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“Jo Ellen.” He released a tired breath and rubbed a spot on the center of his forehead. “It’s fine.”
“But I upset you,” she mumbled more to herself, feeling like she should do something to repay him for all the turmoil she’d put him through, not just from last night and today, but from ten years ago.
He sniffed out an amused sound. “You didn’t upset me,” he said. “I upset myself. I apologize for being short with you just now. I was starting to think about things I have no business thinking, considering impossible probabilities, and I was in the middle of giving myself a mental reprimand when you spoke. That’s why I snapped.”
She opened her mouth to ask why he’d been reprimanding himself but his gaze swept over her—almost longingly—causing the words to clog in her throat. She took a big gulp of beer because her throat went from parched to downright desiccated.
Across the water, Branson said something to Emma Leigh, tearing Jo Ellen’s attention from Cooper, but she couldn’t make out the words. She watched the two as Em showed her husband how to reel in his line and cast his bait in a different direction. They worked so well together. Envy swirled inside her, making her wish—
The carbonation in her beer created an air bubble and she burped. Eyes going wide, she swerved toward Cooper to make sure he hadn’t heard. But to her everlasting humiliation, he arched an eyebrow her way.
She covered her mouth with one hand and prayed to die quickly. “Excuse me.”
He flashed his teeth in an immediate grin. Then a chuckle burst from him. Before she knew it, he was cradling his belly and rolling across the grass, hollering with laugher.
Jo Ellen face’s burned. “It wasn’t that funny.”
“Hell, yes it was,” Cooper managed as he wiped tears out of his eyes. “You didn’t see the look on your face. It was the most hilarious thing ever.”
Jo Ellen sighed and shook her head. A second later, she grew fed up. “Stop laughing.”
“Sorry, sorry.” He tried to settle his face, but a second later, he burst out again. “Oh, God,” he hooted. “I can’t help it.”
Picking up a smooth, round pebble from the ground beside her, Jo Ellen chucked it at him and beaned him in the shoulder.
Immediately, he stopped laughing. “Ouch.” Rubbing his arm, he cast her a frown.
She preened and took another sip of beer, which suddenly tasted rather good.
Satisfied with her aim and her ability to control even a little bit of him, her courage soared. Before she could stop herself, she spoke up. “So, after I ran out on you, I thought about what you said last night.”
He glanced at her. She felt his stare like a physical caress, but she refused to return it. Hoarsely, he asked, “And?”
She gave her bobber a rueful grin. “I don’t know. I just thought about it. That’s all. I…I’m truly sorry if I broke your heart. I didn’t realize.”
Finally, she risked a glance his way.
But all he did was shrug as he fiddled with the reel of his fishing pole. “Don’t worry about it. It was ten years ago.”
The urge to argue with him filled her. Ten years ago or not, breaking someone’s heart was a very big deal in her book. And for her to do the breaking…
It bothered her. It bothered her a lot, especially since Cooper Gerhardt of all people landed on the receiving end of that breaking. All he’d ever done was try to help her.
Suddenly mad at herself for always wanting to do something—or wishing she’d grow the nerve to speak up—and never doing it, she straightened her spine. “Well, what if I want to worry about it?”
He looked startled before g
rinning. “And what’re you going to do? Duct tape the organ back together? I got over it, moved on with my life. There’s nothing to worry about?”
“Oh really?” she challenged. “Is that why you’re happily married with a crew of children running wild across your farm then?”
He went still as if she’d actually struck a nerve. In a deadly soft tone, he said, “That doesn’t have anything to do with you.”
She arched an eyebrow. “Are you sure? What if…what if my breaking your heart messed you up, made you lose all faith in women,” just as Travis had caused her to lose all faith in men. “What if I prevented you from having the happiness you deserve. You should be happy, Cooper. You should—”
He shut her up with a small, amused laugh as he shook his head. “You haven’t changed at all, have you? Still a bleeding heart, worried about upsetting everyone else.”
“You’re exactly the same way,” she accused.
