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Three days passed before she finally messaged me, realizing something was different.
Hey, I haven’t seen you in a few. Are you okay? You’re not mad at me, are you? Did I do something wrong?
So innocent. So sweet. And she’d automatically thought she was the problem.
Now my stomach burned with even more guilt and self-revulsion.
You mean you actually CAN do wrong? I wrote back immediately. Impossible. Of course, I’m not mad at you, dork. Just been busy. I’ll visit again as soon as I can.
Which meant now I had to visit. Soon. And be normal about it.
She wrote back, You’re right. I am flawless. I don’t know what I was thinking. Can’t wait to see you again when you have the time, I’m going to make you start watching a Smallville marathon with me.
I smiled. Watching Smallville with her actually sounded wonderful.
I’d visit her tomorrow.
But the next day, I bumped into the hottest senior girl, Shayla Birmingham, in the halls. I mean, literally bumped into her, making both of us spill all our books onto the floor. We laughed it off and then crouched at the same time, helping each other pick up our things before going our separate ways again.
The next hour, my phone buzzed with a new text.
Hey, this is Shayla. I think we switched phones when we collided in the hallway.
Oh, shit. She was right. I had her phone. My black case was a lot more scuffed than this one.
We texted a couple more times to figure out the best meet and exchange times until we decided I’d just pick it up from her house after football practice since she was busy with cheerleading until then.
She sent me the smiley face emoticon more than once and told me I was funny because of the way I worded things. But I didn’t think I’d impressed her that much, not until I showed up at her place that evening and she invited me in before telling me her parents were gone.
Then she shoved her tongue down my throat and her hand down my pants.
Yeah, I wasn’t expecting that either.
But I was a horny teenage boy, she was a pretty girl known for getting around, and Sarah only saw me as a friend.
So what followed was primal filth full of sweaty moans and a couple of classic claw marks.
The next day when I saw Sarah, I paused in the hallway about ten feet away, watching her sit in her wheelchair as she dug a book from her locker. Even though I felt guilty as hell, I knew I shouldn’t because no matter what I felt for her, she didn’t feel that for me, meaning I hadn’t cheated on her. It could only be cheating if she felt the same way I felt, right? And if she had felt the same, then I wouldn’t have done anything with Shayla anyway. So my instant guilt was a moot point.
Bottom line was, Sarah only saw me as a friend, which meant I was going to have to get used to doing things with girls who weren’t her, because my time with Shayla had settled something inside me.
It was as if I’d gotten every animalistic urge I’d been having out of my system. And now...now I sensed I could go back to just being Sarah’s friend and not wanting more. The moment she closed her locker and saw me watching her, I didn’t immediately focus on her mouth and want a blow job. I just saw my friend.
And that was how I needed to keep it.
From that point on, I knew what I had to do to keep life between us clean and pure.
Though I didn’t tell her anything about what had happened between me and Shayla—or any other girl who followed—word got out, and I became “the man” for being the only sophomore to score with the head senior cheerleader. Sarah would’ve had to be deaf and dumb not to hear about it, but she never said anything to me, so I never said anything to her. And that’s how our friendship continued. I kept my sex life private while everything else in me belonged to her.
SARAH
AGE 18
I was full of butterflies. Not just in my stomach. I swear they’d gotten loose from there and were fluttering throughout my entire body, because I was driving all on my very own.
In my own car!
After getting permission from the doctor, going through hours of a special driver’s training class, and getting an SUV to hold my wheelchair on a ramp from the back and hand controls, since my arms worked better than my legs, I finally had a license!
