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“At least he never lied to me. You seem to have a pathological habit of it. If you ever, and I emphasize the word ever, want me to start trusting in you, then stop. Lying. To. Me!” I shout, pointing at my chest. “I only trust you to protect me, but when it comes to my heart…” I pause to steal a breath while shaking my head. “I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you. I want to talk to him.”
“Don’t make me be a bigger dick than I have to be,” he growls in a low timbre. “Don’t push me; you won’t win this one, not by a long shot.”
“You’re never going to let me talk to anyone from my past ever again.” My heart sinks and my hands begin to shake. One would think I’d get it through my thick skull that I’m going to be his prisoner until he decides to release me, if that day ever comes. “My past is all that I have,” I whisper as my voice trails off.
“No. No, it’s not. You have me now.”
“No, I have nothing right now.” I shake my head, my lips slipping into a solemn frown. “I have nothing except for secrets and lies.”
The bed dips as he sits down beside me, firmly grasping me by the shoulders, vexed I would even say such a thing. “You have me, dammit! I’m busting my balls here to keep you safe…keep us safe. After all this time, after everything we’ve been through together…and this…this is what you think of me?”
I scoff in his face. “Tell me, just what am I supposed to think of you? You’ve lied so much you probably wouldn’t even know the truth if it hit you in the face.” I grit my teeth. “I need some time to think things over, Travis. I haven’t had any time to process anything. It’s like the minute I got my memory back, all hell broke loose, literally.”
“Baby, there’s nothing to think over,” he says as if I’m being ridiculous.
“Maybe for you there isn’t. Don’t you get it? I don’t know who you are.”
“Yes. Yes, you do know me. You’ve seen the real me. You’ve had the real me, and I know you feel this powerful thing between us.”
“Whether I feel this thing between us or not is inconsequential.” My eyes widen, the emotional turmoil pouring out of my mouth. “My God! I killed a live human being just one day ago! I can’t process that. I’m not a killer!” My eyes narrow on his with stark realization. “But you are, aren’t you?” I whisper. My hand covers my mouth as I acknowledge the horror as it sinks in. “Your job is to drug women with Blyss, and then sell them,” I whisper the horrendous words behind my fingertips. I’ve become so familiar with him that I’ve justified my captivity for a relationship in order to cope. A strangled cry emits from the back of my throat and my stomach lurches.
My God, he’s a sex trafficker! His touch on my shoulders becomes too much. I jerk myself away from his hold and scoot back in the bed until my back hits the headboard. Terror stricken, I need to get away from him. Travis reaches out for me, and I hold my hands out to stop him. “Don’t…don’t touch me. I can’t…I can’t do this right now.” My heart hammers in my chest. Pain…I feel so much pain.
“You’re not thinking straight right now, baby.” The look on his face turns worried, his voice tender and soft. “I think it’s time we discuss the big elephant in the room.”
“Which elephant, Travis? Are you referring to my state of captivity, or the fact I had to shoot and kill a human being in the last forty-eight hours?” I bite out.
His lips thin and he ignores the captive remark. He takes a deep breath before letting out a dramatic sigh, as if the world is weighing heavy on his shoulders. His eyes plead with mine. “I need you to trust me. There are things I want to tell you, but I can’t right now.” He waves his hand between our bodies as he continues his petition. “We need to get our relationship back on track.”
“Relationship? Are you delusional?” I bark. “All I’ve done is take leaps of faith with you, trust you, but each leap is lined with deception, and each lie is delivered with a stone wall face. I can never tell what’s real with you. What are you trying to say, Travis? Because there is no black or white with you. You only live in shades of grey.”
His eyes close briefly in defeat before he answers me. “I can’t expect you to understand any of this, Julianna.” He reaches out and gently places his hand over my chest, supporting the weight of my medallion in his hand. His green eyes bore into mine, piercing me deep within my soul. “I’m begging you to keep trusting in me, because the less you know, the more preserved your life will be. I swear to you, I have your best interests at heart. What we have, Jules, it’s real.”
