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“Now exhale,” I ordered.
He did, closing his eyes and leaning forward to rest his forehead against my chest. My arms just naturally went around his head until I was hugging him to me. It was the oddest thing ever. I never hugged anyone, but it was like I couldn’t not hug Beck. He needed it. And I could tell he really did need it too because his arms went around me until he was clutching the back of my coat and holding onto to me for dear life as he shook in my arms and pressed his cheek firmly to my breasts.
When he sniffed, I cooed, “Shh. It’s okay. It’s all okay now.”
Nothing was okay, but I think he needed to hear me say it was, anyway.
I petted his hair and ached deep inside for him. His entire world was shattered, and his core foundation—his own family—had just crumbled under him. I couldn’t even imagine how devastating that was.
I just held him and consoled him as best I could by running my hand over his head. A crick started to grow in my back and my thighs began to burn from holding the awkward position. I didn’t think he could be too comfortable how he was either, so I said, “Do you want to lay down?”
He didn’t answer but gradually started to shift across the bed, lowering himself as he went. The problem was he didn’t release his grip on me, so I stumbled along with him, nearly falling on top of him as he stretched out.
He didn’t seem to want to unbury his face from my boobs, but I knew there was nothing sexual in his touch. He was seeking solace, nothing more.
Wiggling around until we were settled and cozy, we wound up with me on my back and him draped half on top of me, finally turning his face enough to the side that his cheek was nestled against my heartbeat. His arm stayed tightly wrapped around me as the occasional shud
der wracked his body. That lasted a good half hour before his breathing deepened and he fell asleep. I kept stroking his hair though, I think I’d become addicted to doing that.
My fingers didn’t want to stop comforting him, they might have even kept going after I eventually fell asleep.
My last hazy thought before I dropped off was how strange life was. I’d had exactly two encounters with this guy and yet I oddly felt closer to him than I could remember feeling to anyone. My arms tightened around him, hugging him just a little closer to me. In his sleep, he sighed as if comforted. Warmed from the inside out, I fell into a deep and heavy, dreamless sleep.
Chapter 18
BECKETT
I woke to light. An almost cheerful light.
It was strange. I was bruised, sore, stiff, my head was pounding, my eyes felt swollen, my throat was painfully dry, I’d been turned out and rejected by everyone I thought I could rely on and yet I felt at peace. I don’t know if it was the cheerful sunlight streaming in through the window, the softness of the pillow under my head, the warmth of the blankets on top of me, or the comforting texture of the human flesh under my fingers.
My hand stroked idly up the flesh, running briefly over a more-wrinkled nubby area, until I decided it was an arm I was touching with an elbow in the middle. My lashes fluttered open to an eyeful of kinky blonde curls.
I released the arm I was holding so I could curl some of the hair around my finger and then watch it spring up and bounce a few times. A small smile lit my lips. I couldn’t remember feeling this content for a long time, maybe even before Melody Fairfield had destroyed my life. I closed my eyes, delighting in the warmth of the sunshine and grateful for the softness of the mattress under my tender ribs.
But the moment was ruined when the owner of the arm and hair moved, letting out a moan of protest before flopping onto her back, nearly flattening me in the process and stretching her arms above her head—almost taking out my eye that time—and arching her back. Her breasts lifted, pressing snug against the cotton of her shirt, and things in me stirred, giving their own little morning stretch of approval.
I opened my mouth to say hello, but that seemed like the lamest greeting to give someone after they’d just selflessly nursed you through the night and single-handedly kept you from having a complete mental breakdown. So I closed my mouth and tried to cough some morning dryness from my throat.
Bailey squeaked her surprise, nearly tumbling from the bed and not-nearly, but actually catching me in the ribs this time with her elbow.
I sucked in a breath and curled into a ball around the pain, cradling my side with both hands.
“Holy shit,” she yelped, sitting upright to gape at me. “I totally forgot you were here.”
I intended to apologize for scaring her, but Jesus Christ, I hurt.
“Are you okay?” she finally asked, worry sparking her gray eyes, before she reached out her hand to touch my arm, only to pull back again.
I nodded and tried to straighten so she wouldn’t be able to tell how much my side still throbbed.
She continued to frown with worry, watching me closely. I focused on her face and felt a sharp, stabbing embarrassment. I’d completely freaked out all over her. I’d taken charity from her and stayed at her place, which I never would’ve done in a normal frame of mind. I’d hugged her, clung to her really, and weakly let her comfort me. And I barely knew her.
I had no idea what to say and had to look away. I kind of would’ve loved it if the earth would crack open right about now and suck me down forever. Anything to escape this humiliating, humbling moment.
“I need to use the bathroom,” she said abruptly as if she too felt the urgent need to escape.
After scampering off the bed, she darted, still in the clothes she’d worn the night before through a partially opened doorway before snapping it shut.
