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“I don’t,” I laugh, blushing at her compliment. It’s not true, but then moms always think their kids are beautiful. She shakes her head at me, but I just smile. “I just wanted to see if you needed anything,” I explain, automatically going over to where she is and situating her pillows that are on the wedge.
“You are, too. Are the boys having fun?”
“Yeah, they’re in there playing video games.”
“I don’t like those old things,” Mom mutters. “I swear I think they rot the brain.”
I grin. “I don’t like them that much either. That’s why I limit Adam’s time with them. There’s a new comic-based movie that just came out for streaming. I’ll settle them down with it while they eat.”
“I saw that, but wasn’t it pricey to rent?”
“Twenty bucks,” I answer.
“Yikes, though I suppose that’s cheaper than going to the movies,” she rationalizes.
“If it will keep them happy and contained for a couple of hours it will be money well spent,” I laugh.
“I suppose so. You find time to rest tonight, please? You’re looking a little peaked.”
“I’m fine, Mom. You just worry too much. You want to come out and eat with all of us instead of here in your room?”
“You guys don’t need an old biddy in there with you young people.”
“Oh stop. You’re trying to make it sound like you’re ancient. Besides, I’d love for you to eat with us. It might make things easier with Blue to be honest.”
“You’re having a child together and you’re dating,” Mom chastises. “How much smoother do you need it to go?”
“I’m not sure what we’re doing, Mom. It’s hard for me to believe that Blue has gone from hating me to wanting me in his life overnight,” I murmur, confessing what’s been on mind more than anything else.
“Sweetheart, maybe it seemed like he hated you because he wanted you in his life and thought it was impossible?”
“Yeah, right.”
“I think that’s entirely possible. Blue’s ego was bruised. That’s hard for a man. They’re like big babies when their manhood is involved.”
That makes me laugh. “Mom, Blue has more testosterone in his body than should be legal. There’s no way anything dented his ego when it comes to me.”
“You always shortchange yourself, Meddie. You’re an amazing woman, and I hate that everything you went through with Clark makes it so you can’t see that.”
“I’m fine, Mom. I think I’m more of a mess—maybe even weak.”
“Weak? How on earth could you even think that?”
“I should have left my marriage sooner than I did. I hate that Adam didn’t have the father he should have; I just kept thinking it would get better. I really didn’t want my son to come from a broken home. Then, if I did divorce him, he would have gotten visitation with Adam on the weekends, and I wouldn’t have been able to protect him. It sounds stupid now, I suppose. I did the best I could.”
“You always put Adam first. No one can fault that, my girl.”
“Maybe. I think I blame myself. Clark wasn’t a bad person, he was just…”
“Weak, baby. He was weak.”
“I guess. Some would think I was for going back to him once we separated.”
“I’ll admit I didn’t truly understand that,” Mom says with a sigh. It makes me smile. The truth is I’m not sure I understand it myself.
“He was dying, Mom. He didn’t have anyone. I couldn’t just leave him alone. Besides, Adam got to connect with the man Clark once was—the man I married. That was important for him, or at least I like to think it was.”
“It was. It takes a very special person to do that, though.”
“You’re biased,” I dismiss. “Anyway, quit distracting me. Come out to the living room. You can eat with us and watch the movie.”
“Stop worrying about me, Meddie. I might. If I decide to, I have that chair there. I can get there on my own.”
I look at Mom and then let my gaze move to the electric wheelchair. She does good with it. I just worry because her legs are weak. Mom must pick up on what I’m thinking.
“Mom—”
“I said I’ll be fine. Now, get in there and wait for your man.”
“Mom, if there’s one thing that Blue Lucas isn’t, it’s my man,” I laugh, ignoring the tingle that enters my body when Mom calls him that.
“Dinner’s here.”
I turn to the doorway and see Blue standing there with a strange look on his face.
Of all the times for him to walk in it had to be now.
Damn it.
Chapter 21
Blue
It burns.
Hearing Meadow deny what I am is a bitterness that drips into my bones. I want to yell, to shake her, and make her admit what I know is true down to the soles of my boots.
I am hers.
And, damn it all to hell, she’s mine. I know I have an uphill climb to prove that to her. I just don’t like being reminded of it.
