his anger creep up his neck to his hairline.
“I started this argument without any help from you didn’t I?” I snapped at him feeling my own anger bubbling up inside me.
He was back to ignoring me. James moved away from me as quickly as he had gotten in my face. Crawling in between the sheets in his flannel pajamas he turned his back on me. Pansy ass went through my mind but it gave way to have it your way? You wear old man pajamas like my Pop. I bet Kerry doesn’t wear flannel pajamas to bed?
No sense in starting World War III. No sense in pushing him to violence. I had seen it in his eyes. He was struggling with the anger in his body. His fists had been clenched. The wild, crazy almost beyond reason look in his eyes was there and I was poking the beast. What the hell was I doing?
Silently I continued to hang up my clothing and then I threw the others that I had worn in Hell down the laundry shoot. When I was done in the bedroom I went to James’ bathroom and filled the tub with steaming, hot water and a bubbly floral scented bath wash from Bath & Body Works. Undressing I sunk my body down deep into the luxurious bubbles. My hair was piled on top of my head in a mass of thick, tangled curls.
The antique clawed foot bathtub was large and even though I was tall I had adequate space to relax. I used this time to push all thoughts of James out of my head. The time had come for me to figure out how the hell to end this fiasco I called my marriage so that I could find my way back to Kerry McCoy.
I found myself wondering what I would do with the horses living in Hell, with my mother if James would even allow me to take them. He could be that cruel that he would insist we couldn’t take Spider and Moose. I would have to fight him, I thought. What would I do with all my belongings? They wouldn’t fit in Yancy’s house. They would have to be put in storage. Where could I get a job in Hell? I hadn’t worked in six years. James had not wanted me to work. Damn, the thoughts tumbling through my mind.
Finally, unable to calm down, I climbed out the tub. In the bedroom, I padded on bare feet to the bed wearing my usual sweatshirt and shorts. My hair was damp at the nape of my neck where the water had splashed it but I didn’t care too tired to worry about it.
When I rested my head against the pillow I could feel James turn over the mattress shifting with his weight. Inwardly, I cringed hoping that he wouldn’t scoot closer to me or put his arm around me. James was strong. His arm snaked around my waist and he pulled me tight against him. He was hard. Oh hell no. His desire for me evident against my ass and that thought made me want to run back to the bathroom and vomit until my stomach was empty. My skin crawled with his touch.
“James, I’m too tired,” I said to keep him from going any further. I threw his arm back away from my body. I couldn’t turn myself off and on like a water faucet. He could forget ten minutes ago that he was furious with me, ready to physically hurt me but I could not.
“I’m happy just to hold you Gabrielle,” he whispered in my ear using a tone he thought was seductive but made me cringe inwardly.
“And Gabrielle” his voice sounded deep and menacing, “I won’t divorce you.” His arm wrapped around me again and held me tighter still. He was almost hurting me. “You married me for better or worse. You are mine. I know things aren’t great between us but we’ll find a way to make it work. I promise I’ll be kinder to Keegan.”
“I never said anything about divorce,” I replied uncomfortable that he knew exactly what I had been contemplating while taking a bubble bath.
