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I knew there were a few lines on my thighs, hidden where no one would see. A moment of desperation that relieved my anxiety about moving to this new town. I shook my head no.
His eyes were so intense gazing at me that I wanted to look away. I could tell he didn’t believe me. “Don’t do it again.”
I glanced at Cal. If only it were as easy as someone saying don’t. If only it were as easy as saying don’t feel what you feel, and I could follow their direction.
“Blythe was supposed to call you and tell you what happened if I didn’t get home in time. She couldn’t find your number that I left for her. So, she called Aiden
and asked him to call you and explain I would be late not canceling our date.” He held my hands firm in his. “I couldn’t figure out why you weren’t answering my call until I spoke to Ty.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does to me. Aiden is supposed to be my friend.”
“He is,” I argued. I didn’t want to be the cause of the two of them disagreeing more than they were.
Cal shook his head like he disagreed. “I don’t know why he did this, but I will talk to him tomorrow. Tonight, I just wanted to be with you, Abby.”
We settled on the window seat in my bedroom, staring outside. Not really talking because both of us had a difficult night.
When it started to rain, the drops made a beautiful, peaceful sound against the windowpane. I rested my head against Cal’s shoulder and watched the images on the road blur in front of me as the rain came down harder.
His lips on my cheek startled me. I turned my head towards Cal only to have his kiss on my mouth. This kiss grew in intensity until I had to pull back afraid of my feelings.
Cal looked at me. His eyes never wavered. “I’ve never felt this way, Abby.”
“I’ve never had the chance to feel this way, Cal. You’re the first boyfriend I’ve ever had.”
He kissed me again. A gentle sweet kiss. “I’m glad,” he whispered. Then he smiled at me. “I’m happy you’re my girl.” Then he kissed me again. “You’re not mad at me anymore?”
“I was hurt. I thought you stood me up.”
He hugged me to him. “I wouldn’t do that.” Cal leaned back into the nook and took me with him. His arm wrapped around my waist holding me against him.
I enjoyed the peace and quiet, just being held against his chest. We weren’t speaking, lost in our thoughts. Finally, I asked if his sister was okay.
“She’s pretty upset but I guess she’ll be okay.”
I couldn’t imagine. As a kid. I didn’t think about those things. I wanted kids someday. A long time from now. In my thirties, maybe? I wanted to live first. Travel and do things. I wanted to find myself and come out of my shell. Somehow, someway. I thought college would be the first step for me to grow and become the woman I wanted to be.
“What do you want to do in life?” Cal asked.
“Write.” It was that simple. I had never wanted to do anything else. “What about you?”
“I don’t know. I hope college will be paid for with at least a partial athletic scholarship. Dad talks about the military. It makes a man out of you.”
I glanced at Cal and his eyes met mine. “You don’t want the military?”
“No, I want to go to college. Someday if I have a family, I would like to be there for them.” I turned in his arms and hugged him.
“Have you told him that you miss him?”
He snorted at me. “Wouldn’t do any good.”
“It might.”
“Dad might make it home this season. He’s hoping to. He’s been gone nine months. He usually makes it home every nine to twelve months. I’ll introduce you to him. You’ll see.”
I glanced up at him. He was unhappy talking about his dad. I could see it in his eyes. “How does your mom deal with this…him being gone so much.”
