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His mouth fell open as he gaped at me. Then he darted a glanced to Paige, Logan, Jonah and Tess as Paige uttered, “Say what?”
“I-I wasn’t trying to kill myself,” he rushed to explain to them before tightening his jaw and sending me a hard stare for outing him. “I was just—”
“Just what?” I growled. “Exploring your options? Suicide is not an option, Beck.”
“Well, what the hell else am I supposed to do?” he cried, pulling hard enough to get loose of me. His eyes turned watery as his bottom quivered. “There’s nothing left for me here. I’m not doing any good for anyone.” Motioning to me, he looked even more tormented. “I’m not doing any good for you. Everything and everyone would be better off if I was just gone.”
“No, I would not,” I rasped meaningfully as I shook my head. “I would most definitely not be better off if you were gone. I’d be a fucking failure, that’s what I’d be. Helping you through this has felt like the only thing I’ve ever done right. If you took your own life, you’d take that away from me.” Gritting my teeth, I growled, “Don’t you goddamn dare take that away from me.”
A tear trickled down his cheek. “I’m a burden to you.”
I shook my head. “No. You’re my friend. Friends aren’t burdens.”
He covered his face with both hands to hide the evidence of his feelings as his shoulders shook and a sob wracked his frame. “Christ, Bailey. Don’t say that. I don’t deserve it.”
“Well, too bad. I disagree. And besides, even if you didn’t deserve it, I’m sure no one really deserves half the lucky shit they get in life.”
There was only one thing that had ever worked before when he’d been this down, so I did that. Opening my arms, I wrapped them around him and hugged him.
He immediately hugged me back, burying his face in my hair and shuddering against me as he rasped, “I’m sorry,” into my hair. “I’m so sorry. I really wasn’t going to do anything. It was just a thought. Just a stupid, passing thought. I promise you, I won’t ever hurt myself.”
I patted his back, letting him know all was forgiven and forgotten.
Behind us, I heard Tess say, “Is she hugging him? Am I seeing things, or is she really, honestly hugging him?”
“I think she’s really, honestly hugging him,” Paige whispered back.
Beck lifted his face from my shoulder and quickly mopped his cheeks with his fingers before he cast a horrified glance at our audience. Just as swiftly, he stepped back, turning away to hide his misery.
I took in my roommates, looking each one in the eye, one after another. “Well?” I asked. “His life has completely derailed on him. He has no money, no job, no family, no friends, and no place else on the planet to go. The university kicked him out, and his emotional stability is zilch. Are you really going to kick him out after that?”
I knew I had my two friends’ support then. They both looked beseechingly to their boyfriends.
Jonah sighed and muttered a curse under his breath.
Logan eyed Beck as he rubbed his hand over the inside of this wrist. Then he said, “What about a compromise?”
Beck glanced at him as he lowered his brow, untrusting. “What kind of compromise?”
Logan studied his other three roommates before drawing in a breath. “I think we’re all in agreement we don’t want to put him out on the street. We’d like to help him as much as you do until he gets back on his feet, but there’s still a measure of unease, since he’s an unknown. How about he be here in the evenings and overnight,” he motioned toward me, “when Bailey’s here. Then, while we’re all in class and working during the day and the apartment’s empty, he finds somewhere else to go.”
Beck and the other three, all nodded, agreeing with that idea, but I cried, “No way. Yesterday, when he left during the day, he got the shit beat out of him. The news made everyone believe he’s a rapist, so that’s what everyone who crosses his path thinks of him. He’s not safe out there.”
Beckett scowled at me. Just like a guy, thinking he didn’t need any protection and could take care of himself. “I’ll be fine.”
I gaped at him, unable to believe he was okay with this. Why was everyone against me? Beck needed a safe place at all hours. They were being such idiots right now. Did no one else realize how much danger he’d be in out there?
Obviously, they didn’t because they just kept staring at me, waiting for me to give in, already.
Knowing I couldn’t win this round, I threw m
y hands in the air and groused, “Well, if no one minds his face looking like ground chuck for the rest of his life because everyone and their dog wants a piece of him, far be it for me to care. But just for the record, I think this is a stupid plan. He should be allowed to stay here at all hours.”
Then folding my arms over my chest, I stormed from the room, muttering over my shoulder. “I’m making supper tonight. No one help me.” They’d all just try to make something stupid for us to eat, anyway. Humph.
Chapter 22
BECKETT
