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“It’s okay,” he told me.
“What?” I asked.
“Ben, it’s okay that you’re uncomfortable around me. I know that you love me. You never want to come to the cabin. I know you don’t so that’s why I always come here.”
Could he also read minds? I squirmed uncomfortably in my seat. I stared at him, unsure of what to say. Then I said what seemed most natural to me. “I do love you man.”
“That
’s why AJ and I will find out about Merci for Disa.”
I nodded.
“Are you okay?” I asked unable to stop the question that always made him uneasy. He didn’t like talking about himself.
He nodded. Then he looked at me. “I have nightmares, Ben. I live in the woods because I don’t like people. I have a technology job building servers and maintaining the network because it’s solitary. I’m good at it too. I’m happy doing what I’m doing.”
Wasn’t he lonely? Didn’t he want a woman to keep him warm at night? I glanced at the kitchen where AJ scrubbed a pot and Disa laughed at something he said to her. The big flirt. I rolled my eyes at my older brother. If I were an insecure man I would be jealous. Didn’t Heath want this too?
“I can’t imagine not having her in my life,” I told him. “I gave her up once.”
“Dumbass.”
I choked on the laughter that rolled through me. Then I looked at my brother. His eyes were vacant. He wasn’t giving away anything in relation to how he felt about women.
“Don’t you want this too, Heath?”
He snorted. “Have you seen my leg since it healed Ben?” His words were harsh and bitter. I hadn’t seen my brother’s leg. Heath was careful to hide it from everyone. I shook my head no.
Heath gazed at Asia, refusing to look at me. “Some days are better than others. Some days the limp is more pronounced and that is what you can see.” His tone had softened. His pain was still there. “You know I used to run the four forty in four point two seconds. That was damn fast for a man my size.”
I remembered.
“I used to love to run, Ben.” His tone and his voice were still soft. “Only AJ could run faster than me and only Daisy Clemmons could run faster than both of us.”
I laughed out right at that declaration. “Bite your tongue, Heath.”
AJ and Disa came into the living room. She slipped onto the sofa beside me and laid her head against my shoulder. I reached for her hand. I loved holding Disa’s hand. Our fingers intertwined. It was the most intimate thing I could think of besides sex. I didn’t know what sex with her was like yet, but I was anticipating it more than you could know.
“Face it, brother, she was faster than us both.”
“Not anymore,” he declared. “That cow couldn’t beat me in a race if I gave her a ten-minute head start.”
I clenched my teeth and braced myself. Disa turned her head towards AJ. The only time Disa lost her temper was when people were mean, and she was friends with Daisy. “That isn’t nice, AJ.”
“Don’t mind him,” Heath informed her. “AJ has hurt feelings still. She broke his heart when they left for college. He thought they were forever. Daisy had other ideas.”
AJ shook his head at Heath.
Disa frowned. “Neither of them is married,” she said. “Maybe they should give it a second chance.”
“Don’t you start,” AJ informed her, shaking his forefinger at her. “I don’t need that kind of trouble.”
She chuckled at him.
Then it got quiet except for the sound of Asia taking her bottle. While Heath was wild looking with his long hair and beard, my brother AJ was clean cut, clean shaven. It suited his position. On weekends, he might let his beard go until Sunday night or Monday morning.
He wore dress pants every day of the week. At least I could wear jeans to the plant. AJ was meticulous about his attire. His pants were neatly pressed, so they had a crease in the front with button down shirts that were equally prim and proper. He liked his desk job. He wore contacts and sometimes his glasses. So, this dark side to him, surprised me.
