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I glanced over my shoulder at her. Her voice was soft and sweet, enticing me, drawing me to her, making me forget everything but her, right now, sitting beside me in my bed, fully clothed and more enticing than any other woman had ever been in my life.
“No, you haven’t,” I agreed. She never had. Disa never would. “I’d really like it if you would go with me and Asia to the park. Then maybe we could grab lunch at the diner.”
“I’d like that Ben.”
Chapter 10
I showered and changed into jeans and a sweater. Then we bundled up Asia in her pumpkin seat. Disa carried it while I carried the stroller and the diaper bag.
We headed to her apartment, so she could shower and change before our trip to the park. It wasn’t far from the trailer to her apartment complex.
The streets were curvy and lined with thick woods on either side of the road. The leaves had changed colors and were beginning to blanket the asphalt with a carpet of red, gold and green. I loved this time of year where the air was crisp and the mornings sometimes foggy. Hunting season wasn’t far off. We killed what we ate and no more. Granddad’s freezer stocked our supply of deer and wild turkey. Elijah was better with a bow, but we missed bow season this year because of the birth of our children.
I parked where Disa told me to park. We had left her car at my trailer for now. She had to work later this evening, so I had to have her home by four, so she could get ready to go Ike’s.
I liked spending time with her. I knew that tonight while she was working I would be thinking about her. I picked up Asia, releasing the pumpkin seat and followed Disa to the front door. She hesitated and looked towards the woods. She frowned at something she saw there.
“What’s wrong?”
She looked over her shoulder at me and shrugged. “Nothing, I thought I saw someone in the woods.” I looked in that direction. I didn’t see anything.
“Must be a shadow,” I said.
“Must be.” She didn’t sound convinced.
We went up the two flights of stairs. I knew now why she was in such great shape if she did this several times a day. She smiled at me when we arrived at her door. “You’re out of shape, Ben.”
“I only do weight lifting these days, Disa.”
“I need to work with you on your cardio,” she teased me.
I went inside with her and sat the baby on the floor. “I won’t be long.”
“Take your time,” I told her. “I’m in no hurry.”
Then I sat on the sofa while Disa headed down the short hall to the bathroom. Her drawing tablet was on the table. I stared at it for a moment wondering what lay inside that tablet. I should have respected her privacy. I did at first. Then the urge to snoop overwhelmed me and I opened the carboard facing.
A picture of me was the first image there. One I assumed she did recently. I turned the page. I recognized her, a self-portrait. She looked sad. The hurt was evident in her eyes. Was it because of me? Or her parents disowning her after she left the compound? I turned another page and there were more pictures of me. Some as young as when I was in high school. I ran my hand over my jaw. She had created a great likeness of me. Then I dropped the cover and looked at my child.
I couldn’t imagine not having her. Not loving her but I had screwed up by taking Jasmine out. I touched my daughter’s hand. She wasn’t a mistake. I truly believed that even though she was conceived in deceit. I was sure of it. I just wanted Disa to give me a second chance. I wanted her to be able to put this behind us and love me again.
I was lost in thought when she slipped out of the bathroom, wrapped in only a towel. She glanced over her shoulder at me clutching her dirty clothes to her chest. “I forgot clean clothes.”
I nodded but I couldn’t speak. Her back was firm and glistening with droplets of water from her shower. Her hair, she had tied up on her head. A few wayward curls had escaped her bun and were lying wet against the skin of her back.
“I’ll be just a minute,” she said.
She was right. She only took a minute to throw on a pair of jeans and a lavender sweater that brought out the color of her eyes. When she returned her hair was down and fluffed. Her curls wild about her face. She had on tennis shoes since we were going to be walking a lot.
Then she snatched up her purse and dug through it looking for something. She pulled out a lipstick. A soft, shiny mauve color that was sheer.
Disa walked to me then. “I’m ready.”
She was. She was everything that I didn’t deserve but wanted desperately to have again. I lowered my eyes, so she wouldn’t see my need for her. I picked up Asia from the floor. I started to move thinking she would too, but she laid her hands against my chest stopping my forward progress.
“Ben, what’s wrong? I know something is.”
I shook my head. Nothing was really, wrong. I had just spent the best fourteen hours since we had broken up. How could I tell her what it meant to me?
