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You really never realized how precious a person’s trust and faith in you was until you didn’t have it anymore. I didn’t want to lose it with Bailey either, so I’m pretty sure I was willing to do just about anything to keep her believing in me.
Chapter 15
BAILEY
“So…?” I held my hands in front of the heater’s blower on the dash of Beckett’s truck before rubbing my warmed palms together and dropping them back into my lap. “You were going to fill me in on your family drama.”
I was still a little shocked at myself for so readily going anywhere with him, but then…I guess I’d been craving an escape to get away from school and even my apartment for a while, so when he’d asked his request to get me out of town, it had felt like a big, fat blinking sign. I jumped all over the offer without even thinking it through. Then again, making rash decisions was my thing, so…huh, I guess it wasn’t that surprising after all, though it was weird sitting quietly in a truck with a guy I knew basically nothing about, expect how pretty he was when he came.
Beckett glanced across the cab at me, looking distinctly uncomfortable. “Uh…” But then his gaze lit when he caught sight of a gas station. “Hold that thought. I need to fill up.”
When he parked in front of a gas pump and killed the engine, he pulled his wallet from his back pocket before filing through the bills inside. I arched up enough to catch sight of a five, three ones, and nothing else. He snapped the wallet back together and sent me a quick glance.
I sank back into my seat, attempting to look innocent and unassuming, even though questions flooded the tip of my tongue. There was no way he’d be able to fill the gas tank on eight dollars. The gauge had showed we were at just under a quarter tank, and with an hour-long ride, I wasn’t so sure eight dollars would get us there and back.
I wanted to ask why he wasn’t pulling out a credit or debit card. I wanted to know if he needed me to pay. I had no problems with chipping in gas money. But he didn’t ask for help and I didn’t offer any. He seemed so embarrassed by his financial situation I kept my mouth shut, which was a rare event in and of itself. I never kept quiet when really curious thoughts bombarded me.
But I sat in the quiet cab of his truck like a good girl who really wasn’t nosy as he murmured, “Be right back,” and pushed the door open.
I watched from my seat as he went inside to pay, then filled the engine with exactly eight dollars’ worth of gas.
When Beckett returned, sliding behind the wheel, and started the engine, he sent me an uneasy glance before asking, “Are you warm enough?” Then he fiddled with the heater controls. I think he wanted me to say no so he’d have a reason to change the temperature, and do something, anything to avoid the elephant in the truck.
But I said, “I’m fine,” to which he muttered a disappointed, “Oh,” and dropped his hand from the heater controls.
“Want some music on?” he asked next, already going for the radio next. “Country station, right?”
Man, he really did not want to tell me about his family situation. The boy was procrastinating big time. That only made me more eager to know everything.
Besides, if I was supposed to step into the lion’s den with him, it seemed logical that I learned what I was heading into. Honestly, it was only fair. Plus it would help curb some of the raging curiosity in me, because I felt like I might blow any second from the insane need to know.
“What I don’t get,” I said, “Is how your parents, who should know you better than just about anyone, thought you were even capable of rape. Are you sure there’s not something you need to tell me about you?”
He sighed and settled both hands on the steering wheel. “I only talked to my dad on the phone about it,” he finally admitted. “And he never came right out and said, ‘I don’t believe you.’ He was more ‘you need to take responsibility for your actions,’ and he said that after I told him Melody already had a boyfriend when we—”
“Melody already had a boyfriend?” I squ
awked. “When you two…” I motioned back and forth with my fingers.
Beckett glanced at me, frowning as if he thought I should already know this. “Yeah. Why do you think she cried rape in the first place? After you left the door unlocked, he came in looking for her. As soon as he found us together, she immediately started bawling and claiming I forced her.”
“Holy shit.” I stared forward out the dark windshield and watched the glowing reflection of the approaching highway signs zip by on the side of the road. “She’s even more wicked than I originally thought. I had no idea she had a boyfriend when she came onto you.”
“Yeah,” Beckett muttered bitterly. “Neither did I.”
I turned to watch his profile as he focused on the road ahead. “So none of this would’ve happened if I’d just relocked the door behind me, huh?”
He glanced over, meeting my gaze before scowling and shaking his head. “No. None of this would’ve happened if Melody had just been faithful to her boyfriend and left me the hell alone. None of this would’ve happened if I had just told her no like I’d wanted to. None of this would’ve happened if she’d just manned up and admitted to cheating on him. You did nothing wrong whatsoever.”
I sank lower into my seat, feeling the urge to argue that point. It felt as if I’d done plenty wrong. I’d spied on him having sex, I’d remained quiet and hidden when he’d tried to tell her no, I’d taken not only a picture but a freaking video of it. I’d left the door unlocked so they would get caught together, and then…then…I’d left him hanging in jail for longer than I should have.
Hugging myself and feeling vile, I muttered, “Why didn’t you just tell her no? It was obvious the whole time that you wanted her to leave you alone.”
He reached up and reshaped the bill of his hat with his hand in a nervous gesture before quietly admitting, “I don’t know. Because I’m stupid. I was drunk. I’m a guy. I didn’t want to be alone. Take your pick.” Then he wiped his hand over his face before releasing a pent-up breath. “Trust me, if I had to do it all over again, I’d have run out of that room screaming as soon she entered it, or I would’ve hidden with you in the…” He paused to glance at me. “Where the hell did you hide the whole time, anyway?”
“Bathroom,” I admitted ruefully.
He nodded. “Behind the shower curtain?”
